We cut off contact with my siblings and niece a few years ago because they were extremely abusive (to such an extent that the police gave one of my siblings a formal caution). They have engaged in a smear campaign for more than a decade, caused us a lot of worry and tried to turn our extended family and community against us. One of my siblings has a history of violence towards various people and has a criminal conviction for assaulting a police officer (suspended sentence).
This sibling's daughter (my niece) recently turned up at our door unannounced with a new partner. It was after dark, and we were ready for bed. We usually check the camera but I foolishly opened the door. We were taken off guard and invited them in, chatted, offered them food and drink and even invited them to drop in any time! We were babbling like idiots, afraid of looking inhospitable and crazy in front of her partner who was a stranger to us.
However we bitterly regret breaking our "no contact" rule.
Now we have to go through the whole horrible process of telling them that we don't wish to see them, that they're not welcome, that we didn't actually mean it when we over-enthusiastically told them to "drop in again, anytime!"
We both feel sick to our stomachs. We couldn't eat our supper. My heart was pounding while they were there and still I felt very cold (at least it makes a change from menopausal hot flushes!). The moment they left, we called a mutual acquaintance who is terrified of them. Sharing our fears didn't cure our anxiety. We are dreading them turning up again. We are actually thinking of moving house!