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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Probably - but people too lazy to cook their own christmas dinner are spoiling mine

717 replies

SheinIsShite · 25/12/2025 09:15

My youngest DS is 16 and works in a pub kitchen. Dish washing, food prep, plating starters/dessert. He is contracted to do 8 hours a week which is usually OK. Obviously this time of year is busy and because he is not at school he has more shifts.

School finished on Friday, he worked Friday evening. And Saturday, and Sunday. Did an extra shift on Monday afternoon as they were short. Yesterday was rostered 11-6 but got home at 22.50 as they were so busy and needed to prep for the 700 covers they have booked today between 12 and 4.30pm. He starts again at 10am this morning, and although they have said he'll be done by 6.30 I don't believe that so he will more than likely miss our family meal.

So all of you paying £85 a head for Christmas lunch in a very standard chain pub, thanks for that.

Totally appreciate that some people have to work and we are all grateful to the police, fire, midwives etc. But going out for your Chrtistmas lunch is not essential.

OP posts:
Arraminta · 27/12/2025 11:02

BlahBlah2025 · 26/12/2025 21:40

The world owes you nothing OP. Nothing.

Not sure where your sense of entitlement came from? The world and the pub and the workers at the pub and the clients of the pub do not revolve around your DS's needs.

Your DS CHOSE to work. At any point he could have walked out and not gone in today.

He had choices. And he chose to work. Not sure why you are complaining? No one put a gun to his head and say you must work today or you'll die.

No, they said you'll get double time. Nice. And he worked longer hours so he'll be paid more.

If he wasn't working, someone else would take the job. It shows there's market demand for this sort of job. There is market demand for all sorts of casual work. People come, people go... would you rather that this wasn't the case? Because in that case, there'd be no job at all for your DS. That's what it's like in France but anyway... never mind, you really don't understand how business and the economy run...

If you disagree with his hours, that's your problem, not the pub's problem or the people paying to eat there.

And by your argument he's selfish, because he's taking a job from an 18 year old when he shouldn't be working the hours he's working aged 16. An 18 year old who is out of work needs it more than him.... He's selfish because what about the people that will be servicing him in his expensive hotel, when he's paying for a bit of luxury? Should they all not be working long hours? Why is his expensive trip not selfish to workers but Christmas out for other people is?

You have no idea OP. No idea at all how the world works.

This. This. This.

It genuinely scares me that people can go through over 12 years of formal education and remain so utterly ignorant of how the world actually works.

BusyMum47 · 27/12/2025 11:03

Rafting2022 · 25/12/2025 09:18

Don’t work in hospitality then? Have your Christmas Day on one of his days off?

What a bizarre post!

Exactly! ⬆️

Helpmybrainsmelted · 27/12/2025 11:09

SheinIsShite · 25/12/2025 09:15

My youngest DS is 16 and works in a pub kitchen. Dish washing, food prep, plating starters/dessert. He is contracted to do 8 hours a week which is usually OK. Obviously this time of year is busy and because he is not at school he has more shifts.

School finished on Friday, he worked Friday evening. And Saturday, and Sunday. Did an extra shift on Monday afternoon as they were short. Yesterday was rostered 11-6 but got home at 22.50 as they were so busy and needed to prep for the 700 covers they have booked today between 12 and 4.30pm. He starts again at 10am this morning, and although they have said he'll be done by 6.30 I don't believe that so he will more than likely miss our family meal.

So all of you paying £85 a head for Christmas lunch in a very standard chain pub, thanks for that.

Totally appreciate that some people have to work and we are all grateful to the police, fire, midwives etc. But going out for your Chrtistmas lunch is not essential.

This is ridiculous.

I volunteered with a charity on Christmas Day who held a Christmas meal event at a local pub for people who have no where else to go. Are you also annoyed at these people who desperately need human interaction on what can be the loneliest day when you don't have someone else to share it with?

Have you considered that your son has chosen to work these additional hours?

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 27/12/2025 12:03

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:39

OK few points - the choice of the word "lazy" has obviously wound some people up. Agree that the responses on the thread about shopping on Boxing Day are very different but this is often the way things go on MN, people love being contrary, disagreeing and telling people they are being unreasonable. Such is life, and as the teen who was the subject of this thread would say - it's not that deep.

