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AIBU?

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Original poster

Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

514 replies

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 14:53

I love christmas, and I love christmas presents, I got my best friend a lovely calendar showing photos that were precious to me throughout the year of all the good times we have shared, in return, and this is so strange, I got two bookends, which have obviously been handmade, but look like my face, but in a grotesque punch and judy way, I'm not sure whether they are supposed to look so scary, but they are hideous, I actually had nightmares about them last night, and on top of that, a smaller 3D figurine which is basically me looking like a drag queen in hideous blonde hair and a massive red bow, they obviously took a long time and I get that, but I wonder what they are trying to tell me, they have sent me a message asking what I think of them and I really don't know what to say, to be honest, Im quite upset they see me that way. Im just a normal person who loves christmas, I was hoping for tickets to see a christmas carol or something like that.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
daisychain01 · 26/12/2025 20:28

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 16:17

I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!!!! it looks like a man in drag

If you don't look like the bookend, what are you worried about. You said they made it look like you, but now you're saying it doesn't look anything like you.

so they're not having a go at you by giving you the bookends as a gift surely...

GRCP · 26/12/2025 20:29

OP pleeeeeaaaaassseeeee post a pic of the bookends I beg!!

Katflapkit · 26/12/2025 20:30

UncannyFanny · 26/12/2025 16:26

Anyway whatever happened to Baby Jane? 😳

Best comparison ever

Thedownwardspiralpath · 26/12/2025 20:32

Tigerbalmshark · 26/12/2025 19:18

I wouldn’t either (we are the type of family who fights over who gets to pay). But maybe OP was supposedly paying them back for some previous debt/cheeky fuckery? It sounds like it’s turtles all the way down with this one.

I’d accept dinner if, say, somebody had been staying with me for a while for free, or I’d helped them redecorate their house, or I’d rescued their child from a burning building.

Show quote history

It was supposed to be an early Christmas present, which she never had the money for but enjoyed being the generous host at the time, then still expected the “gift” to be reciprocated with expensive theatre tickets.

I’m not sure the quirky presents are connected and I don’t believe the story about the video.

The whole thing is weird to be honest.

Fangisnotacoward · 26/12/2025 20:35

Reminds me of Cissie from the old Les Dawson "Cissie and Ada" sketches.

Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!
Nifty50something · 26/12/2025 20:39

So what have you decided to do, OP?

GarlicRound · 26/12/2025 20:42

mondaytosunday · 26/12/2025 16:32

Yea I go to the trouble of making bookends and a figurine in my own quirky style just to let you know I think you are… what? Cheap? Mean? Ugly?
Or could It be that your friend loves you but has different taste and thinks these things look great (have to say I think the image looked charming not at all scary)! I think you are reading WAY too much into this. And frankly if someone said they’d take me out to dinner, didn’t in the end so I had to pay, I’m not sure I’d be giving them a present at all!

Well, yeah. If forced to summarise this situation:

  • OP let friends pay £300 for meal SHE had offered & hosted
  • OP failed to repay the £300 meal she hosted at friend's expense.
  • OP expected a £300 Christmas present from the same friend
  • OP gave the friend a £30 gift.
  • Friend gave OP personalised artwork for Christmas
  • OP's outraged that the artwork isn't flattering to her.
I really hope OP's friend sees this thread and reconsiders the number of self-centred twats she needs in her life.
AngryLikeHades · 26/12/2025 20:44

honeyytoast · 26/12/2025 16:11

That is a very strange gift to give I’ll give you that

😝no shit!!!
The book end looks better than I thought it would, but it's still not a looker.
'passive aggressive bookends' what a niche gift... by your description I thought they'd look more like Fagin than they do!!!

AngryLikeHades · 26/12/2025 20:46

The amount of effort to create these obscure bookends is... obscure and somewhat funny.

applebee33 · 26/12/2025 20:47

I hope this is a wind up. Op you sound unhinged and your one cheeky mare to expect anything after landing them with a bill like that. I’d defo presume they did that to get back at your complete cf-ery 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

UxmalFan · 26/12/2025 20:48

OP, you need to insist on paying your friends back for the meal. If they think you don't have the money of course they are going to refuse, but that's not the point. Find it somehow and take it round in cash if they won't give you bank details.
Who knows what their intention was with the book ends? The might have asked for a video because they knew you would be astonished, rather than upset. FWIW I don't think the figure looks like a man in drag, just a poor likeness of a woman with lovely hair, an oval face and full lips.

XWKD · 26/12/2025 20:53

Maybe they're just crap at art. Just look at the ridiculous mess that is often made in wax museums.

You need to give them £300 regardless.

Bigboldfont · 26/12/2025 20:56

OP, are you in fact a transwoman?

XWKD · 26/12/2025 20:57

Look up bad Diana statues.

Moonlightdust · 26/12/2025 21:03

The photo the OP posted is NOT the bookends but the figurine that accompanied them. The bookends resembled grotesque Punch & Judy style characters with a hooked nose, boggly eyes & a goatee and the figure like a man in drag but all appeared to be distorted versions of the OP.

