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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think no one can define living as a woman

306 replies

funtimess · 27/12/2025 15:34

if you are a biological man.

Or indeed define living as a man if they are a biological woman.

What is the definition, how do you define a person ‘living" as the opposite sex?

AIBU to think that nobody is going to be able to define this unless they resort to regressive stereotypes.

YABU - I can define this for you without using regressive stereotypes.
YANBU - You are right, you can’t define this without using regressive stereotypes.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:44

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:31

The live as a woman thing is only in the context of the NHS requirement in order to get the treatment. If you have to satisfy that requirement, the easiest and most obvious way to do it is to adopt a traditionally feminine presentation. I don’t think this says anything at all about real women. I don’t think it’s that deep.

It IS that deep.

Because those male people then demand and sometimes succeed in accessing female single sex provisions. This has the potential to cause harm to female people.

Plus it is a form of discrimination against other male people who don’t get access to those same provisions. It is one group of male people being able to access additional provisions where no other group gets additional provisions in this way.

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:48

TheKeatingFive · 28/12/2025 16:42

And it shows what absolute bloody nonsense all of this is.

Why? It seems like a good idea to live as a woman before doing anything irrevocable to their health.

Shedmistress · 28/12/2025 16:49

If you are in the kitchen doing the washing up then you are a woman.

If you are in the bedroom wearing the rubber gloves then you are a bloke pretending to 'live as a woman'.

Hope that helps babes.

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:49

Chersfrozenface · 28/12/2025 16:14

Sexual Offences Act 2003

1 Rape
(1)A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a)he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis,
(b)B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c)A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

2 Assault by penetration
(1)A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a)he intentionally penetrates the vagina or anus of another person (B) with a part of his body or anything else,
(b)the penetration is sexual,
(c)B does not consent to the penetration, and
(d)A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

3 Sexual assault
(1)A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a)he intentionally touches another person (B),
(b)the touching is sexual,
(c)B does not consent to the touching, and
(d)A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

So a poster has claimed that posters are lying, yet this is the legal definition.

What claims by this poster should we consider accurate and based on fact?

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:50

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:44

It IS that deep.

Because those male people then demand and sometimes succeed in accessing female single sex provisions. This has the potential to cause harm to female people.

Plus it is a form of discrimination against other male people who don’t get access to those same provisions. It is one group of male people being able to access additional provisions where no other group gets additional provisions in this way.

But I’m talking about the live as a woman requirement to get the treatment.

DallazMajor · 28/12/2025 16:50

I define being a woman as having a cracking pair of tits.

Seriously though I think the whole issue has gone bonkers and I note the biggest issues are from men wanting to be women. Fucking men can’t even stand that they aren’t just allowed to show up as a woman now. They are fucking pathetic.

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:51

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:48

Why? It seems like a good idea to live as a woman before doing anything irrevocable to their health.

Because they are not living as women. Why do female people have to accept that female language is used for a group of men?

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:51

intrepidpanda · 28/12/2025 16:43

Yes this drives me mad. Living as a woman is apparently a dress for every occasion and bad make up.
You never see a transwoman in jeans, tshirt, short hair and no make up (a pretty ordinary female look)

It could be.

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:52

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:51

Because they are not living as women. Why do female people have to accept that female language is used for a group of men?

Perhaps the NHS should change their language around that requirement.

ETA: Sorry, it’s early where I live. The pronouns thing is another discussion - I was just responding to this thread which is about the live as a woman thing.

TheKeatingFive · 28/12/2025 16:53

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:48

Why? It seems like a good idea to live as a woman before doing anything irrevocable to their health.

There is no such thing as living as a woman. What you are describing are men larping around with women's clothes and makeup

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:53

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:50

But I’m talking about the live as a woman requirement to get the treatment.

Yes. I know. I am pointing out the ramifications of exactly what you are referring to.

What bit didn’t you think applied to what you are referring to?

Or did you think that this ‘experience’ had no negative impacts on female people?

intrepidpanda · 28/12/2025 16:54

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:38

No. But it’s such an easy and obvious way to qualify.

Surely they could just take a big pay cut at work for the same job (thought not)

TheKeatingFive · 28/12/2025 16:55

intrepidpanda · 28/12/2025 16:54

Surely they could just take a big pay cut at work for the same job (thought not)

Well, quite.

Or take on extra caring responsibilities? 🤔

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:55

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:52

Perhaps the NHS should change their language around that requirement.

ETA: Sorry, it’s early where I live. The pronouns thing is another discussion - I was just responding to this thread which is about the live as a woman thing.

Edited

I have already agreed with you on this.

But think about it, what would they change the language to that would be acceptable to the group of men who demand to be treated as if they are no longer male and are female?

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:55

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:53

Yes. I know. I am pointing out the ramifications of exactly what you are referring to.

