AIBU - upset for husband staying at the pub on Boxing Day when we have 2 young children

[Biosblbay]

So today was very last minute, only found out last night we had been invited to go pub (half hour drive away) I didn’t really want to go as I don’t know these people and knew that I would be the one not drinking and driving home so I would find it a little socially awkward being around people I don’t know not having a drink. Also just been a very manic few weeks hosting on several occasions, lots of travelling to see family (both from broken families that don’t live close by). I am just exhausted. Our children are aged 3 and a baby 5 months. So after my husband had a few beers he decided he was going to stay longer. I have got a bit upset by this as I have always thought Boxing Day to be a family day, I explained this to him but he doesn’t seem to care. He had a night out arranged on Sunday which is fine, it’s been planned in advance, but his excuse for staying out today is that he won’t go out Sunday now. But I am more upset but the fact I have had to drive home with the kids, house is a mess, this wasn’t planned and now I am alone with them on Boxing Day without their dad. This has greatly upset me and I would like to know if I am being unreasonable here by being upset by this. Thank you in advance.

quite a lot I know were at football- however that's something that was known and discussed back in the summer!
So even the ones I know who aren't having family says haven't done this.

@Biosblbay when did he come home? And did he stick to what he said about not going out today?

I'd be furious if this happened on a whim, especially with such young children but I know my partner wouldn't do something like that: he wants to spend festive occasions with me and the kids!
I'm so sorry he's treated you this way OP but it also looks like you've taken it as a 'final straw' of his behaviour. I hope, whatever you decide, you find peace in your decision and end up with the happy ending you truly deserve! (Which isn't being abandoned for the pub on Boxing day!)

This type of behaviour rarely improves and I'd bet anything he went out drinking today again. They always do..Bullshit trading one piss up session for another.

I wasted years on an alcoholic lowlife who lived for the pub and being out boozing. He'd always promise to be back at x or y time but by the time he'd had a few all messages/calls would be ignored and he'd roll in in a disgusting state at all hours, if at all. I didn't understand I deserved so much better.

Don't make the same mistake I did.

So he’s been like this since your first born, you’ve had multiple chats and made other posts, he hasn’t changed but you still go on to have a second child with him … and you are still moaning. What on earth did you expect?!?

She can use whatever term she likes about her own family.

This is outrageous behaviour from this manchild. He needs to step up as a husband and father to small children. Party central isn’t your life anymore man.
give him an ultimatum to shape up or ship out.

Hey,
just wanted to say obviously I don’t know your life at all and just going by this post and the fact you mentioned he’s done this a lot before. My husband is an addict, when they have a few drinks the reasoning part of their brain just stops working, staying out after having a few beers because he doesn’t want to stop is normal for people who struggle with alcohol. (not saying your husband does, I don’t know him but mine does and this would be typical behaviour of mine)

Big hugs to you, I’m still with mine for now, keeping the peace at home and trying to get by working ect but as soon as the kids are old enough to not need their dad for childcare I’m out of here.

As i have mentioned before, the majority of men want a relationship but do not want children. So don't be surprised if your partner doesn't step up when you have children!

It's just an accent thing. You wouldn't understand.

Also I'm a "go pub" person. Weird

You mean it's a dialect thing. Accent doesn't change your grammar.

As I've already stated, you wouldn't understand 🙂

What else has he done, because this post on its own doesn’t signal a huge problem, so YABU.
It’s a day / night out from the usual daily grind - he’s letting his hair down and shouldn’t be begrudge for it. You could do the same with your friends at some point.

Unless there’s more, then this shouldn’t be issue. Make it an issue, then you’ll definitely have problems.

You're totally not being unreasonable, he's been selfish at least and needs to grow up!

bearing in mind this thread is from last year, I'm sure she'll be fine

Hopefully?x

Hopefully?xbut she's doing all the responsibilities, I.e the driving the children and feeling lonely

But mate, people stopped talking about this six weeks ago. Look at the date