Neighbours complaining about noisy dc in garden

[Xmasinthegarden]

We got the dc (8 and 5) a lot of presents for the garden (mud kitchen , outdoor toys, football/goals basketball hoop etc) they both have AuDHD and need to let off steam in the fresh air.

They were in the garden 10-1. Then back out again after lunch 230-430.

We had had a text from the neighbours at 115pm saying ‘we have guests today and would appreciate a little less noise from the garden thanks’ which I ignored but when the dc went back out at 230pm we had them knocking and telling us that they have family there and some are quite elderly and want peace and quiet and their niece has a newborn and all the commotion from our garden is very irritating as they are trying to relax in their conservatory. I said that the dc were not being that noisy and they wouldn’t be out there past 430 anyway. They said if this happens again tomorrow they will file a ‘noise complaint’ and may call the police!

The dc were just playing, not screaming or fighting. Just running about. Some ball bouncing yes but nothing terrible. They play out pretty much every day and this hasn’t been an issue before ? The neighbours moved in Feb this year so obviously it’s their first Xmas here but they would have known our dc play out a lot ?

They have text now with a ‘gentle reminder - tomorrow needs to be a calm peaceful day. Thanks for your cooperation’ wtf !!!

AIBU to ignore this ? We are home in the morning them leaving at 1230 to see my parents so if the dc play in the garden it wont be for that long just 2/3 hours in the morning.

@ChristmasDayIsHere most of us are about being considerate neighbours and everything in moderation

Most of are not saying no playing in the garden, but most gardens where you have close neighbours are not designed for basket ball hoops. If you want to thump a ball go thump it in an area designed for that eg outdoor basket ball court in park

@ChristmasDayIsHere that poster has said a neighbour did get a noise abatement order for basketball playing.

Now I am sure the noise OP’s DC were making wouldn’t justify such an order, but it might be something she would have to consider when DC were older and still wanted to play basketball for hours

They didn’t “ask for a favour” though, did they? They sent passive aggressive messages trying to pretend the OP was at fault when she is not. Then followed this up with an even more condescending and demanding passive aggressive message.

If they want people to do them a favour - especially to the extent of telling their children that they have to limit the time they are allowed to play with their own Christmas presents in their own garden on Christmas Day (!) - then it might have served them well to be far more apologetic about it and less entitled and rude. It would still be entirely up to the OP whether she accommodated such a polite request, but she might have been more amenable if they hadn’t behaved in such an entitled, rude and passive-aggressive manner and had come to speak to her in person with a bottle of wine and an explanation of their guests’ specific issues (assuming there is some genuine issue driving this behaviour other than being selfish and obnoxious) then she could have considered it.

They didn’t, and have instead demanded she comply with their unreasonable demands and tried to threaten her in a manner that makes them look unhinged.

Buy a house that suits your demands rather than expecting other people to restrict their children playing in a perfectly normal manner on their own property. To expect otherwise is “inconsiderate”.

Did you read the ages of the children? And the fact that they were literally given these toys yesterday? They are hardly doing hours of basketball practice per day, in fact the OP explained that bouncing the ball was a minor part of the play involved, which involved a mud kitchen, football and other activities also.

Such drama llamas here! Noise abatement orders are for constant, unreasonable noise or people bouncing balls off the walls of your own house etc, noise at anti-social hours. Good luck getting someone to issue one because some kids bounced a ball a bit on Christmas Day, in the daytime, in their own garden. 😆 With any luck these obnoxious neighbours will report it and be humiliated by the response sufficiently to reevaluate their behaviour.

Such hyperbole over perfectly normal and expected activities with families living nearby and then invented scenarios in which one of the children might be training to become an NBA player in ten years’ time, in an attempt to justify it the neighbours being passive aggressive and rude. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@ChristmasDayIsHere sitting in your house/garden and having some peace and quiet is also seen as normal. Where is OP’s consideration for her neighbours for that?

You don’t have a right to people in neighbouring properties restricting perfectly normal family activities to be quiet to a level that satisfies you during the daytime in order for you to “have some peace”. Buy a house away from other houses if you need this, or use headphones, or go and stand on top of a deserted hilltop in a national park. What makes you think you can dictate other people’s perfectly legal and reasonable use of their own property for your convenience?

@ChristmasDayIsHere we have a dog. Dog barking is also seen as reasonable noise as long as not excessive. As a responsible and considerate neighbour I don’t let our dog bark in the garden just up to the level that would be seen as excessive, I try and limit their barking as much as possible. DC when younger was not allowed to shriek or scream in the garden. Ball games were for the park once he got to the point the ball started to go over the fence. Soft balls only in the garden. Likewise I don’t play music up to the level just before it becomes a nuisance I am considerate of what my neighbours can hear. Legally I can use my mower or other noisy garden equipment at 7am, but all because I can doesn’t mean I should (and I don’t!)

So in the same way OP can legally let her children play outside in the garden all day making noise, thumping a ball etc but should she and should she have some consideration for her neighbours

Nowhere is any “shrieking” or “screaming” or excessive noise mentioned either in the OP’s posts or in her neighbours’ messages. Neither did she mention their ball going over the fence or them playing music. You are inventing things which are irrelevant to this post.

