Had family over today, and all the little ones were poorly

[brilliantjustbrilliant]

We had five under fives in the house today.

They were all under the weather - streaming noses, coughs, sneezing, temperatures. All brushed off by the parents as teething or just a virus. They were all timing the calpol doses so that the kids were on fine form at the start of the day but it soon descended into them all being clearly unwell, by which point all the parents had started to have a drink and therefore had to wait for the taxis. I volunteered to take them all home in pairs but they all said no, because the kids were “fine”.

argh I’m so angry. That’s the rest of this year and the start of next written off with another bug.

Sounds like 2026 is your year to introduce healthy habits, and not just a kiwi after interacting with sick children.

Then why did you invite a load of kids into your house? Surely you must realise kids are germy?

No need for the sarcasm. I have always been this way.

Because I didn’t realise they’d be so unwell that they’re being dosed up on calpil’

There’s a difference to going out and about with colds and being a guest inside someone’s house.

OP - try and get lots of rest and sleep. Like others have said First Defence is good.

I don't agree, I think its always been good manners not to go to a social event if you have a communicable illness...it isn't a necessary event..so politeness would suggest you give your apologies.

Nothing to do with covid...colds and flu spread easily and are unpleasant.
There is no loss of education or other social good if (short term) sick people (who can share that illness) stay away from social events.

Taking a child with a temp to someone else’s house is so selfish. My son has a cough or cold all the time so I would still take him to people’s houses unless it was to someone who was vulnerable.
Good luck OP!

I agree OP, that it’s selfish. My friend brought her kids to stay in our house a few years back and she and her eldest were really unwell - fever and coughing. They had had the option to stay where they were as their previous hosts had the virus too. But no. They came to us anyway as they didn’t want to spoil their holiday. DP and my eldest both caught it. DS1 ended up on antibiotics and DP was in hospital for a fortnight with Atrial Fibrillation and pericarditis brought on by the virus. So anything that involves a fever, we just tell people to stay away.

I think it’s the fact they packed the calpol for me. For me it’s the same rules as I have for myself - if I can get through the day feeling okay without medication I’d probably go out. But if you need medicine just to bring a fever under control you shouldn’t be out and about.

I never understood this mentality. If my kids are unwell - they wouldn’t have gone to nursery, we wouldn’t socialise. If it’s borderline we check with people we were meeting how they feel about it and sure enough at least one of us wouldn’t drink if they went downhill and we actually went out - it’s just basic adulting to me. But in my childhood if you ended up needing antibiotics you’d be off from school for the period of taking them and than as long to recover fully- and by extension all illnesses you fully recovered from first - not be chucked outside as soon as physically possible.
OP - add onions and proper honey to your shopping list, also black currant juice. Fingers crossed it’ll pass you by after all.:)

Absolutely no sarcasm. Get yourself into a place where you don’t fear minor illness - high protein, healthy fats, hydrated, good range of micro nutrients.

i’m not fearful. I’m just aware that due to other health issues this will knock me back.

So don't invite them next year? Problem solved. Can't think what else you can suggest given little children get sick constantly.

So don't invite them next year? Problem solved. Can't think what else you can suggest given little children get sick constantly.

Even with a mild cold, I always give a heads up. Most of the time the host is absolutely fine, especially if they have children, they understand it’s quite unavoidable this time of year. Still, it’s courtesy just to say. Anything more sinister, absolutely not! Quite a tricky situation for you too, OP. It’s hard when they are already in your house.

I think that’s what’s annoyed me. They clearly knew they were poorly, they came armed with tablets and calpol. That’s not just a minor cold that’s gone downhill

The polite thing as a parent in this situation is to warn the host in advance that your children are unwell. This way you are allowing them to control whether or not they take the risk. If the host is fine with hosting anyway, great. If not, they shouldn’t feel under pressure to do so just because there were plans in place. The goalposts have been moved; the agreement was to host a nice party for well guests. To not advise the host in advance shows a huge lack of consideration for them, their health and any plans they might have coming up. We always warn friends and family in advance if we or our child are unwell, or have been unwell in the last 48 hours. Interestingly I think we are seen as a bit odd or over the top for doing this sometimes, but it’s actually also us demonstrating how we would like to be treated. Just because an illness is something that someone can brush off in a day or two, it doesn’t mean it will affect everyone in the same way. I think many people have huge FOMO and maybe find it difficult to accept that plans have to change when children are unwell. Unfortunately that’s the way it goes!

Yanbu.
I have never had a friend or family do anything so selfish.
Their focus was to come to you whatever, to drink.
Awful behaviour.
Awful parenting dragging out unwell children.

OP, would you make yourself a flu bomb?
Look it up.
Usually involves orange, turmeric, ginger, clove, cinnamon, black pepper, bit of cayenne pepper with lemon or apple cider vinegar.
Blitz the lot, add a spoon to a cup, a spoonful of hobey and hot water.
It stops bugs in its tracts.
I always have a jar of mixture in the fridge.
Some people add garlic and red onion too but my kids refuse it if it has those ingredients added.

Bloody hell, poor kids 😢

Colds don't usually need regular dosing up with Calpol.
A child that needs regular paracetamol to get through the day shouldn't really be going to other people's homes unless it's necessary or has been OK'ed by the host.

Yeah this is also a huge part of it. They all looked so sorry for themselves ☹️

My dd has the horrible cold/flu thing, we have spent the last 4 days stuck at home and will probably spend another few days stuck at home. It’s an awful virus, dd hasn’t eaten for days, her temp goes up and down throughout the day and she spends a lot of time led on the sofa.

Taking a child out with a snotty nose is fine but with a high temp and feeling awful? Of course it’s not ok. Poor kids should be at home. No wonder one of them has been sick since getting home, being dragged out whilst feeling unwell is only going to make them feel even more awful.

Hopefully you don’t get it OP, so far me and my other dd have t come down with it.

So if your 4 and 2 yo have something that requires regular dosing with Calpol, you'd be fine taking them to someone else's house w/o asking them and if they showed any surprise you'd think they were being dramatic?

This is not how things are in my circle of friends and within my family.

If my child missed everything everytime they had a cough they’d be house bound between October and March every year

That being said, if a child needs calpol they should absolutely be at home

I am probably these parents. In defence it’s been about 4 weeks of back to back illnesses so I am over it now. We just have to get on and live we can’t stay in forever!