Bed dilemma

[firstofallimadelight]

So in September dd mentioned that her and her bf are stopping at ours Xmas eve, lovely. She made a point of saying she wanted to be in ‘her’ bedroom. (Her childhood bedroom but she moved out 2 years ago so now the spare bedroom too) Every Christmas my cousin stays with us (she lost her parents young we are her only family) she usually comes for 1-2 weeks. Sometimes she stops with friends a night or 2 but most of the time she is with us. When she stays she stops in the spare bedroom (DDs old room) dd reminded me she wants to stop Xmas Eve in ‘her’ room so I have had to mention this to cousin. Cousin has been very nice about it , I’ve suggested she share with younger dd for the night (in a double bed) or could do a airbed downstairs. But I feel bad as her stuffs in that room.
Should I have told dd no ? Or is it ok to expect cousin to move as she’s one person so a little easier that dd and bf sleeping somewhere else in the house.

DD + BF get her old room for Xmas Eve, then the cousin can stay for the remainder of the time she’s there? Totally makes sense

The cousin is only 1 person and also easier to share with younger DD, can’t have older DD and her BF in with the younger DD!

Where did cousin stay before dd moved out?

Cousin has been very nice about it , I’ve suggested she share with younger dd for the night (in a double bed) or could do a airbed downstairs. But I feel bad as her stuffs in that room.
so what you mean is that you’ve given your dds room to your cousin? Is “her stuff” always in it?
you sound like you’re more bothered about your cousin being happy than your dd.

I would let cousin keep the room.

Where did the cousin stay when dd lived at home?

If cousin has been the guest for linger she keeps the room, it’s no longer your dd s room it’s the guest room on a first come first saved basis

she and her bf can sleep downstairs on an airbed,

a mix really, either sharing with either DD or in older DDs room and dd stay at her bf house. Last year dd went to her bf parents for Xmas so wasn’t an issue.
I guess I feel bad because cousin arrived Sunday so is being asked to move out the room for one night when she’s settled in there.

A couple visiting needs a room more. Using the younger dd's room is an option too.

I mean cousins stuff as she arrived Sunday. Dd moved out two years ago.

But you should also feel for your dd. Unless you want most Christmases to be spent at the bf's house!

That was hard to understand.

” when she stays, she stops in the spare bedroom”

I think you mean sleep? Stop sounds odd.

That's a totally normal colloquialism

Sorry it must be a local phrasing. Yes cousin sleeps in the guest room which was previously DDs room.

Are you more caring in other ways to the cousin than your dd?
make sure you tell her clearly that she and her partner are sharing a room with her younger sister so your cousin doesn’t have to move her things from her as in the cousin’s room.. at least she’ll know her place in your hierarchy of family, and can decide if she actually wants to come ‘home’…

Oh come on. Why are being so antagonistic. OP has not said that. DD moved out 2 years ago. It’s not really her room anymore.

she can ask and OP can consider. But it’s not an about a hierarchy of care fgs.

it’s about what makes sense logistics wise

Where does your dd actually live?

It makes more sense for cousin to move OP just because of numbers and it’s only 1 night.

I’ve explained to cousin and cousin started looking on air bnb for a room for the night. (Despite me saying younger DDs room or airbed downstairs) I’m torn on the one hand it makes more sense for the couple to take the bedroom as they take up more space, plus this is DDs home (figuratively speaking) so I always want her to be welcome but I feel bad saying to cousin stay 3 nights in the bedroom, move out for a night and then move back in to the bedroom for rest of stay.

An hour away, her and her bf want to stop Xmas eve and do Xmas morning as a family (one child still believes so we still have a bit of magic)

Is she quite dramatic with the “I’ll just go to an air b n b”? Where did she sleep when dd lived at home?
having shades of the now deleted dd who travelled 6 hrs can have the shitty bed because faaaamily!

"Stop over" is a very common phrase.

I’m actually quite relieved a number of you agree dd should have the bedroom, I feel less guilty.

I dont agree 😂
Silly and a bit rude to move the cousin out for one night, strip and remake the bed, then cousin moves back in strip and remake the bed
Ugh not over Christmas
DDxand BF can sleep downstairs or air bb

If my dd is home overnight she gets priority over any other guest. She swapped bedrooms with ds when she moved out though so it’s not even her old room but she’s welcome here whenever she wants.

Can't younger children have air bed on your floor and cousin has her double for the night?