Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

[confusedgoldilocks]

I love christmas, and I love christmas presents, I got my best friend a lovely calendar showing photos that were precious to me throughout the year of all the good times we have shared, in return, and this is so strange, I got two bookends, which have obviously been handmade, but look like my face, but in a grotesque punch and judy way, I'm not sure whether they are supposed to look so scary, but they are hideous, I actually had nightmares about them last night, and on top of that, a smaller 3D figurine which is basically me looking like a drag queen in hideous blonde hair and a massive red bow, they obviously took a long time and I get that, but I wonder what they are trying to tell me, they have sent me a message asking what I think of them and I really don't know what to say, to be honest, Im quite upset they see me that way. Im just a normal person who loves christmas, I was hoping for tickets to see a christmas carol or something like that.

I meant too late!

It’s hideous and shit. Bin it right away!!!

This! But I’d be done with them after refunding them. And yes you should cover the full bloody bill cos ordering you took them out saying it would be paid for by you! Did you even cover your own half? You both sound like arseholes

Maybe this is covered earlier in this thread but if the dinner took place just before Christmas (which OP says it did), how would the friend have had enough time to have those bookends specially made in time, assuming that they are personalised? Unless they know someone who can make bookends very quickly. Most personalised mail order stuff like this takes quite a while to produce and deliver, in my experience.

@confusedgoldilocks I'm trying to understand the dynamic between you and your friend. How old are you/ they? What gender are they? How do you know them?

This seems like a highly specific set of circumstances so I'm trying to imagine myself into your life to understand what is going on.

That’s not the bookend, it’s the separate figurine.

Can we see the bookends too OP?

You look lovely! Like a pamtomine character😂

but then my card got declined, well, I say my card, I ended up trying a few, as you do

As you do?

Tbh, I've never invited friends put for dinner, offered to pay, had a card decline and then tried several more, which were also declined and had to ask my guests to pay. All while hoping for theatre tickets whilst gifting them a calendar.

And, if I had, I'd have asked for their bank details to transfer the money immediately.

You sound like a liability - inviting them to choose what they wanted without checking either the prices or ensuring you had the means to pay.

It's sounds like something from Tales of the Unexpected.

They obviously think you do😂

Yep- people in London often forget that many restaurants there are pretty good value for money.

they’ve got a much higher footfall, and lots of competition, so prices are tend to be lower

not the point of the thread sorry…

If you genuinely intended to pay for the meal you would have:

1. Checked the restaurant prices beforehand to ensure you could afford to pay.
2. Made sure that you had the means to pay on your card/cards or taken cash with you.
3. If all else failed, reimbursed your former friends by bank transfer or paypal ASAP?

By the way, why were ALL your cards declined?

It's the proverbial "I've left my wallet at home" excuse.
My SIL is very accomplished at this modus operandi.
She's a CF too like you!

Perhaps they were mentioning the Xmas Carol tickets as a big hint for you to get for all of them, particularly after the mess up with the dinner? Why didn’t you offer to transfer the funds straight after? I would be livid if I was offered to be taken out for dinner and then had to foot the entire bill so I’m surprised you got anything!

The filming of the opening of the presents does sound like they knew what they were doing though.

Here’s my take…

the meal is a red herring. The bookends / statue were probably ordered weeks ago.

you both have form for buying ‘homemade’ and personalised gifts.

you made a calendar, you friend got a bust made based on your photo.

she was probably as shocked as you when the bust arrived, but thought you find it so ridiculous that it would be funny. Maybe she thought you’d laugh as
much as she did?

I don’t think it’s meant to be an ugly caricature of you- it’s not exaggerated enough. Neither is it very good- it just looks a bit ‘meh’

I've only ever allowed friends to buy me dinner on big birthdays, and only as a group chipping in. I wouldn't dream of sitting stuffing my face on 3 courses (with my husband doing the same) with wine and extras while a lone friend was picking up the tab (regardless of how insistent they were that I should fire in). They were taking the piss.

That said, it's impossible to pick a side, because all involved sound like fuds.

Is it not a group of friends ? I am very confused. The bookend is obviously a man.

😂 I've never heard "fud" outside of one of my favourite sitcoms. Thank you for the much needed giggle 👍🏻

You have behaved appallingly over the meal and need to send them the money asap.

Have the bookends definitely been made in your image or have you assumed they are in your image because you are insecure about your looks?

This reminds me of those brilliant caricature
portraits you can sometimes get. Do you think you are reading too much into it? She must have gone to a lot of trouble (and cost) to have those items commissioned - unless she made them herself. She might have been a bit surprised by the outcome but there would have been no turning back. I got a present like the Calendar you have and I thought my friend had chosen unflattering photos of me and brilliant ones of her but when I look at it now I just see the effort that went into it. So hang on to them and you might come to like them. Or time will reveal that she really isn’t as close to you as you think. I would keep an open mind though and not jump to conclusions.

Hoping this is creative writing. If not, you owe your friends for the meal. Their gift is irrelevant…you promised them encouraged spending and then didn’t pay ..you need to fix your error

If they are used to cursing people, they or their friends will have the skills.

It is hardly great art or rare materials they've used.

I wouldn’t either (we are the type of family who fights over who gets to pay). But maybe OP was supposedly paying them back for some previous debt/cheeky fuckery? It sounds like it’s turtles all the way down with this one.

I’d accept dinner if, say, somebody had been staying with me for a while for free, or I’d helped them redecorate their house, or I’d rescued their child from a burning building.

Just assume the presents missed the mark and bin them. Don't give them another thought. If the dinner is still bothering you, call them to say you've been too embarrassed to say anything, but it's been bothering you and you'd like to transfer the money for the meal to them. Job done.

I didn't know people still used calendars in this day and age!

The bookends sound fab though.

It looks dragged down and the eyes have no proper irises