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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Probably - but people too lazy to cook their own christmas dinner are spoiling mine

717 replies

SheinIsShite · 25/12/2025 09:15

My youngest DS is 16 and works in a pub kitchen. Dish washing, food prep, plating starters/dessert. He is contracted to do 8 hours a week which is usually OK. Obviously this time of year is busy and because he is not at school he has more shifts.

School finished on Friday, he worked Friday evening. And Saturday, and Sunday. Did an extra shift on Monday afternoon as they were short. Yesterday was rostered 11-6 but got home at 22.50 as they were so busy and needed to prep for the 700 covers they have booked today between 12 and 4.30pm. He starts again at 10am this morning, and although they have said he'll be done by 6.30 I don't believe that so he will more than likely miss our family meal.

So all of you paying £85 a head for Christmas lunch in a very standard chain pub, thanks for that.

Totally appreciate that some people have to work and we are all grateful to the police, fire, midwives etc. But going out for your Chrtistmas lunch is not essential.

OP posts:
Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 20:27

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 19:51

We ate out yesterday though spent considerably more than £85 a head. But apparently the pub staff actually fight to work Xmas Day because the pay and the tips (we tipped our lovely waitress £25) are so good

That's a lousy tip!

Some people don't tip at all

Arraminta · 27/12/2025 20:28

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 20:20

Tips going directly to your server needed to be cash

Tips are shared between front of house and kitchen staff.

Apparently not.

Arraminta · 27/12/2025 20:30

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 20:27

Some people don't tip at all

Show quote history

No, it was a rubbish tip considering the price of the meal, but honestly I was relieved that we even had £25 on us!

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 20:31

Some people don't tip at all

True but they don't claim the staff are fighting to work for the tips.

VikaOlson · 27/12/2025 20:33

He's not working hard to support a family of 4, he's a teenager working purely for the spending money 😂

I'm sorry him having a job spoiled mum's Christmas, but I'm not going to feel bad about a kid making lots of money in his school holidays!

Arraminta · 27/12/2025 20:38

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 20:31

Some people don't tip at all

True but they don't claim the staff are fighting to work for the tips.

Fortunately, I'm pretty sure other tips were more generous and you're weirdly over invested in the tipping structure at a pub you don't know and have never been to

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 20:46

and you're weirdly over invested in the tipping structure at a pub you don't know and have never been to

Not really, I'm just wasting a bit of time on MN - just like you and I'm pretty sure you could've added the tip to your card payment and that whether it's card or cash it will be shared amongst all staff

Arraminta · 27/12/2025 20:52

Yeah, you're freaking me out ever so slightly so I'm going to back away slowly without making direct eye contact.......

BIossomtoes · 27/12/2025 20:52

DorotheaXYZ · 27/12/2025 19:58

It wasn't.

Show quote history

How do you know?

suki1964 · 27/12/2025 23:59

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:39

OK few points - the choice of the word "lazy" has obviously wound some people up. Agree that the responses on the thread about shopping on Boxing Day are very different but this is often the way things go on MN, people love being contrary, disagreeing and telling people they are being unreasonable. Such is life, and as the teen who was the subject of this thread would say - it's not that deep.

He had a very lucrative shift on Thursday and got away by 6.45. He did say he would prefer not to be working but the money was good.

I think a lot of people are forgetting what it's like to be 16 and in your first ever job with people twice your age, and older. Saying no or refusing to work, or just leaving when your shift is up is not an option. Just as walking out of a lesson at school or saying no to a teacher is not an option. There is a huge amount of pressure put on them and guilt-tripping which might be easy to identify and resist when you are 26 or 46, not when you are 16. He worked again yesterday, is doing a few hours today, but after that is off until 2nd January so can have a proper break.

It was his choice to get a job and we supported him in that. He wants to save for something specific. He had no burning desire to work in hospitality but had to take what is available locally given that he is 16, doesn't drive, and public transport is not great. This pub has a high turnover of kitchen staff. Wonder why. They are often aware that he is not getting the breaks he's legally entitled to or is kept later than he should be. As someone else pointed out, this is because there are often just 2 people in the kitchen and customers are not going to wait 30 minutes for their desserts because DS is in the staffroom. He is paid for working through breaks but still - not good. Now that he has 6 months' experience under his belt his plan is to look for something more predictable for 2026.

