Neighbours complaining about noisy dc in garden

[Xmasinthegarden]

We got the dc (8 and 5) a lot of presents for the garden (mud kitchen , outdoor toys, football/goals basketball hoop etc) they both have AuDHD and need to let off steam in the fresh air.

They were in the garden 10-1. Then back out again after lunch 230-430.

We had had a text from the neighbours at 115pm saying ‘we have guests today and would appreciate a little less noise from the garden thanks’ which I ignored but when the dc went back out at 230pm we had them knocking and telling us that they have family there and some are quite elderly and want peace and quiet and their niece has a newborn and all the commotion from our garden is very irritating as they are trying to relax in their conservatory. I said that the dc were not being that noisy and they wouldn’t be out there past 430 anyway. They said if this happens again tomorrow they will file a ‘noise complaint’ and may call the police!

The dc were just playing, not screaming or fighting. Just running about. Some ball bouncing yes but nothing terrible. They play out pretty much every day and this hasn’t been an issue before ? The neighbours moved in Feb this year so obviously it’s their first Xmas here but they would have known our dc play out a lot ?

They have text now with a ‘gentle reminder - tomorrow needs to be a calm peaceful day. Thanks for your cooperation’ wtf !!!

AIBU to ignore this ? We are home in the morning them leaving at 1230 to see my parents so if the dc play in the garden it wont be for that long just 2/3 hours in the morning.

It would be very interesting to see the neighbours point of view and their stories, as we only have the OP's, who thinks she's doing nothing wrong, naturally.

@Xmasinthegarden ignore some of the comments on this thread; quite clearly people with no idea of what having a child with ASN/ SEN entails. Of course your garden is preferable, it's tailored to your child's needs and if yours elopes anything like mine then is probably more secure than Fort Knox.

Foam balls sound like a good compromise but again I wouldn't stress about the threats of police/ council. I think they would be laughed at for complaining about children with additional needs making normal noise playing in the garden.

It's probably quite a good opportunity to set boundaries with the new neighbours and make it clear that you will do what is necessary to keep your children regulated.

And we are another family (in Scotland) out everyday in all weathers... My DC with ASN decided that trainers and jacket wasn't useful today and hampered hair trampoline bouncing! 😂🙈 Socks and a jumper and trousers sufficient!! 👍🏻

Some of us do have SEN. We were brought up being taught not to make so much noise that it disturbs others

Having SEN doesn't mean they can do whatever. It's like everyone's forgotten that some of us find loud noise painful

And some might need to understand that some children can't help that they are loud when they stim or play. Safety of my children will always trump convenience for others. I thankfully live in a property where this isn't a concern, but for me, my children come first. Full stop.

I do! You can't lock kids up so that they can pretend they live in a detached cottage in the middle of no where. CFs.

No one is saying that. But there's a middle ground between constant screaming, banging basketballs, etc and total silence

If you live in and amongst people you can’t police others normal use of their space - it’s not a question of how many hours should children play in their garden but surely if you have particular needs then purchase property only where you can ensure you can control your environment eg detached and remote etc - I don’t have kids but there is a legal definition of nuisance and directing people to go to playgrounds when they don’t need to is simply wrong and your neighbours will always feel they can dictate- your children are only young once and it’s good to hear they are not glued to screens so enjoy your home and ( if asked again) politely explain they are not being reasonable

I would tell them that i will file complaint for harrasment

👀

and more people that want a house to be a flat :/

Still nothing like the post I replied to. Not 4 children in a one bed flat destroying things in a communal garden. OP appears to have a house with a private well fenced garden.

What? Are they sitting with all their windows open?

Sorry. I’d hate to be your neighbour.
My two are on the spectrum too. When they were little I didn’t let them play in the garden before 10am, regular long in-door breaks and walks outside. Your poor neighbours.
Well now you know, they’ve had their fill.
8am to 6pm is a lot.

Ignore them! If they think they can get away with calling the shots now, where does it end? Miserable sods!

Oh FFS, get a grip. Who said anything about locking anyone in anywhere 🙄

By the the sounds of it, it's a semi detached where a bit of give and take should be a given.

I think you need to remember you are used to your kids’ noise, to your neighbours it probably is excessive. That’s a huge amount of outdoor play in the cold at this time of year. Neighbours should be considerate, them and you! Maybe you could take the kids to the park for a change? But that would also involve you bring out your n the cold for hours!

Quiet enjoyment of your home is a fundamental human right. The rights of kids to make noise does not supersede this. OP needs to raise her kids to be considerate of neighbours.

Tell them to get to f* - my neighbours little ones were besides themselves with joy at 7 am when they saw their new climbing frame/swings in their garden. Warned my heart and made me smile to hear such happiness - it’s Christmas for goodness sake!!

Had this during holidays. Son 11 Autistic and Daughter 13 is ADHD. Neighbour kept complaining each holiday since daughter was 10. Yet in the summer they’ll have BBQ’s until 2309-2330 on weekends. We let them in the garden at 09:30-1700 summer and 09.30/10:00 to 3:30/430 light dependent. Fed up this year so have invited the local scout band trumpet players to practice with me. I teach at a local school. As the scout band is raising money for the local children’s hospital I asked other neighbours what the latest time for practice can be. 21:30 is the local councils advice if in a building not dedicated. Ie own home. We agreed with all the other neighbours it will be 20:00 finish. 15 brass players practicing every night except Wednesday (scouts practice at scout hall until 22:30) and on a Sunday. Told the grumpy pair next door that I’m allowing practice until at least June. More that one way to ‘skin a cat’.

They really are being entitled, your children are being children and getting fresh air. Tell your neighbours to move into the lounge and keep out of the conservatory.

For those who are saying that the OP’s DC’s SEN trump everything…

What about those with the opposite SEN needs? My DD is ASD and is very sensitive to noise. She has sensory issues with ear plugs etc so those aren’t an option. Is her need for peace less important than another’s need to make noise?

As it happens, my DS has ADHD, and makes a lot of noise, so I do have to balance the need of both children.

My point is that consideration of others/compromise is important here. It’s not simply of a case where the OP should say “well my DC have SEN so we don’t have to consider anyone else’s needs”. Yes, their needs are important, but so are other people’s.

Aye fuck em

if they object to children playing out and threaten them will police / council for normal activities

fuck em 👍😀

Whenever this gets mentioned on here, those of us who find loud noise painful are made out to be unreasonable. Sorry for being unreasonable for not wanting a migraine

Our old neighbours used to sit in their garden talking, singing etc all afternoon and into the evening. They were noisier than the kids shrieking in the park (that backs on to our gardens). I would rather have a couple of kids playing than that.

I imagine many of those saying “think of the neighbours!” Wouldn’t think twice about having Sharon & Karen round for ‘drinkies’ in the garden in the summer when the kids are trying to sleep,

That’s awesome, they are trying to meet you half way on this and find solutions together!