DH and perfume gift

[itsaperfumeone]

Fully prepared to be told I’m being ungrateful.

DH asked me what I’d like for Christmas. I asked him. I got him what he asked for.

I said I’d really like a specific perfume. It was £90. It’s a lot but A) it was within the price range we agreed on and B) he said he’d get me it.

A few years ago, he got me a perfume for Christmas. I tried it on a few days later and absolutely hated it- he didn’t know beforehand as I’d never had it before, I’d never heard of it, it was just unfortunately not for me. It made me feel quite sick. It’s more Britney Spears perfume price than the one I wanted (although not spears’ perfume). I asked him a while ago could I throw it away as I just wouldn’t wear it and he said that was fine. I apologised profusely but it just was, for me, horrible.

So anyway he told me he was getting me the one I asked for. We have quite a lot in savings, plus agreed a price range for each other. I got him what he asked for. I got another bottle of the perfume that I hate. I was so disappointed. Thankfully I opened it when he was out of the room. He got me two other things I didn’t ask for. I’d asked for the perfume I wanted and a T-shirt from something I like. Just bear in mind I got him things he asked for and a few extra bits too. Don’t really care that I didn’t get the T-shirt but I’m upset about the perfume. AIBU?

What was his reason for not getting what you wanted?

Just tell him ask.to exchange it. I.dont know why he got the wrong one. He maybe stopped listening which in itself is bloody rude, next year ask for vouchers or send him a link, he isnt a child you can say you had asked for X and he bought Y.

Omg, I missed the fact that he bought you the same one as before????? What an absolute let down.

It sounds like he got mixed up, she said something about X perfume..that must be the one she likes. It's just a mistake, a little one from his perspective but a big one for you. I think be honest. Explain that if you got him a Man city top instead of a Man utd it would be a big deal to him but a little error for you. Or whatever analogy he would get. I have to use analogy to explain everything to DH because it's only then he 'gets' it. YANBU to be upset but don't make it a big thing either. Return the gift.. if you can't just buy yourself the new one anyway from joint funds!

My ex did something similar for my birthday years ago. I asked for a specific perfume, money was tight so I found the smallest, cheapest bottle I could and sent him the link. I said that was all I wanted, and also a lie in and not to have to drop him to work at 5am for once.

Come my birthday he hasn't organised a lift from a colleague so I'm woken up at 4:30am 🙄 and then open a box full of random tat and the wrong perfume...

We broke up a few weeks later shortly before Christmas and he admitted he'd deliberately bought the wrong perfume because I'd once described the one I wanted as "sexy" and he didn't want me to smell attractive to other men 🤦🏼‍♀️

YANBU he sounds like an eejit

You seem intent on embarrassing yourself by replying rudely when you haven’t properly read a post.

So say something? He’s clearly made a mistake of some kind (unless he’s just a knob, generally). Ask him why he got you that instead of what you asked for.

This seems fairly straightforward to me.

I agree i think there has been too much talk of perfume and has switched off, which is an issue does he normally glaze over when you talk?

Agree with who?

Yeah perfume is soooo specific. What is it with men and not listening? Sure he’d have something to say if you got him Lynx Africa instead of Dior sauvage for example…

sorry OP! Get a refund/voucher and get the one you want

Read full OP she hated it the first time he bought for her and she asked him if it's was okay if she threw it away

He’s your dh so ask him for the receipt and exchange it.

“This is the one you got me last time that wasn’t my cup of tea, can it be exchanged for the one I asked for”

He is lazy or uncaring.

Fuck that, just tell him that’s the one you done like can you have the receipt and change it for the one you do like … honestly! My ILs are like this, I asked for a Ted Baker wash bag and I got a Superdrug wash bag that had about 5 other smaller bags inside it. It was probably something they thought was a good idea because it’s multiple bags etc, but I’d asked for something I wouldn’t buy myself, so yea it was expensive, but they’re always spending lots at Christmas so I just asked for something well Within price bracket and I’d be very grateful for anything else …. Saying that those bags have been great for my kids camping trips or trips to PGL 😜

Of course you ate not being unreasonable and if you think you are then you need to give your head a wobble. I wouldn't hide my annoyance from him. I'd be quite clear with him that he has yet again bought you a perfume you don't like and hadn't asked for. Start valuing yourself because he doesn't.

I think he didn’t get it because of the price. Have no idea why he bought this one though.

Well DH bought me a deck chair for Xmas ….i mean wtaf. I’m too shocked even to be annoyed at the shitness! And a jar of peanut butter.

worse than the year I got a battered candle from TKMaxx.

But you'd agreed on a budget
Have you told him it's the one you'd previously asked to throw away?

@Winterburnno because what if it’s someone’s favourite on this thread?😭

Also he bought it online so not sure how that’d work with a receipt?

Men are useless with presents, the solution is to buy exactly what you want yourself, get DH to transfer cost to you and give gift to him to wrap (hoping he doesn't forget who it is for and instead gives it to his mother/sister etc.....)

He will be able to return it, as long as it's unopened. All the online retailers have returns policies. It's actually our right as a consumer to be able to return items we've bought online within so many days.
Ask him to check the website's return policy.

THIS!! He’s either a stupid idiot for doing this again OR he’s actually malicious and trying to put you in a situation where you yet again have a gift that smells like shite that you’re expected to be thankful for? No thanks. I find it seriously hard to believe it’s an accident and that is actually quite weird and alarming to think about, he’s purposely got you something you hate to upset you? What a horrible prick.

My husband got me 3 book, new hiking socks, my favourite chocolates, specific makeup I like and shoes in the correct size. ITS BULLSHIT MEN CANT BUY GIFTS. My 5yr old son is luckily being raised to buy gifts for others and he did a far better job than this arsehole OP is dealing with. Magically men can hold down jobs that require memory, organization and planning but can’t be fucked to get their family or significant other a present? Nah.