When to take the tree and decor down?

[EvAdA]

DP and I moved in together this year and we have reached our first major disagreement. We put the decor and tree up around the start of December, earlier than he would have liked admittedly. We are done hosting for anything Christmas or New Year related. On Monday we go skiing then to his family for a few days and won't be home again until the 7th. I have work to do on the afternoon of the 7th and all day on the 8th, he is self employed so more flexible.
He believes decor shouldn't come down until after the 6th (epiphany) and we can either do it on the 7th or on the weekend after. I think as we are done hosting and won't even be here we should take them down tomorrow, do a nice deep clean and come back to a fresh home ready to enjoy the New Year. He claims that is fighting his culture and we should leave them up, he put them up early for me etc.

AIBU to want them down before we go?

Whilst I would prefer to.get them down early in your situation, he's right. He compromised on when to put them up, it's your turn to compromise now. And if he's a Christian and observes the 12th night /epiphany stuff then you should respect that

Twelfth night. 5th January.

Epiphany is 6th Jan, but decor usually comes down evening before.

DP is Italian, he says that in Italy or atleast his area very few would take them down before Epiphany which is celebrated in its own right and is a national holiday.

I find it so weird that people rush to put their tree up, only to rush to take it down again. Surely now is the bit where you want to feel all Christmassy and have twinkly lights up while you’re around the house to enjoy them.

We get a real tree, so it only goes up the 2nd or 3rd weekend of December and will come down on 7th Jan, the day before the local charity collection of real trees.

I don't think I'd like to come home to a fully decorated tree/house on the 7th, so I'd take things down before you go away. Maybe leave a token nice decoration up in respect to his beliefs, maybe your door wreath or something?

Well then. It stays up until after Epiphany then. It's not an unreasonable compromise.

This. He compromised for you, it's your turn now to compromise for him.

I completely agree with this. It sounds like he has valid reasons to want to keep it up, while OP just "wanted" to put them up that early.

As much as my preference would be the same as yours OP, I'd suck it up if it was important to someone I love.

I took mine down today! It’s the only day I have free before we go away on the 8th.

Im with your husband, there are 12 days of Christmas. He compromised for you so you can compromise for him. I dont understand why people can't wait to take them down, its still Christmas. Its sad to see traditions dying out.

Goodness, how long did it take? Mine will be removed and put away in 20 minutes, on the evening of 5 January.

I'd never take them down before Epiphany.

I love Christmas but I took mine down yesterday. But I agree with previous posters, he compromised for you and you should want to do the same for him.

Also, if it’s important to him as part of his culture/traditions, then you should understand this matters to him.

Absolutely - 12 days here. I can never understand why people say the house can’t be cleaned with decorations up. If so, why put them up so early?

Xmas day if i could!

Mine went down on Boxing Day. I'd happily compromise in this case though, especially if it meant him taking them down!

I’m in full Christmas mode. There are still presents under the tree to be given out, still festivities in full swing, still meats and sprouts yet to be cooked and crackers yet to be pulled. I’ve not even opened the cheese. We have been hosting and been hosted, still have lots of hosting left to do, have nine round for lunch tomorrow and 14 for dinner, another lot of nine for dinner the day after We have panto still to go to, we’ve not opened the Christmas chocolates yet. I only put some of the decorations up on the 23rd and that’s only a few days ago.

ill be in full Christmas until the 2nd January at the earliest.

Me? Im not fussed on Christmas and its a bloody miracle if the tree goes up before christmas even, but onceits up, it stays till 12th night

its always been 12th night, no idea why, family tradition probably

I used to love getting the tree up and decorated the whole house, but then in hospitality and working what felt like 24/7 during December, it was always a job that could wait

Now taking it down 12th night , there is a stretch in the morning and evening. Small but noticeable for us early risers

Rather a crucial detail, omitted from your OP.
Even for many here, the Feast of the Epiphany is culturally (if not religiously) significant, but for an Italian, it’s a really big deal, with interesting folk elements interwoven with the religious one.

January 6th as a special date is clinging on by its fingernails in Ireland, where it’s long been reserved and respected as the ‘Women’s Little Christmas’, but that’s dying out now that the heavy workload for the festivities is at least half borne by men. (Or so we are told 🤣)

Is it worth the battle? I would just let him win this one if it is important to him. Who would look back on their deathbed and be pleased that they ever prioritised housework over their partner's feelings?

I'm taking ours down next weekend so either the 3rd or 4th of Jan. They've been up since Dec 1st and I love them. I have some special personalised decorations, that I love śo no rush to pack away.

IMO it’s not something worth arguing about. If your DP feels strongly about it, let him have his own way. What is the big deal?

This

Mine always come down before NYE. Hate having them up come Jan.