He had a very lucrative shift on Thursday and got away by 6.45. He did say he would prefer not to be working but the money was good.

I think a lot of people are forgetting what it's like to be 16 and in your first ever job with people twice your age, and older. Saying no or refusing to work, or just leaving when your shift is up is not an option. Just as walking out of a lesson at school or saying no to a teacher is not an option. There is a huge amount of pressure put on them and guilt-tripping which might be easy to identify and resist when you are 26 or 46, not when you are 16. He worked again yesterday, is doing a few hours today, but after that is off until 2nd January so can have a proper break.

It was his choice to get a job and we supported him in that. He wants to save for something specific. He had no burning desire to work in hospitality but had to take what is available locally given that he is 16, doesn't drive, and public transport is not great. This pub has a high turnover of kitchen staff. Wonder why. They are often aware that he is not getting the breaks he's legally entitled to or is kept later than he should be. As someone else pointed out, this is because there are often just 2 people in the kitchen and customers are not going to wait 30 minutes for their desserts because DS is in the staffroom. He is paid for working through breaks but still - not good. Now that he has 6 months' experience under his belt his plan is to look for something more predictable for 2026.

And my user name has nothing to do with Worzel Gummidge or Wicked. It's simply a statement that Shein - the shitty Chinese fast fashion slave-merchant company - is shite. Because it is.

And, even acknowledging that the use of the word lazy has "wound some people up", but not apologising for the shitty word or try to re-phrase the title when given the reasons why people choose to go out for Xmas dinner are totally justifiable (it's just you with a problem) is just shit all round.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 27/12/2025 12:17

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:39

OK few points - the choice of the word "lazy" has obviously wound some people up. Agree that the responses on the thread about shopping on Boxing Day are very different but this is often the way things go on MN, people love being contrary, disagreeing and telling people they are being unreasonable. Such is life, and as the teen who was the subject of this thread would say - it's not that deep.

He had a very lucrative shift on Thursday and got away by 6.45. He did say he would prefer not to be working but the money was good.

I think a lot of people are forgetting what it's like to be 16 and in your first ever job with people twice your age, and older. Saying no or refusing to work, or just leaving when your shift is up is not an option. Just as walking out of a lesson at school or saying no to a teacher is not an option. There is a huge amount of pressure put on them and guilt-tripping which might be easy to identify and resist when you are 26 or 46, not when you are 16. He worked again yesterday, is doing a few hours today, but after that is off until 2nd January so can have a proper break.

It was his choice to get a job and we supported him in that. He wants to save for something specific. He had no burning desire to work in hospitality but had to take what is available locally given that he is 16, doesn't drive, and public transport is not great. This pub has a high turnover of kitchen staff. Wonder why. They are often aware that he is not getting the breaks he's legally entitled to or is kept later than he should be. As someone else pointed out, this is because there are often just 2 people in the kitchen and customers are not going to wait 30 minutes for their desserts because DS is in the staffroom. He is paid for working through breaks but still - not good. Now that he has 6 months' experience under his belt his plan is to look for something more predictable for 2026.

And my user name has nothing to do with Worzel Gummidge or Wicked. It's simply a statement that Shein - the shitty Chinese fast fashion slave-merchant company - is shite. Because it is.

Your user name is obvious, if not particularly nuanced. No one was asking you about Worzel Gummidge. You really need to get over yourself.

Ariel896 · 27/12/2025 13:08

Is there something in the water on MN? So many batshit threads at the moment!!!!!!!

SoulSearchBeHonest · 27/12/2025 13:16

Ariel896 · 27/12/2025 13:08

Is there something in the water on MN? So many batshit threads at the moment!!!!!!!

Alcohol 🍷🍺

CaraMP01 · 27/12/2025 13:16

A fatuous post. Entitled, and clueless.

