Page 3 | Had family over today, and all the little ones were poorly

brilliantjustbrilliant · 2025-12-26T19:49:29+00:00

We had five under fives in the house today. They were all under the weather - streaming noses, coughs, sneezing, temperatures. All brushed off by the parents as teething or just a virus. They were all timing the calpol doses so that the kids were on fine form at the start of the day but it soon descended into them all being clearly unwell, by which point all the parents had started to have a drink and therefore had to wait for the taxis. I volunteered to take them all home in pairs but they all said no, because the kids were “fine”. argh I’m so angry. That’s the rest of this year and the start of next written off with another bug.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 26/12/2025 20:50

brilliantjustbrilliant · 26/12/2025 20:27

i think there’s a line between a mild cold and actually being really poorly

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My littlest has been swinging between being on top of the world and then super hot and lethargic. Every time he’s over it, he’s back poorly again. Not always cut and dry.

That said - if they knew to bring the calpol- they knew!

Original poster

brilliantjustbrilliant · 26/12/2025 20:50

Strangesally20 · 26/12/2025 20:48

ummm not really, sneezing isn’t typical in the flu it is with a COLD. The point is unless you have a POC viral testing unit in your house you absolutely can not know who is carrying what viruses at any given time. If you plan to have a gathering at your home with 7+ people in the winter when virus levels are high, it is very likely SOMEONE will be carrying something especially 5 young children who as I said get 12-15 viruses a year. It is almost a guarantee that one of them will have something in winter. If it’s going to cause this much anxiety then just done do it?

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I think the thing is there’s a degree of nuance, isn’t there?

Asymptomatic is one thing. A sniffle, a little tickle is fine. Streaming nose, fever, coughing so hard you gag, eyes red and so lethargic all you can do is lie on the sofa is another.

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Original poster

brilliantjustbrilliant · 26/12/2025 20:51

BonneMamanAbricot · 26/12/2025 20:49

I said that that is official school guidance, so it's an indication of how illness is gauged in children. I really don't know why you are getting so wound up over my personal beliefs as all I said is it can be a tough call and explained why.

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THIS IS NOT A SCHOOL!

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TheIceBear · 26/12/2025 20:51

Strangesally20 · 26/12/2025 20:48

ummm not really, sneezing isn’t typical in the flu it is with a COLD. The point is unless you have a POC viral testing unit in your house you absolutely can not know who is carrying what viruses at any given time. If you plan to have a gathering at your home with 7+ people in the winter when virus levels are high, it is very likely SOMEONE will be carrying something especially 5 young children who as I said get 12-15 viruses a year. It is almost a guarantee that one of them will have something in winter. If it’s going to cause this much anxiety then just done do it?

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As someone who has worked in a hospital for many years looking after patients with all manner of colds ,flu and other viruses I can assure you they can and do sneeze. There is no way of knowing what virus someone has unless you swab them when it comes to these respiratory viruses. You do not diagnose what virus they have based on such symptoms. You don’t just go “oh they aren’t sneezing therefore it’s not flu”. I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous

rebus · 26/12/2025 20:54

@brilliantjustbrilliant I sympathize. I know this isn't the point of your post, but do consider nasal lavage (google for data on efficacy) as part of your shop. In addition to reducing symptoms, if you get started early (even before symptoms) you can sometimes pre empt getting ick altogether, or at least reduce the everity and duration of symptoms.

I thought nasal lavage sounded bizarre and woo, tried it when I was desperate and it really does help. Hoping you manage to avoid coming down with anything.

dundermiffling · 26/12/2025 20:55

I'm so sick of this - dodged a party two days before christmas because I happened to run into one of the families who were all just 'getting over the worst of a sickness bug' (still vomiting) but going anyway because they didn't want to miss out on seeing everyone!

Tammygirl12 · 26/12/2025 20:57

If people stayed home when their kids had a snotty nose they would never leave their house.

yabu

I only catch about 10% of the same colds as my kids, they have worse immune systems

JacobsCreamCrackered · 26/12/2025 20:57

If my child was unwell in himself and needing calpol I'd always keep him home (and not drink.) For a bit of snot but otherwise ok, you can't shield them for every cold. So it just depends.

blanket222 · 26/12/2025 20:58

The people saying you’re overreacting are likely the people who wouldn’t have the courtesy to let you know in advance that their children are sick so you can make an informed decision.

They can take their children out to houses and to see people comfortable with the risk of bugs and all enjoy together.

Those that do not mention in advance are gross and selfish. People react differently to colds, viruses, etc. You have NO right at all to assume that other peoples’ tolerance is the same as yours.

Huge sympathy to OP as now you have to worry and wait and see. I am immunocompromised and have been reduced to hospital stays twice in the last 3 months having caught something from two different toddlers. The parents are now people I think much less of as they had every opportunity to communicate with me - someone they knew was compromised.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/12/2025 20:59

I’m in two minds.

It doesn’t seem very kind to the kids to drag them out when unwell, for one thing.

It’s also unfair to you if you’ve got a compromised immune system - they should at least mention it first. You might not get it though - sometimes a person just doesn’t, it’s not as predictable or certain as that.

On the other hand, I’m sure that back in the day people did just press on with Christmas plans whether or not the children were unwell. We didn’t all quarantine.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 26/12/2025 20:59

I think they’re very selfish. If they had calpol on them then they knew they were poorly. And a room of them in the winter is increasing the germs! It’s also very rude for the parents to be drinking so much the need a taxi and can’t drive. If I was unsure about my kid being unwell I’d make sure one of us could drive.

if they’re obviously unwell - by this I mean snotty/sneezing and temp - of course I wouldn’t take them.

some people just don’t care.