And my user name has nothing to do with Worzel Gummidge or Wicked. It's simply a statement that Shein - the shitty Chinese fast fashion slave-merchant company - is shite. Because it is.

TBH its so much easier for kids in their first jobs to lay the law then it was for my generation

We now tip toe those with "MH Issues" , scared to say jack shit in case we are hit with a tribunal - Im not saying this is your DC's case. What Im saying is employers are a lot more careful then they were

Hospitality is the hardest start in life, but seriously it really does give you the back bone for moving forward

There's not a boss alive who is going to risk losing a trained, ( albeit young ) member of staff to take on someone else , no one can afford to do so

Your DC needs to speak up . Mostly junior staff have leeway to chop and change shifts with their peers

Dont believe your son doesnt have a voice, he does, but its how to use and when which will see him in good speed

DeftGoldHedgehog · 28/12/2025 00:06

My DDs both work part time in hospitality for a chain restaurant that doesn't open Christmas Day or Boxing Day. Great that he got a job, which is so difficult these days, but it's surely not the only option, now he has the experience?

Plus if the pub didn't make a ton of money at Christmas, perhaps they wouldn't be able to give employment to your son at all, so think on.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/12/2025 00:42

SheinIsShite · 25/12/2025 10:06

There is a lot of pressure applied. And you know - he's 16, in his first job and desperate to please.

Show quote history

I'm assuming then as he HAS to work this job that money is tight and he needs the cash, in which case be grateful for the overtime. or, he choosing to work a job and it's therefore his choice. unlike the other staff who have bills to pay.

Endorewitch · 28/12/2025 01:06

Ridiculous post.
Pubs need any money to survive. Hospitality is part if the service sector. Have your xmas dinner another day. One of my daughters went to Australia this year with her son ,over the Xmas period. I had a xmas dinner with all the trimmings just before she went. Change your dinner time.

JHound · 28/12/2025 01:33

YABU

nevernotmaybe · 28/12/2025 15:17

everywhereeverything1 · 25/12/2025 09:21

He’s likely on a 0 hours so no contracted finishes.

Show quote history

You still get given shifts with set hours, even as bad and stupid as zero hours contracts are they aren't that magical you can change the shift you officially book the person for.

Roobarbtwo · 28/12/2025 15:20

suki1964 · 27/12/2025 23:59

TBH its so much easier for kids in their first jobs to lay the law then it was for my generation

We now tip toe those with "MH Issues" , scared to say jack shit in case we are hit with a tribunal - Im not saying this is your DC's case. What Im saying is employers are a lot more careful then they were

Hospitality is the hardest start in life, but seriously it really does give you the back bone for moving forward

There's not a boss alive who is going to risk losing a trained, ( albeit young ) member of staff to take on someone else , no one can afford to do so

Your DC needs to speak up . Mostly junior staff have leeway to chop and change shifts with their peers

Dont believe your son doesnt have a voice, he does, but its how to use and when which will see him in good speed

Show quote history

Not really sure why you had to bring MH issues into this - particularly as given the OPs son has been working there for a few months only and would have no recourse at tribunal if the employer didn't give him another shift

The bosses aren't being careful - they are asking staff to work on for hours after their shift is supposed to finish - they don't sound like a good employer to me

UntilNickRemembers · 31/12/2025 20:18

Oh wow what a tantrum.
This is the most ridiculous vent ever published...
Hope you feel better about yourself. Hilarious that wanting to go out for a meal is "lazy". Can I assume you never eat out. Regardless if it's Christmas or not it's still being lazy in that context. Maybe he needs to quit so he doesn't upset mummy by working. Did you shop for food to cook Christmas day and ruin the day you shopped for the parents of the kids working that day? I'd hope you wouldn't have.

Fucking insane.

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