MamsKnit · 27/12/2025 14:13

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:45

Leaving this thread now but..

it can also probably be cheaper than the extortionately priced cost of buying the materials to make a Christmas dinner

£82 a head for Christmas dinner without drinks. For a family of 4, that's probably £350 once you've factored in buying drinks too. There is NO WAY that it is cheaper than making your own. Or even buying it all in wee trays, ready prepared, stick straight in the oven. It;s an indulgence and a treat.

People can spend their money however they wish to. It’s not that deep.

And if I was you I would be proud of a 16 year old son who is motivated to work over the holiday rather than ask his parents for money for something he wants to purchase.

Ladygardenerinderby · 27/12/2025 14:15

absolutely ridiculous post fgs !! Sure your son is grateful for his job and good on him but YABU and ridiculous dictating to people not to eat out Xmas day

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/12/2025 14:18

I wish this was an option in Ireland. I’d happily pay for the service and leave a huge tip for the staff.

I worked in variety of shit call centre roles, unsocial hours to reduce child care, the type of job that’s open 24 hours, including Christmas, big deal, it was my only option at the time.

He will be happy with the extra cash.

Nevernonono · 27/12/2025 14:19

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:39

OK few points - the choice of the word "lazy" has obviously wound some people up. Agree that the responses on the thread about shopping on Boxing Day are very different but this is often the way things go on MN, people love being contrary, disagreeing and telling people they are being unreasonable. Such is life, and as the teen who was the subject of this thread would say - it's not that deep.

He had a very lucrative shift on Thursday and got away by 6.45. He did say he would prefer not to be working but the money was good.

I think a lot of people are forgetting what it's like to be 16 and in your first ever job with people twice your age, and older. Saying no or refusing to work, or just leaving when your shift is up is not an option. Just as walking out of a lesson at school or saying no to a teacher is not an option. There is a huge amount of pressure put on them and guilt-tripping which might be easy to identify and resist when you are 26 or 46, not when you are 16. He worked again yesterday, is doing a few hours today, but after that is off until 2nd January so can have a proper break.

It was his choice to get a job and we supported him in that. He wants to save for something specific. He had no burning desire to work in hospitality but had to take what is available locally given that he is 16, doesn't drive, and public transport is not great. This pub has a high turnover of kitchen staff. Wonder why. They are often aware that he is not getting the breaks he's legally entitled to or is kept later than he should be. As someone else pointed out, this is because there are often just 2 people in the kitchen and customers are not going to wait 30 minutes for their desserts because DS is in the staffroom. He is paid for working through breaks but still - not good. Now that he has 6 months' experience under his belt his plan is to look for something more predictable for 2026.

And my user name has nothing to do with Worzel Gummidge or Wicked. It's simply a statement that Shein - the shitty Chinese fast fashion slave-merchant company - is shite. Because it is.

What’s all this bloody waffle about? You blamed the end user for your some working, because they’re lazy!

Now it’s the employer!

Make up your mind!

Nevernonono · 27/12/2025 14:22

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:45

Leaving this thread now but..

it can also probably be cheaper than the extortionately priced cost of buying the materials to make a Christmas dinner

£82 a head for Christmas dinner without drinks. For a family of 4, that's probably £350 once you've factored in buying drinks too. There is NO WAY that it is cheaper than making your own. Or even buying it all in wee trays, ready prepared, stick straight in the oven. It;s an indulgence and a treat.

I’ll spend my money how I see fit!

I might save it and give it to my son, so he doesn’t have to work long shifts in a pub kitchen!

Grammarnut · 27/12/2025 14:24

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:39

OK few points - the choice of the word "lazy" has obviously wound some people up. Agree that the responses on the thread about shopping on Boxing Day are very different but this is often the way things go on MN, people love being contrary, disagreeing and telling people they are being unreasonable. Such is life, and as the teen who was the subject of this thread would say - it's not that deep.

He had a very lucrative shift on Thursday and got away by 6.45. He did say he would prefer not to be working but the money was good.

I think a lot of people are forgetting what it's like to be 16 and in your first ever job with people twice your age, and older. Saying no or refusing to work, or just leaving when your shift is up is not an option. Just as walking out of a lesson at school or saying no to a teacher is not an option. There is a huge amount of pressure put on them and guilt-tripping which might be easy to identify and resist when you are 26 or 46, not when you are 16. He worked again yesterday, is doing a few hours today, but after that is off until 2nd January so can have a proper break.