A dog left to bark outside is a sign of a neglected animal as well as a completely unnecessary public nuisance that serves no purpose to society (unlike raising children) so those scenarios are not remotely comparable. That part of your post reminds me of the sociopaths who often post on threads about children being in public human spaces and comparing this to whether their pets are allowed to be there; very disturbing people indeed.

Children are a necessary part of human society and any members of society who cannot possibly deal with excited children playing in their own garden with their new toys on Christmas Day should move very far away from all other human beings rather than harassing their neighbours. That is hardly “considerate”, is it?

Gardens are for many things, including children playing in them.
Your neighbours are BVU
Hope your children enjoy their games

@ChristmasDayIsHere you seem to be of the opinion that children can do whatever they want in the garden because legally they can and as a parent you don’t have to consider your neighbours. Whereas I am pointing out that all because that is the legal position doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have some consideration for your neighbours.

I bet OP’s neighbours have to put up with a lot and the bouncing ball was the final straw

They didn’t ask for complete peace and quiet.

OPs kids are outside for up to 10 hours a day at times to ‘let off steam’ for their wellbeing and the OPs convenience.

Neighbours have said nothing until yesterday, simply asking for a little less noise.

Hardly unreasonable.

You think people are “selfish pricks” for having building work done on their house? Wow. And yes, you would have been advised of it directly as a next door neighbour and had the opportunity to review the plans and object at the planning stage so you would have known in advance this was happening.

Unless, of course, it was permitted development in which case it was by definition a small building project of a single story which anybody is free to do at any point in time and you are one of these people that make huge fuss if anyone living near them has the audacity to drop a pin within earshot because you believe your preferences override everybody else’s preferences or even their needs - like in the case of the OP’s children and their need to play in their garden daily, as she has explained.

I would not be at all surprised if you objected to planning application your neighbours made and then are pretending to be “shocked” that they didn’t communicate with you further when the building work took place. 😆 Ultimately if you find normal human activity so intolerable you need to move to a house that isn’t near other houses.

Do not misrepresent my views like this, that is unacceptable. I’ve said no such thing.

I have said that what the OP and her neighbours have described is perfectly reasonable and acceptable family activity and use of their property and the law agrees with me.

This isn’t a “lack of consideration” and to try to present it as such is laughable. It is the neighbours who were trying to bully the OP into not allowing her children to play in their own garden with their own Christmas presents on Christmas Day who “lack consideration”, and frankly seem to be slightly unhinged as they will no doubt be told if they do try to report this “egregious crime” to the Council or police.

That's bad but nothing like two kids playing in their own garden.

There is no way you can reasonably describe the neighbours actions as bullying. They asked the op to keep the noise level down on one day and gave the children quiet toys. The op as said herself how much noise her children make all year long, all day long well into the evening. The op is not pretending her children are not noisy.

Reasonable people here have stated op needs to take into consideration just how reasonable her neighbours have been for ten months. And as op and her children with SN need such rigid environments to function, the op would do well to think about how a pissed off neighbour can make that very difficult.

it is all very well you bring obsessed with the law the law the law, but you need to consider the possible consequences.

Well my 2 neighbours believed the same as you but found out the hard way that they were wrong. Any excessive and regular prolonged noise can be a statutory noise nuisance including children "playing " especially if it involves shrieking, screaming and/or repetitive ball bouncing ie basketball.

Excellent

sounds like a fun and healthy childhood

nope

dont believe that for a single second

I’m 50/50.
Im usually very chilled about noise, I live in a very busy area. Christmas Day is for everyone. The noise from my neighbours children on the trampoline was a bit much, given that other neighbours want to use their garden too.
I always have had children visiting, they’re always noisier than the parents realise as they’re used to the noise.

They threatened to report them to the police. Not exactly neighbourly.

The op said her children were out for 5 hours being noisy. The neighbours asked op to keep them quieter for a few hours. The op refused. They then said they would make a noise complaint.

the neighbours have clearly been pushed to their limit and the op does not want to compromise. Neighbours who I have pushed to their limit are not neighbours I want to live next door to. The op needs to do more to lessen the noise her children make. Remove the balls. If op doesn't, the person who will suffer the most is likely the op.

The op leaves her children outside for so long so they will sleep. As a pushed to my limits neighbour dealing with a person who will not compromise and is reducing the quality of my life, the absolute first thing I would do is stop being considerate of my noise level at bedtime and into the evening.

The op would do well to remember the neighbours have been very understanding up until now and the op would benefit the most from understanding neighbours.

No matter where you live, you do not live in a bubble.

Built-up areas require some give and take regarding noise to remain harmonious. It sounds like OP here is all take. The neighbours have asked her to keep the outdoors kid noise down for one single day, for the comfort of their guests. They haven’t asked for DC to be kept inside in their rooms. They must be at the end of their tether here. It’s their outside space too; the DC should not be allowed to monopolise it with noise. I feel a lot of parents don’t realise just how obtrusively loud their DC are and become very entitled when asked to curb it in communal spaces. It’s not doing DC any favours either, by not teaching them to be considerate of the impact their behaviour has on others.

Can you not add up?
5 hours.

Who gives a shit if continuous? Even 3hrs non-stop is hideous and is indeed 'hours on end'.

Yeah, and sod anyone else. Who cares if the OP is inflicting her children onto others? Fuck em. Yeah.