What bit didn’t you think applied to what you are referring to?

Or did you think that this ‘experience’ had no negative impacts on female people?

Well, the ramifications are a whole other discussion.

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:57

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:55

Well, the ramifications are a whole other discussion.

Edited

The ramifications are directly part of this discussion on this very thread.

spannasaurus · 28/12/2025 16:57

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:48

Why? It seems like a good idea to live as a woman before doing anything irrevocable to their health.

The NHS don't require people to have lived as the opposite sex before starting hormone treatment . The effects of large doses of testosterone on women are not entirely reversible.

FuckRealityBringMeABook · 28/12/2025 16:57

thebrollachan · 27/12/2025 15:57

Maybe changing from Dr John Smith to Dr Joan Smith would be enough. Or switch from Dr to Miss on documents without a sex marker (passports and driving licences have a sex marker).

Ironically, Joan is a boy's name in some parts of Europe

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:58

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:55

I have already agreed with you on this.

But think about it, what would they change the language to that would be acceptable to the group of men who demand to be treated as if they are no longer male and are female?

It would be a challenge to find language that everyone agreed on, for sure.

ThatBlackCat · 28/12/2025 16:58

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 16:48

Why? It seems like a good idea to live as a woman before doing anything irrevocable to their health.

A woman is an adult human female. A male can no more 'live as a female' than a white person can live as an African American. Unless you're Rachel Dolezal.

Anyone here familiar with Rachel Dolezal? The snow white woman who 'identifies' as an African American woman who blacked her face, wears an afro wig and managed to infiltrate her way into getting a position with the NAACP?

If you believe in 'transgender', you must also by default and by definition believe in transracial. You either believe in both, or none at all. If you are transracialphobic or use 'anti transracial rhetoric' but ok with transgender, then you're a hypocrite.

And then there is trans age. The male who claims he identifies as a 6 year old girl. Congratulations. That is what championing transgender has led to.

to think no one can define living as a woman
to think no one can define living as a woman
FuckRealityBringMeABook · 28/12/2025 17:08

funtimess · 27/12/2025 17:15

I honestly can’t think of anything else where legal documents can be falsified.

Birth certs for adopted children are amended in what some would see as a similar way. I would not say they are falsified.

Talkinpeace · 28/12/2025 17:08

THere is no requirement for ANY phyiscal modification
surgery or drugs
to get a GRC in the UK

Falsification of documents such as passports, driving licences and birth certificates
should be a crime
not government policy

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 17:12

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 16:27

Errr. What is a hypothesis?

Is it hypothetical that female people are being told that “male people are being included and the female people there are being told that those male people are women”?

No. This has been documented as happening. Have you missed it? Maybe read the thread that I linked and check out the background. Happy to post a link to the background if you cannot find it for yourself.

Is “the fact that female people need single sex provisions and that not one male above about 8 years old should be included”, hypothesis?

No. There is overwhelming self published content available of women making just that point clear.

What part is hypothesis and not fact that I posted? I look forward to the clarification.

You don't speak for all women”.

No. I don’t and have said that I have. Besides which, that is also not how consent works. It only takes one female person to not consent to having a male person in a group or accommodation that a male person is present for that female person’s consent to have been ignored.

Surely, if you work in the sector you understand consent?

In the same way that just because Donald Trump says something a million times, it doesn't mean that it's the truth.

This is an irrelevant comparison and says more about you than any woman in this thread. Who the fuck cares about what Trump says? Why is this relevant?

Talking of which, some men are vile, I accept this, but that doesn't mean every trans woman is a danger.”

Gosh…. Imagine that. Not all male people are a danger? No shit Sherlock.

Not all male people are a danger, yet strong safeguarding principles for publicly accessed provisions are based on excluding all male people as the starting basis. Have you got any evidence that the sub group of male people you refer to have the same risk or lower than female people in the UK of harming female people?

Yes? Please post it. No? Then that sub group of male people should be treated the same as every other male person in the UK.

”You can't go from the particular to the universal”

That is where safeguarding for publicly accessed provisions starts. All male people being treated the same.

otherwise you're back in Trump land.”

You seem preoccupied with Trump. Why?

Apologies.

I don’t and have said that I have.

should be

I don’t and have not said that I have.

TheKeatingFive · 28/12/2025 17:12

FuckRealityBringMeABook · 28/12/2025 17:08

Birth certs for adopted children are amended in what some would see as a similar way. I would not say they are falsified.

I don't see that as similar. They reflect complex situation.

In this case, sex markers on legal documents are being blatantly falsified, in a way that everyone knows is complete fiction.

Helleofabore · 28/12/2025 17:24

There is a segment in this compilation below that shows men using the ‘I dress like a woman so I should be treated like a woman’ approach.

Maybe seeing it in action will be enlightening to some readers.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/HGbKy8yf0yk

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