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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that 17 degrees is not warm enough?

326 replies

Maybebaby10 · 25/12/2025 08:13

Staying with a family member who is refusing to agree that 17 degrees in a drafty living room is too cold!! I have a small child here with me and the said family member decided to sleep with the window open as they like the breeze. They also do not like to shut their bedroom doors so draft under our door into the ‘make shift’ bedroom all night. We are in England and it’s freezing at the moment. I am fuming and freezing but don’t want to ruin the day.

OP posts:
Talkingtomyhouseplants · 25/12/2025 08:32

YANBU - 17 is my overnight and out of the house temperature. It goes right up to 19/20 as soon as I am up or back home

bigboykitty · 25/12/2025 08:34

It's very poor hosting. 20 degrees or I'd go home. The open window/door is ridiculous.

vanillalattes · 25/12/2025 08:35

We’ve just woken up and our house is about 15 degrees as the windows are wide open. 17 degrees is fine!

1980isitjustme · 25/12/2025 08:35

If it’s an old house they may struggle to get it much warmer. Our house is about 13 degrees in the morning, we can only get it to about 17 with the heating on all day. We do have a wood burner though to get an individual room warmer. You definitely get used to it if you live in it and I now feel smothered when I go into new build type houses.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 25/12/2025 08:36

Id be cold and miserable! If they keep their house cooler they should have forewarned you to bring some warm jumpers and socks. I’d personally hate the thought of my guests being cold in my home so it’s unreasonable they can’t turn the heating on for the sake of a couple of days (I also think those commenting that 17 is fine have overlooked the open windows and draughts)

autumn1610 · 25/12/2025 08:38

Mine is set to min 17 while I’m not in. But will turn the heating on for an hour or so and then it’s back off to cool back down. My mum and dads is a new build and it’s warm around 23/24 and I struggle and they don’t really have the heating on. I cannot stand being hot in bed and windows are usually cracked open a bit

GreyCloudsLooming · 25/12/2025 08:40

HeddaGarbled · 25/12/2025 08:22

Different people like their houses at different temperatures and no one’s wrong.

I’d just tell them you’re cold every 10 minutes until they give in. They can moan about you after you’ve gone home.

How incredibly rude of you.

SoIf · 25/12/2025 08:40

I've got some family who like it warmer than me. And another lot who like it colder. I accommodate them and adjust my layers of clothing accordingly. They are tone deaf hosts and I'd be tempted to go home asap.

AintNoStroppinessNowHesInTheBoot · 25/12/2025 08:42

That would be too cold for me and the kids, but not for dh who runs hot. It is so rude to refuse to have heating on for guests though, so your relative is being U.

DinoLil · 25/12/2025 08:44

That would be tropical for me! My house is usually about 15.

IndieRocknRoll · 25/12/2025 08:44

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 25/12/2025 08:21

You'd hate our house. We keep it at 17C although we do put it higher if we have guests. But it never gets above 19 even if the CH is running at full blast 24/7. It's an Edwardian house with huge single glazed sash windows and no cavity wall insulation.

We always try to make sure our guests are warm enough. We give extra blankets, hot water bottles etc.

Same! We live in a similar aged house and it’s impossible to keep it warmer than 19.
I don’t find 17 too cold but maybe I’m used to it & I also wear layers. We always have a gas fire or log burner on though in the main rooms we’re using & I would always put the heating in full whack if we had guests over.

TheChosenTwo · 25/12/2025 08:45

My living room is currently 20 Degrees, the heating is on and I’m just about to light the fire which will roar away happily all day. I really feel the cold and hate it so much. 20 would be okay if I was being physically active but as I’m planning on sitting on the sofa for the next couple of hours when the dc come down and we can open presents I’ll barely be moving.
Dh finds it a bit warm but he’s dressed accordingly in shorts and tshirt and is currently in the kitchen doing some prep - when he gets too warm he’ll either open the back door or just go and stand in the garden for a minute 😂

ocool · 25/12/2025 08:46

I'm in Southern Spain for a few weeks and while it's fab weather during the day, the nights are cold. We have the reverse air con at 24d at night + heated overblanket!