Helpwithdivorce · 26/12/2025 20:59

So every single child that visited your house today was really poorly. All of them? Every one? Behave

So much drama. I have kids. I haven’t had a cold in well over 6 months

cramptramp · 26/12/2025 21:01

You don’t know you’re going to catch it. What an overreaction fgs.

Strangesally20 · 26/12/2025 21:01

TheIceBear · 26/12/2025 20:51

As someone who has worked in a hospital for many years looking after patients with all manner of colds ,flu and other viruses I can assure you they can and do sneeze. There is no way of knowing what virus someone has unless you swab them when it comes to these respiratory viruses. You do not diagnose what virus they have based on such symptoms. You don’t just go “oh they aren’t sneezing therefore it’s not flu”. I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous

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I agree which is why I said unless you have a POC virus testing unit you can’t know. Which is why it it makes no sense to be ok with just a sniffle but not coughing, severity of symptoms does not relate to transmissibility of the virus. People can be asymptomatic carriers and spread viruses. Which is why I said if you are going to have this level of anxiety over viruses in the winter then probably not a good idea to host a gathering with lots of small children in your home because you can almost guarantee one or more of them will be carrying something. And sneezing CAN happen in flu but it is much more likely to be a cold. Otherwise is everyone just expected to self isolate every time they get the sniffles? Because that “could” be flu? Children would never be at school, work places couldn’t function, we as a society would get sicker not healthier.

Homegrownberries · 26/12/2025 21:02

"Just" a virus is such a ridiculous thing to say. As if a virus is nothing.

TheIceBear · 26/12/2025 21:06

Strangesally20 · 26/12/2025 21:01

I agree which is why I said unless you have a POC virus testing unit you can’t know. Which is why it it makes no sense to be ok with just a sniffle but not coughing, severity of symptoms does not relate to transmissibility of the virus. People can be asymptomatic carriers and spread viruses. Which is why I said if you are going to have this level of anxiety over viruses in the winter then probably not a good idea to host a gathering with lots of small children in your home because you can almost guarantee one or more of them will be carrying something. And sneezing CAN happen in flu but it is much more likely to be a cold. Otherwise is everyone just expected to self isolate every time they get the sniffles? Because that “could” be flu? Children would never be at school, work places couldn’t function, we as a society would get sicker not healthier.

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If a child is miserable with temperatures and lethargic they aren’t well enough for school and they shouldn't be going out exposing people either. I’m well aware of the amount of colds and bugs kids get. I still wouldn’t dream of bringing them all out to someone’s house when they are that miserable.

SailingYachty · 26/12/2025 21:06

Initially I disagreed with you, under 5s are constantly poorly over winter, it’s one thing after another and if you stayed in everytime they had a cold you’d never go out at all.

However, if they were so poorly they weren’t running around and now one has been sick I agree with you, that’s a step too far and they were selfish bringing them over.

CoraApple · 26/12/2025 21:07

Kids get colds all the time, they need to in order to build their immune systems. What they don’t need to do, is spread all these illnesses to unsuspecting adults who don’t have to live with germy kids. A slight sniffle, fine. A cough/sneeze, mention in advance in case a reschedule is more appropriate. A temp? Stay at home.

3isthemagicnumber3 · 26/12/2025 21:09

It’s annoying but you are dramatic… ‘my heart breaks for them’ 🙄 ‘so far from a cold’. Calm down u might not even catch it, even if you
do it’s not that massive.

Original poster

brilliantjustbrilliant · 26/12/2025 21:12

3isthemagicnumber3 · 26/12/2025 21:09

It’s annoying but you are dramatic… ‘my heart breaks for them’ 🙄 ‘so far from a cold’. Calm down u might not even catch it, even if you
do it’s not that massive.

Some people feel this thing called empathy. These kids clearly felt like crap and didn’t want to be there. It was a really sad sight.

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RubyFlax · 26/12/2025 21:14

I don’t have kids, but witness this a lot with my friends who do. I hate it, but honestly I don’t think they even give it a second thought… if they stopped doing things because their kids were ill they’d never do anything so they just crack on, as do most of their other friends with kids, which is how the merry-go-round continues &
everything spreads so easily. To them it’s just part and parcel of life since they had kids so they forget that for us without young kids that having a new virus in the house every other week isn’t normal!

I’ve just become really antisocial around Christmas & selective about who I spend time with. We work hard and really value our time off at Christmas, and i’m not jeopardising that if I can help it. Thankfully we don’t have any young kids in either mine or my husbands family, so it’s usually
not an issue when seeing relatives!!

gamerchick · 26/12/2025 21:14

Legomania · 26/12/2025 19:58

So much melodrama on MN at the moment about kids' colds!

My children are always coming down with stuff that I don't catch - that's kids for you; their immune systems aren't fully developed.

Yea but you dont take them to other people's houses with it.

WhatILoved · 26/12/2025 21:15

Really feel for you. You are right there’s definitely a difference between a slight cold and needing calpol to last the day. Parents were selfish. As a childminder I’ve seen a surge in parents never allowing their toddlers to rest and get over illnesses properly.

AllTheChaos · 26/12/2025 21:17

brilliantjustbrilliant · 26/12/2025 20:05

That’ll be going on the shopping, plus a ton of oranges!

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Also kiwi fruit (super high vit C) and fish oil capsules, both great for the immune system! (Mine is compromised so I do everything I can to give it a better chance). Second the ‘first defence’ suggestion from a pp

gamerchick · 26/12/2025 21:18

Properly wild that people are going on about school guidance spot the selfish buggers.

I'm.sorry OP. Get the Vicks first defense and hope it's just a cold. It should see it off at the start. Sadly only works on colds. Good luck.