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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Probably - but people too lazy to cook their own christmas dinner are spoiling mine

717 replies

SheinIsShite · 25/12/2025 09:15

My youngest DS is 16 and works in a pub kitchen. Dish washing, food prep, plating starters/dessert. He is contracted to do 8 hours a week which is usually OK. Obviously this time of year is busy and because he is not at school he has more shifts.

School finished on Friday, he worked Friday evening. And Saturday, and Sunday. Did an extra shift on Monday afternoon as they were short. Yesterday was rostered 11-6 but got home at 22.50 as they were so busy and needed to prep for the 700 covers they have booked today between 12 and 4.30pm. He starts again at 10am this morning, and although they have said he'll be done by 6.30 I don't believe that so he will more than likely miss our family meal.

So all of you paying £85 a head for Christmas lunch in a very standard chain pub, thanks for that.

Totally appreciate that some people have to work and we are all grateful to the police, fire, midwives etc. But going out for your Chrtistmas lunch is not essential.

OP posts:
GoneWoman · 25/12/2025 11:37

I'm having visions of an ever increasing furious OP marching into the establishment and hoiking said Teen out by the scruff of his neck to take him home for Christmas dinner

lifeonmars100 · 25/12/2025 11:37

These are the occasions when I have been out for Christmas lunch.

  1. The Christmas when my mum was terminally ill and we knew it was going to be her last and it was good not to have the work and stress of prepping and cooking a meal at home. We went out so we could all
  2. After a year of hell myself and a friend went out for Christmas lunch as a treat to ourselves. we had both been though a lot, work stress, family upheaval, a traumatic crime commitied against one of us so we felt we could do with a treat and full day off from cooking. As singe mums who cooked probably at least 350 dinners a year it was good to be waited on.
You have no idea why people are eating out, they are paying so let them enjoy it
RafaFan · 25/12/2025 11:38

I was that 16 year old, 30 years ago. Took every shift offered over Christmas as it was double time. Made what seemed a fortune at the time, and built a nest egg which was essential when I went off to Uni. Seriously, be glad you have a kid with a great work ethic.

23doorsdown · 25/12/2025 11:39

What a ridiculous post!

Surely it’s your fault that your son needs a job & he has to work?

Mum2Fergus · 25/12/2025 11:39

DS might be glad to be out the way of you and your attitude.

Purplecatshopaholic · 25/12/2025 11:40

Oh op, you are not covering yourself in glory here. Well done to your son for having a job and earning his own money. Eat your Christmas dinner at a different time, or on a different day, it’s not difficult. That’s what my DSis does as her DD is similar to your son. Be proud of him rather than moaning about it.

SorryNotSorry00 · 25/12/2025 11:41

Be for real 😅 no one forced your son to work long hours, besides he is most likely enjoying the experience of earning his own money as I did myself when I was his age.

Yes I wouldn’t go out to eat on Christmas either but that’s not the point.

Arlanymor · 25/12/2025 11:41

We're going to our local community pub for lunch. It's staffed by members of the community, it was saved from complete dereliction by local residents buying shares to bring it back to life. It's a really joyful event and another way to put money into a rural community asset which would have completely disappeared otherwise. People actively look forward to it, even those who are working on the day. Plus the tips are generous and the ambience is lovely - no one is there who doesn't want to be there, including those in the kitchen, serving and on the bar.

But sure - it's lazy to try and keep the lifeblood of a community going. To invest in a place that is a warm hub, a prescription collection point, a cheap location for local groups to meet, such as the community choir, dementia group, etc.

Your post is completely contrary to the spirit of Christmas frankly. I could tell you about how I volunteered for a decade for St Mungos on Christmas Day when I lived in London, but sure, I am lazy, you won't want to hear it. I've decided to feel sad for you as opposed to angry, because you really don't live in the real world.

23doorsdown · 25/12/2025 11:41

Nobody needs to go out for christmas lunch to a pub.

Would you close hotels too?

Welikebeingcosy · 25/12/2025 11:41

i worked christmas day in a restaurant when i was younger. it was lovely. the atmosphere was so nice and it really made a nice change...christmas isn't just about sitting at home eating home cooked food, everyone's christmas' look different. there are people who want to eat out for all sorts of reasons-

someone told me the other day they're eating out this year as they lost a relative and it would be difficult at home to be facing the empty seat where they usually sit. some people have chronic health conditions.some people get lonely and want to be out and around other people. some people like community. some people can't cook well and want to treat themselves after working hard all year.

i would be so proud of my child if they were working christmas day, it's good to have a good work ethic, and he'll be with his workmates, please don't spoil it for him by being all miserable about it, help him see the positive.

Spendysis · 25/12/2025 11:42

my ds is a chef so working all over Christmas we are having our Christmas meal when he finishes at 5pm It’s part of the job i certainly don’t blame the customers and it’s not going to ruin our Christmas.

wonderstuffs · 25/12/2025 11:43

lifeonmars100 · 25/12/2025 11:37

These are the occasions when I have been out for Christmas lunch.