Doesnt matter what any of us say, if youre cold, you're cold. close the window and doors for a start and wear something warm to bed. Child will be fine.

Justlostmybagel · 25/12/2025 08:47

Yanbu. It's miserable sitting in a cold house, especially on a day like Christmas, when you're not doing anything but sitting!

Meadowfinch · 25/12/2025 08:48

Put on another sweater and some socks. Add a layer for your little one, you'll both be ok.

If staying overnight tonight, block the draught under your bedroom door.

herbalteabag · 25/12/2025 08:48

Maybebaby10 · 25/12/2025 08:23

So those who say 17 is perfect presumably cannot stand warmer restaurants, friend’s houses etc?

Many people's houses are too hot for me, especially new builds! Our house struggles to get over 17 even with the heating on but we dress for it and it's fine for us. I expect they don't realise you are cold and they are used to it and feel warm. Presumably if you are there on Christmas Day you know them well, so perhaps you could mention that you're cold?

CoubousAndTourmaIet · 25/12/2025 08:51

17 is very comfortable for us. Our house is never warmer than that. I get asthma symptoms at much above 20 and we have a hairy dog that overheats easily too, so we like the house fairly cool.

Wickersloth · 25/12/2025 08:53

I'm at my in-laws' and the house was at 17 yesterday. The heating wasn't on and they are used to it. I felt cold. My nose was cold, I couldn't not think about being cold, and I was tensing all my muscles even though I was wearing a thick jumper, thick tunic, leggings and sheepskin slippers. I put the heating on and set it to 19 as I didn't have a second massive jumper to don and didn't fancy wearing a wooly hat indoors as it's the 21st century. Being welcoming and reasonable people they were fine with this.

myhaggisblewup · 25/12/2025 08:53

Maybebaby10 · 25/12/2025 08:23

So those who say 17 is perfect presumably cannot stand warmer restaurants, friend’s houses etc?

Won't stay very long if heating is higher, I have a chronic condition and run warmer than normal. It's like having my own internal ch switched on 24/7 and it's not good at all, I get sweaty, miserable and uncomfortable.

Fizbosshoes · 25/12/2025 08:55

YANBU
I dont especially feel the cold but think 17° is a bit low. We've been to family who didnt put the heating on at all at Christmas and that was pretty chilly (i think it was milder than this year though)

PollyPlumPeach · 25/12/2025 08:55

I'd leave. The martyrs who make a big deal about keeping their house freezing cold are annoying enough when they incessantly talk about it, but if they are too tight to turn the heating up even when they have invited guests over, that's a red line. Can't be dealing with that

FannyUncanny · 25/12/2025 08:57

If I had mine set on 17 it wouldn’t even come on. 18.5 to 19 when it’s really cold like now. I wouldn’t be spending Christmas again with someone that tight and inconsiderate.

PollyPlumPeach · 25/12/2025 08:58

Coffeeishot · 25/12/2025 08:27

Surely you can pop a blanket on or an extra jumper? My house is usually at 18 and I don't find it that cold, you know you don't have to visit the cold house and pretend you are having fun

Maybe people don't want to spend Xmas day wrapped up in a blanket just because of an uncaring host?

Allthecoloursoftherainbow4 · 25/12/2025 08:59

LiftAndLetLift · 25/12/2025 08:19

My house is set to 17 and it's perfect, for me & DH.

If we have guests over I set it to 20 as I know 17 may not be quite warm enough if you're not used to it or don't have a warm jumper on!

Sorry but 17 is miserly.
It might be fine when you are moving around pottering doing jobs but lots of people will feel cold sat on the sofa at 17 degrees. Even with a jumper on I'd be cold.

ncduetooutingsituation · 25/12/2025 09:00

Well, I just had a cold plunge in the garden. It was 3 degrees. 4 minutes in that was quite exhilarating.

But my heating is now on at 21 degrees…….