Had family over today, and all the little ones were poorly

[brilliantjustbrilliant]

We had five under fives in the house today.

They were all under the weather - streaming noses, coughs, sneezing, temperatures. All brushed off by the parents as teething or just a virus. They were all timing the calpol doses so that the kids were on fine form at the start of the day but it soon descended into them all being clearly unwell, by which point all the parents had started to have a drink and therefore had to wait for the taxis. I volunteered to take them all home in pairs but they all said no, because the kids were “fine”.

argh I’m so angry. That’s the rest of this year and the start of next written off with another bug.

Accidentally clicked yabu

Yanbu parents of sick children are ultra selfish

I knew from the second they tucked into the wine as soon as they arrived that there was an issue. So, so annoyed. Time for an emergency online shop to get some bits in so I can just rot at home.

I find parents do this a lot. My Friend often says “don’t worry, she’s not ill, it’s allergies” and then it turns out to be a virus after all.
I don’t know why parents do this. It’s extremely selfish.

It’s selfish of them but there’s no guarantee you’re going to get sick, nor that it’ll go on for two weeks. You’re being a bit dramatic there.

So much melodrama on MN at the moment about kids' colds!

My children are always coming down with stuff that I don't catch - that's kids for you; their immune systems aren't fully developed.

I’ve been here before, sadly. I have some health stuff going on and these sort of viruses do seem to wipe me out for a long time. I have a doctors appointment on Monday about it but it’s still so frustrating.

They would have been at school if not on holiday just saying. School expect them in.

Sure they do come down with stuff a lot. But when your child is coughing and sneezing everywhere, nose streaming and eyes all puffed up, plus so lethargic all they can do is lie on the sofa, it’s not fair to go out socialising. Just as much for them, as everyone you’re with.

If the DC are young enough to be teething, then hopefully they are working their way through a lot of bugs and viruses that you've already had and are immune to.

I have quite a robust immune system. DH and DS2 have been coughing and complaining of sore throats for over a week now - DS1 and I are fine and haven't caught anything from them, despite sharing rooms/beds/gaming controllers 😆

Fingers crossed you will be fine. I think if parents with young DC stayed at home every time they had a cold, they would never leave the house!

*Unless you have a weakened immune system for some reason, in which case they should have stayed well away

Ther parents should have told you as soon as they were aware and given you the option to cancel or go ahead. Sounds like the kids would have been more comfortable at home though. YANBU OP.

My home isn’t a school, nor is it somewhere with attendance policies.

I've just been sick for three weeks from some kid's lurgy

I recommend Vicks first defence (or similar)
for when you’ve been exposed to snotty people. It says to use at the first sign of a sniffle, but I use it before the first sign, when I’ve been around people who are coughing and sneezing, or even when out in crowded places at this time of year, because I live with immunocompromised people
It’s great :)

Right but they would be out and around if not on holiday. Not sure why parents should think twice.

That’ll be going on the shopping, plus a ton of oranges!

Because they should have enough love and respect for their family to not bring their snotty, poorly children into a house to spread their germs? When it was suggested that we open a window to allow better airflow, they said no because the kids would get cold and it would make them poorly!

According to the group chat one of them has just been sick. Brilliant, I cannot get my head around why people need to be so selfish!

No it is selfish especially if they need calpol. A lingering cough or a well child with a slight runny nose is different. If the kids are unwell enough to need calpol and are miserable they shouldn’t be in school either. They should have warned in advance and let you cancel. The thing is you just never know who could be at the house who is vulnerable, pregnant etc. I just find people who are blasé about these things quite self centred.

Mild coughs and colds are fine.

Temperatures should be at home. Mine always felt really ill with temperatures.

Yeah if it was just a mild cold it’s one thing. But this was so far from a cold. My heart broke for them really, they obviously wanted to be at home

As you have no idea if you will get a cold, I suspect you will be using this as an excuse to hide away and hibernate. Fair enough, I can see it being tempting but you can be honest here 😁

No I actually had a lot of plans next week. But these weren’t just kids with a slight sniffle. These were really poorly kids.

Agree not only is it selfish towards you but it’s also selfish towards the poor little ones who would be much better off at home.

Tough one. If everyone stayed home when their kids had a cold, nothing would happen. Parents are used to kids having bugs and many wouldn't think to miss a big event like Christmas over it. But obviously no one wants to catch a virus or be exposed to germs either.

ETA as a parent I have also sometimes felt pressured to come to things despite my kids being ill. I've gotten a lot of 'oh, not again, just bring them,' as if it's us being flaky, rather than my kids being ill. They get ill a lot and get better/worse quickly so sometimes it is a difficult judgment call.

i think there’s a line between a mild cold and actually being really poorly