  1. The Christmas when my mum was terminally ill and we knew it was going to be her last and it was good not to have the work and stress of prepping and cooking a meal at home. We went out so we could all
  2. After a year of hell myself and a friend went out for Christmas lunch as a treat to ourselves. we had both been though a lot, work stress, family upheaval, a traumatic crime commitied against one of us so we felt we could do with a treat and full day off from cooking. As singe mums who cooked probably at least 350 dinners a year it was good to be waited on.
You have no idea why people are eating out, they are paying so let them enjoy it

I don't blame you one bit.

But you know what?- even if you had no reason other than you simply wanted to go out for a meal, there is absolutely nothing lazy or selfish in doing that.

As PP have said, I bet the OP has been out for a meal on Mother's Day or Father's Day or valentines day or on New Year's Eve in the past and hasn't given the staff working at those times a single thought. You could even argue that going out for a meal at the weekends is "lazy" because weekends should be for "family time".

Hypocrisy at its finest.

TheLivelyCat · 25/12/2025 11:43

We are going out this year as a party of 10. I'm autistic with Autistic children, l find Christmas at home or in someone's else's home very stressful, the mess, cleaning, noise, everyone on top.of each other, my mum and MIL are older now and don't want to host. I can't cook a Christmas dinner. Therefore we have all decided to go out this year, last year my DH was on call, and got called out 2 times NHS.

So far today I've been up from 4am and eating at 3pm. Its a long day for us as it is without all the extra work.

whichmicrowave · 25/12/2025 11:43

Would much rather we hadn’t lost my dad a couple of months ago and we wouldn’t have to face being at home without him but we are (for the first time ever) going out for Christmas lunch today. Merry Christmas to you too.

19lottie82 · 25/12/2025 11:43

YANBU……..

YAB absolutely fucking bonkers!

Get a grip ffs

CosyMintFish · 25/12/2025 11:45

OP - you’ve done a great job raising a child with such a strong work ethic.

i hope you have a good celebration together when he finally gets home.

Fionasapples · 25/12/2025 11:46

Our DS worked in a pub restaurant over Christmas one year, we just had our Christmas dinner when he got home. The tips were great and he was on double time so it was worth it for a student. He also helped to keep a local independent business going, even though he was only a small cog!
If I'd started wailing that people shouldn't be allowed to eat out because it meant my baby boy couldn't be with his mummy, I think he'd have laughed at me. I even lent him my car to get there!

pinkdelight · 25/12/2025 11:47

What is it that you don't understand about restaurants and how they not only want but need people to eat out rather than cook their own meals at home? They do all the extra work now because January will be dead for them, and then you'd be moaning that DS has no work and people should go out to eat. Attempt to see the bigger picture and that it isn't all set up for your DS's family mealtimes. That's the one thing that you have control over and could adjust if it matters so much to you.

You can call people rude, but honestly the dimness of the OP is mind-boggling.

RightOnTheEdge · 25/12/2025 11:47

frecklejuice · 25/12/2025 09:54

It’s the same with people needing the police on Christmas Eve, why can’t they all behave themselves. My bil is a police officer and was working nights last night so he missed Christmas Eve with his kids, how we all didn’t realise he would be working unsociable hours when he joined I have no idea 🙄 Bloody members of the public needing the police are a joke.

You are comparing emergency services to a pub Christmas dinner?

Intrigued20 · 25/12/2025 11:49

Eh?

Funnywonder · 25/12/2025 11:49

Your DS is fabulous. But you are being extremely unreasonable. If a business offers Christmas dinner to make lovely big profits and people have the money to pay the extortionate amounts of money, then good for them and their mutually beneficial choices.

But I would also point out that calling people lazy for not cooking their own Christmas dinner is even more unreasonable. Among the lucky people simply taking advantage of a service they can afford, there may be those having Christmas dinner at this venue due to the fact they are UNABLE to cook it themselves. People with disabilities, elderly people or even just those completely mentally overwhelmed by life who feel they are unable to cope with all the expectations that Christmas brings. Christmas isn’t the same lovely, cosy, ‘making memories’ experience for everyone.

Bonden · 25/12/2025 11:49

He’s earning money. Thats his choice. Good lad.

ilovesooty · 25/12/2025 11:51

Arlanymor · 25/12/2025 11:41

We're going to our local community pub for lunch. It's staffed by members of the community, it was saved from complete dereliction by local residents buying shares to bring it back to life. It's a really joyful event and another way to put money into a rural community asset which would have completely disappeared otherwise. People actively look forward to it, even those who are working on the day. Plus the tips are generous and the ambience is lovely - no one is there who doesn't want to be there, including those in the kitchen, serving and on the bar.

But sure - it's lazy to try and keep the lifeblood of a community going. To invest in a place that is a warm hub, a prescription collection point, a cheap location for local groups to meet, such as the community choir, dementia group, etc.

Your post is completely contrary to the spirit of Christmas frankly. I could tell you about how I volunteered for a decade for St Mungos on Christmas Day when I lived in London, but sure, I am lazy, you won't want to hear it. I've decided to feel sad for you as opposed to angry, because you really don't live in the real world.

That sounds lovely.

Shoes232 · 25/12/2025 11:51

Ah OP maybe you could give your could money so they don’t have to work. We are going to enjoy our lovely restaurant cooked Christmas dinner and not worry about the washing up while we are served and tip generously. Enjoy your day 🩷

historyismything82 · 25/12/2025 11:51

Your need to direct your anger at his employer. They are the ones offering a service on Christmas day. Don't blame people for using it.