Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

[confusedgoldilocks]

I love christmas, and I love christmas presents, I got my best friend a lovely calendar showing photos that were precious to me throughout the year of all the good times we have shared, in return, and this is so strange, I got two bookends, which have obviously been handmade, but look like my face, but in a grotesque punch and judy way, I'm not sure whether they are supposed to look so scary, but they are hideous, I actually had nightmares about them last night, and on top of that, a smaller 3D figurine which is basically me looking like a drag queen in hideous blonde hair and a massive red bow, they obviously took a long time and I get that, but I wonder what they are trying to tell me, they have sent me a message asking what I think of them and I really don't know what to say, to be honest, Im quite upset they see me that way. Im just a normal person who loves christmas, I was hoping for tickets to see a christmas carol or something like that.

Perhaps they were going to get you theatre tickets but after the expensive meal they paid for they thought that was enough.

The figurine is odd

Not to derail but a dish of olives and antipasti is £4.95 at the loveliest local restaurant here. But then I am in a place where almost anyone with any sense can recognise a curse object. And dispose of it.

This is absolutely awful and bullying of you at a distance, your support network and family uniting in ridiculing you and having the video forever.

Can you talk to any of your family or friends about the bullying? The video and your reaction needs to be deleted.

I would send the following to your brother and friends:
I am deeply upset and humiliated at presents sent they have made me confused, anxious, upset and scared. If that was their aim - they succeeded. Undoubtedly this was also the aim of videoed and sending my reaction despite me begging those involved not to do. My humiliation in 2025 is complete - whatever I did to deserve this for this mammoth personal cruelty I can only apologise as I would never wish current feeling I have over this entire horrid episode to ever be felt by another human being. I’m not emotional or sensitive and the cruelty displayed by everyone and my ridicule, embarrassment and the endless mirth caused to all of you, I believe reflects on you. Your lack of empathy, your planning and execution was complete. I wish you all the best in 2026 but it won’t be with ‘family’ and ‘friends’ like you at my side.

please go NC with the lot of them and my God I feel your pain - I shouldn’t be saying ‘get therapy’ ‘get counselling as you did not cause this - they all did and truth be told they are are the ones that need it. But you need counselling to form a plan to go NC, to make good positive new friendships both within your family and out of it - for example no way my husband would film me and send a video of my distressed reaction to others - if he didn’t know what was happening he might have filmed it and then deleted it wrapped me up and then he himself go with the people that asked him to film it but he would never of sent it.

So I actually feel you have been putting up with abuse on different levels for years and 2026 is the year to draw a line on the sand. Never ever contact those ex friends again - block on everything 2026 and going NC is hard but you deserve better friends and there are plenty of decent friends out there waiting to meet you!!

😂😂 maybe they did buy you tickets to see a Christmas carol and then when you couldn’t pay the bill for the meal after encouraging them to have whatever they wanted they decided not to give you the tickets and give you them instead.

A conversation and a request for a bank transfer after or an offer from the OP - I’m guessing they offered to bank transfer the money at the time eg OP said - oh shit, can I transfer money when I get paid or home? OP did you offer to pay / sort the money back especially if it was hundreds for the meal?

Can you explain how this happened with the meal out? How did you not have enough money on the night? I’m really curious about this and would love to know the chain of events.

Look on the bright side, it would be worse if you actually did look like that.

Op - I would put those 3 monstrosities on your friends doorstep or dump them in the bin - and ignore her

OP I suspect that you won’t come back to the thread - and I don’t blame you.
I’m sorry you are so upset.
It seems to me that you need to pay them back for the meal - however you afford it. And then be done with these friends.
It’s cruel IF they intended to hurt you. If the way you describe things are accurate then it seems as if that joke was set up well before the meal.
For your sake pay the £300 and forget you ever knew them.
You made a stupid mistake in trying to pay for dinner that backfired dramatically in them paying- lesson learned.
I don’t think you are a cheeky fucker - I think you got carried away and didn’t think through the costs.
I think you probably also didn’t think about what the cost of tickets to A Christmas Carol would be and I think you value your friendship so much that you perceived the calendar as a very personal and thoughtful gift, not a cheap or weird gift.
I hope you find friends who understand you and don’t mock you, in the future, because this is not a true friendship from the other person.
If the meal panned out as it did because you want to be more like them .. don’t be. You are okay as you are.

This cannot be a real thread!

I think I'm inclined to agree, tbh.

The book end looks awful and the way they wanted you to open it and be recorded so everyone could laugh at you is particularly cruel

Pay them for the meal they bought you, then significantly step back from this 'friendship'

I was thinking of someone with a new 3D printer as well

You’re massively overreacting and putting two and two together to make five. Calm the fuck down.

Also why the hell did you expect tickets to a show when they paid £300 for a meal and you bought them a calendar?

If it was my best friend, I'd find it absolutely hilarious and they'd have pride of place on my shelving unit.

Having said that, this whole thread is bonkers. You said you were enjoying your role as the host at the restaurant but you didn't even have the money to pay for it, so how much was it, versus what you thought and why did you think it was a good idea to offer to pay?

This whole thing is so bizarre. What weird presents. What a weird way to behave. Weird that you were filmed and it’s been shown to people at their gathering, presumably who don’t know you? If you don’t look like that I’d just assume they’re not of you and send them to the charity shop/bin.

Goes with your username!

We don't know the time scale between meal and gift but I agree that this seems a lot of effort, and expense to go to to play a cruel joke.
On the other hand filming and laughing at you is unforgivable.
How could your brother be so unkind?

Why didn't you split the cost of the meal between cards? Honestly, this all sounds ridiculous. What would have happened if your friends couldn't have covered the cost of the meal? You NEVER offer to pay for something without making sure you have more than enough to cover the cost. And you then expected expensive show tickets when all you had given as a gift was a calendar?

I would have laughed at the gifts, I really don't believe your friend was trying to insult you.

The bust is surely Joan Crawford in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane. I don't know why that would be gifted to you but that's who it is.

We need to see the bookends, or they don’t exist. I bet they’re not even that bad.

More like the Bette Davis character I think

Agree!

Why did you offer to pay if you didn’t have any money?

You need to pay the £300 restaurant bill, without a shadow of a doubt. You encouraged your friends to eat/drink what they liked, because you were paying the bill, but then couldn't after several cards were declined. Your friend then had to foot the bill. I appreciate you offered at the time to pay her back and she refused, but common sense should have told you to pay your friend back, regardless of her protests. You were expecting theatre tickets from your friend as a Christmas present, yet she'd unexpectedly forked out £300 on a restaurant bill, you were meant to have originally paid for. Why on earth did you think she'd be buying you theatre tickets???!! Common sense should have told you, that it was highly unlikely, given the £300 she'd already paid!! I think making the bookends and figurine to purely humiliate you for not paying her back, is an awful lot of trouble to go too. If she wanted you to pay her back, then why didn't she simply ask?! It would have been much easier. I think the figurine is awful and I wouldn't want it either, so I dread to think what the bookends are like. The video being taken and your friend showing it to relatives, so they can have a good laugh, at your horrified face as you opened the present, was rather cruel and insensitive. Personally, I'd pay the £300 back, and step back from the friendship. You need to speak to your brother too, because he sent the video after you asked him not to.

Yes! I mix them up, no idea why.