It was his choice to get a job and we supported him in that. He wants to save for something specific. He had no burning desire to work in hospitality but had to take what is available locally given that he is 16, doesn't drive, and public transport is not great. This pub has a high turnover of kitchen staff. Wonder why. They are often aware that he is not getting the breaks he's legally entitled to or is kept later than he should be. As someone else pointed out, this is because there are often just 2 people in the kitchen and customers are not going to wait 30 minutes for their desserts because DS is in the staffroom. He is paid for working through breaks but still - not good. Now that he has 6 months' experience under his belt his plan is to look for something more predictable for 2026.

And my user name has nothing to do with Worzel Gummidge or Wicked. It's simply a statement that Shein - the shitty Chinese fast fashion slave-merchant company - is shite. Because it is.

Agree with you re hospitality industry. Christmas is its busy time. My DS used to work for a brewery and they needed people in all over Christmas and New Year, shipping beer etc out to pubs and restaurants. They had a rota. No-one worked two Christmas/New Years running but it was still a pain.
Retailers are equally bad. DS runs the website for a large retailer. He is off for a week but worked till Christmas Eve and others in his team will work over Christmas, because people shop online on Christmas Day! There is no need and I think it's a bit sad that people do this!
Re: Shein, yes, they are shite but not only because of (mostly) nasty products (I got a very nice fitted shirt from them very reasonably once) but their business model, which is sweatshirt driven, with low wages and poor conditions as implied by that description. They also undercut better employers, making it difficult to have competitive products that people can afford. And if you pay workers little then they have little buying power, so very little local clout.
Globalization has a lot to answer for - most of it not good.
I also find people on MN often very judgemental when it's suggested we don't need shops open at Christmas and the staff should have a good break. Mostly on the lines of 'they chose to work in retail'. The great god Choice is hollow, most people don't really excercise choice in their work and choice itself is an illusion when it means 50 versions of the same thing.

blossom101001 · 27/12/2025 15:38

I had a Toby’s Christmas this year. It was definitely not the price you said. We paid £65 a head. It was delicious and indulgent. No cleaning up for me and the boys ate what they wanted. We, as a family, needed it!

maltravers · 27/12/2025 18:07

I used to work in a pub as a student over Christmas. Less movies and Christmas games for me, but it was fine. My recollection is that there were people in there by themselves, some of them quite possibly had no-one at home and chatting to the barmaid (me) or the other customers was an important way of being out with others on a day when it could be very lonely to be at home by yourself. Your son will make decent money I hope OP and will have a good chance of another pub or customer facing job now. Well done him.

ThatBlackCat · 27/12/2025 18:16

Nevermind

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 19:51

We ate out yesterday though spent considerably more than £85 a head. But apparently the pub staff actually fight to work Xmas Day because the pay and the tips (we tipped our lovely waitress £25) are so good

That's a lousy tip!

BIossomtoes · 27/12/2025 19:54

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 19:51

We ate out yesterday though spent considerably more than £85 a head. But apparently the pub staff actually fight to work Xmas Day because the pay and the tips (we tipped our lovely waitress £25) are so good

That's a lousy tip!

Not if it was 10 or 12.5% of the bill.

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 19:58

BIossomtoes · 27/12/2025 19:54

Not if it was 10 or 12.5% of the bill.

It wasn't.

Arraminta · 27/12/2025 20:09

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 19:51

We ate out yesterday though spent considerably more than £85 a head. But apparently the pub staff actually fight to work Xmas Day because the pay and the tips (we tipped our lovely waitress £25) are so good

That's a lousy tip!

Agreed, we always tip at least 10% usually, but it was all the cash we could muster between us!

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 20:14

You could've added it to your card payment.

Arraminta · 27/12/2025 20:16

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 20:14

You could've added it to your card payment.

Actually we couldn't. Tips going directly to your server needed to be cash. We should have remembered that from last Christmas, but we hardly ever carry cash anymore.

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 20:20

Tips going directly to your server needed to be cash

Tips are shared between front of house and kitchen staff.

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