DreamTheMoors · 26/12/2025 21:04

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:17

They do have a partner, and I have met them, we all went out for dinner just before christmas, and it seemed fine, although I think I may have embarrassed them, I offered to pay and we all ordered quite a lot with quite a lot of drink which I encouraged as I was paying, but then my card got declined, well, I say my card, I ended up trying a few, as you do, and in the end my dear friend paid and refused to let me pay, so I thought it was all sorted but maybe they are trying to tell me something, its quite confusing because the book ends really are quite scary versions of me, maybe I should send them the money for the bill, as they refuse to take it in person.

You have a choice, as I see it:
#1
Tell her the truth, that you think her gift was bizarre, was mocking you and you’re not sure why. That you think it might be tied to that one dinner when your card was declined, but you aren’t sure. Ask if she truly is mocking you.

#2
Tell her you ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM and how did she know you’d love something as quirky as these bookends? Then laugh heartily and let it go.

Because it depends on your friendship, I think.

LaddersAndLadders · 26/12/2025 21:18

I love the look of this. I think it's quirky not horrible. The pupils give it a slightly scarier look but slightly softened would make them look so much better. (Edited to remove bookend word)

Stigsmother · 26/12/2025 21:18

I do so hope your friends are on Mumsnet, if by some massive miracle this is true I'm sure they will be along soon to clear the whole debacle up.
PS. pay them back !!!

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 26/12/2025 21:20

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 16:20

because once i sent a photo of me and i had a big red bow in my blonde hair, its based on that photo

If they’re making fun of a photo you sent then it doesn’t sound like they’re good friends.

I don’t understand why you assumed you’d be gifted expensive tickets?

Thalia31 · 26/12/2025 21:22

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:48

its really not funny, how would you like it if your best friend made bookmarks that made you look like a bug eyed witch with a slight goatee, when they had let you to believe they were gifting you christmas carol tickets at the old vic, as I said, i know i messed up with the bill but there is no need to be so personal, its downright hurtful and very cruel

This post and your follow up comments are beyond bizarre. Op are you autistic??

Moonlightdust · 26/12/2025 21:22

LaddersAndLadders · 26/12/2025 21:18

I love the look of this. I think it's quirky not horrible. The pupils give it a slightly scarier look but slightly softened would make them look so much better. (Edited to remove bookend word)

Edited

That is not the bookends - the photo is the smaller figurine which accompanied them which is bad enough but OP stated the bookends were truly grotesque and couldn’t bring herself to post them.

myhaggisblewup · 26/12/2025 21:25

PuppyKeep · 26/12/2025 20:20

We need to see the bookends, or they don’t exist. I bet they’re not even that bad.

Look at OP's posts, photo is there.

Stucknstoopit · 26/12/2025 21:26

Metalplate · 26/12/2025 19:31

This is absolutely awful and bullying of you at a distance, your support network and family uniting in ridiculing you and having the video forever.

Can you talk to any of your family or friends about the bullying? The video and your reaction needs to be deleted.

I would send the following to your brother and friends:
I am deeply upset and humiliated at presents sent they have made me confused, anxious, upset and scared. If that was their aim - they succeeded. Undoubtedly this was also the aim of videoed and sending my reaction despite me begging those involved not to do. My humiliation in 2025 is complete - whatever I did to deserve this for this mammoth personal cruelty I can only apologise as I would never wish current feeling I have over this entire horrid episode to ever be felt by another human being. I’m not emotional or sensitive and the cruelty displayed by everyone and my ridicule, embarrassment and the endless mirth caused to all of you, I believe reflects on you. Your lack of empathy, your planning and execution was complete. I wish you all the best in 2026 but it won’t be with ‘family’ and ‘friends’ like you at my side.

please go NC with the lot of them and my God I feel your pain - I shouldn’t be saying ‘get therapy’ ‘get counselling as you did not cause this - they all did and truth be told they are are the ones that need it. But you need counselling to form a plan to go NC, to make good positive new friendships both within your family and out of it - for example no way my husband would film me and send a video of my distressed reaction to others - if he didn’t know what was happening he might have filmed it and then deleted it wrapped me up and then he himself go with the people that asked him to film it but he would never of sent it.

So I actually feel you have been putting up with abuse on different levels for years and 2026 is the year to draw a line on the sand. Never ever contact those ex friends again - block on everything 2026 and going NC is hard but you deserve better friends and there are plenty of decent friends out there waiting to meet you!!

Edited
Show quote history

@confusedgoldilocks whatever you do please don’t send this message as suggested (below).
if they are bullying and gaslighting you then this message will just add fuel to their fire.
make an effort to pay the money back that you owe for the meal you promised and then if you truly believe they made this things to upset you then you are within your rights to end the friendship.

3luckystars · 26/12/2025 21:51

You could have split the bill over a few cards or at least paid some of it!

Yourlifeinyourhands · 26/12/2025 21:52

This whole thing is weird! You let them pay £300 for a meal without even giving half back, you got them a calendar which would cost you what about £10 and then expected £300 theatre tickets?! Why they sent you those I have no idea but none of it make sense!!

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