Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Left out of gift giving

74 replies

WilCh · 27/12/2025 18:49

Went to a family’s home for Christmas dinner , I brought some of my own food(I’m vegetarian)
I also bought presents for all the family, they have known me for a few years,
at present exchange time they didn’t give me any sort of gift , I felt so awkward, & none of them even said thankyou for the items I’d bought,AIBU?
to think this was a bit mean?

OP posts:
Charlenedickens · 27/12/2025 18:52

Who are they toyoi? Inviting you forxmas could be very kind and your gifts as a thank you I think wanting them to a!so but you presents maybe a bit much

EchoesOfOurDreams · 27/12/2025 18:54

YANBU.

Something similar happened to me with some old school friends (or who I thought were friends). I hadn't been told that they were doing any sort of gift giving, but one friend invited me round to another friend's house as a few people were going there. When I got there basically the whole group were doing a round of gift giving and I hadn't been included at all. I just sat there awkwardly whilst they were all exchanging gifts. Needless to say they weren't my friends after that!

People who do this sort of thing are just thoughtless and cruel IMO.

dizzydizzydizzy · 27/12/2025 18:54

I always have a present for you everyone on Christmas Day. IYANBU.

Eenameenadeeka · 27/12/2025 18:55

I think it's awkward that whoever invited you didn't bring one for you

Moonnstarz · 27/12/2025 19:15

Agree that maybe they felt their gift to you was inviting you over and saw your presents to them as your way of thanking them for inviting you.

EchoesOfOurDreams · 27/12/2025 19:51

Moonnstarz · 27/12/2025 19:15

Agree that maybe they felt their gift to you was inviting you over and saw your presents to them as your way of thanking them for inviting you.

Only psychos think like this surely.

Charlenedickens · 27/12/2025 21:52

EchoesOfOurDreams · 27/12/2025 19:51

Only psychos think like this surely.

Show quote history

I don't think so. If this is a family she's known 2 years and they only invited her as she would be alone, then taking them a gift to say thank you is good manners, expect ing they should also buy you a gift is for me entitled a nd too much

Original poster
WilCh · 27/12/2025 21:53

FYI I WAS NOT expecting them to give me a present, I could have just bought a present for the parents of my daughters bf , but I bought presents for their grown up daughters & a boyfriend
as I said I brought some of my own food & my Nosecco
As a widow I woujd have been on my own had I not been invited
it just left me feeling awkward as i said

OP posts:
Original poster
WilCh · 27/12/2025 21:56

Charlenedickens · 27/12/2025 21:52

I don't think so. If this is a family she's known 2 years and they only invited her as she would be alone, then taking them a gift to say thank you is good manners, expect ing they should also buy you a gift is for me entitled a nd too much

Show quote history

I was NOT feeling entitled, but if someone was visiting me over Christmas I would have got them a token gift, the same thing happened last year too,

OP posts:
Latenightreader · 27/12/2025 21:58

A family member went to his nephew on Christmas day. There were lots of other people there including the nephew's sons and his in laws, and a huge gift exchange took place where my relative received nothing and felt like a spare part. This was one of the situations where an adult Secret Santa would be ideal.

TomatoSandwiches · 27/12/2025 22:00

One of my foster carers kept a few random christmas gifts wrapped just incase someone unexpectedly turned up, I do the same, I hate people feeling left out.

Moonnstarz · 27/12/2025 22:02

You didn't make it clear in your post who the family was.
As potential future relatives then yes it would have been nice for them to give you something. Did your own daughter not get you anything either?

ChangingSocks · 27/12/2025 22:03

It was very rude of them
not to think about you. YANBU

milkandblackspiders · 27/12/2025 22:06

We had a complete stranger for christmas dinner and my mum still bought her a gift! It's just a nice thing to do.
(She was a friend of my brother's girlfriend and was otherwise going to be alone)

LongBreath · 27/12/2025 22:08

WilCh · 27/12/2025 21:53

FYI I WAS NOT expecting them to give me a present, I could have just bought a present for the parents of my daughters bf , but I bought presents for their grown up daughters & a boyfriend
as I said I brought some of my own food & my Nosecco
As a widow I woujd have been on my own had I not been invited
it just left me feeling awkward as i said

So if you weren’t expecting them to give you a present, why are you posting on here about being left out?

Left · 27/12/2025 22:09

If the same thing happened last year, why do you expect different this year? (Not meaning that to sound abrupt - just wondering)

TappyGilmore · 27/12/2025 22:12

YANBU. I would have got you something, it would have only been a small token like a box of chocolates and it would have been on gift from the whole family rather than one from each person, but yes I would have thought it was just the done thing.

CoffeeInTheClouds · 27/12/2025 22:14

It sounds awkward for you.
We always have an extra guest or two on Christmas day, and I always make sure they have a gift. I will also let our extended family know who will be there, so they can bring an extra gift if they want to.

2Rebecca · 27/12/2025 22:15

If they aren’t normally exchanging gifts with you then they presumably felt that you being invited was their gift to you where as they normally exchange gifts with each other so didn’t think to add in someone else they don’t know. Can’t you enjoy yourself without getting presents?

Original poster
WilCh · 27/12/2025 22:15

I was just posting my thoughts but I don’t understand why some of the replies are insinuating that I expected a gift when all I was trying to say was I felt awkward and I wondered if they disliked me , they are my daughters bf parents, & I just hope that it wasn’t a show of dislike that’s all

OP posts:
fatphalange · 27/12/2025 22:20

If they weren’t going to give you a present, surely they could’ve done their gifts before you went round for dinner. I don’t know how anyone can sit and watch someone be left out like that.

Ohnobackagain · 27/12/2025 22:27

@WilCh you did say they did this last year as well right?

Original poster
WilCh · 27/12/2025 22:34

It’s my daughters bf parents we had gone there laden with gifts, I bought gifts for ALL the family, they have known me for at least 5 years
this was all done before dinner when his sister & bf came over
I just felt a bit daft tbh , & NOT entitled
I did t want to go into great details but there you go

OP posts:
Original poster
WilCh · 27/12/2025 22:35

You’re completely missing the point

OP posts:
Original poster
WilCh · 27/12/2025 22:38

They DO know me & we have met numerous times

OP posts: