AIBU to think this is quite strange?!

Thirstygherkin · 23/12/2025 16:18

Have they been worn? Still got labels attached?

Rattai · 23/12/2025 16:18

She must have forgotten where they came from surely?

Thirstygherkin · 23/12/2025 16:19

Wait so she’s not regifted

She has said that they weren’t right for her. Clearly she’s doing a sort out and just come across them for the first time in ages

BillieWiper · 23/12/2025 16:19

It is rather embarrassing for her. She must have forgotten it was you who gifted them in the first place. Unless you discussed the fact they didn't feel right and you expressed interest in having them instead?

If they're nice and comfy then I guess no harm done. But yeah, it's not normal to do that. It's considered a massive social faux pas.

TinselTitts · 23/12/2025 16:19

She probably just forgot who bought them for her 🤷‍♂️

Thirstygherkin · 23/12/2025 16:20

BillieWiper · 23/12/2025 16:19

It is rather embarrassing for her. She must have forgotten it was you who gifted them in the first place. Unless you discussed the fact they didn't feel right and you expressed interest in having them instead?

If they're nice and comfy then I guess no harm done. But yeah, it's not normal to do that. It's considered a massive social faux pas.

No she’s not regifted

she has told the op they don’t work for her so she’s sent them back.

She has probably she just come across them after putting them in a cupboard!

CutePixieGirl · 23/12/2025 16:20

I reckon she has forgotten who originally gifted them to her.

If you like them, be happy about it and enjoy them!

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 23/12/2025 16:21

Maybe she thinks that you really liked them and would want to have them yourself rather than her donate them to a charity shop or whatever. But even so, it is still odd to give them back to you as a present.

BillieWiper · 23/12/2025 16:23

Thirstygherkin · 23/12/2025 16:20

No she’s not regifted

she has told the op they don’t work for her so she’s sent them back.

She has probably she just come across them after putting them in a cupboard!

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Ah ok. So that's kind of fair enough I suppose. If there was a chance OP might like them. It would have been better to include a receipt then she could've just returned it to the shop sooner. But it's not as bad as regifting it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/12/2025 16:24

I assume she’s just forgotten that you gave them to her in the first place?

Gettingbysomehow · 23/12/2025 16:24

My daughter in law did this, I felt very pissed off. I spent £100 on the gift and would much rather she had sent them back straight after xmas so I could get a refund and give her the money. As it is I wasted £100.
What is the point in doing that three years later - you can't return them. She would have been better off regifting to someone else or giving them to a charity shop. I'd only want them back if they were unworn and we were the same size.
I think it's pretty rude.

Original poster

BengalBangle · 23/12/2025 16:45

BengalBangle · 23/12/2025 16:16

For context, I'm Autistic, so had a lifetime of being the strange one, but wanted to check this out to see if IABU...

Most boring story in the world ever, my Mum who is not my Mum (friend who is 25 years older than me, whom I became a '2nd daughter to' because she lost her adult daughter and I lost my Mother at around the same time) sent me as a Christmas present slippers I sent her 3 years ago!

They were bloody lovely, expensive slippers and I'm not upset she didn't use them (some long story about them not feeling right), but what is the logic in sending them back to me?!

Asking as, am I'm wondering whether it's my Autistic brain, or is this weird?!

I sent them to her 3 years ago. She'd asked for the same brand and style as mine, which are very expensive and recommended for people with our foot conditions.
I don't care about her not wearing them. I care about her telling me 3 years later that they did not work and they are my Christmas present.

OP posts:

Thirstygherkin · 23/12/2025 16:47

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ginasevern · 23/12/2025 17:10

@BengalBangle "I don't care about her not wearing them. I care about her telling me 3 years later that they did not work and they are my Christmas present."

Yes OP, it's bloody weird and rude whether you're autistic or NT. Has she had any health or emotional issues, is she in the early stages of dementia?

Stanislas · 23/12/2025 17:21

My DHs godmother was a lovely lady who liked fine things of life in the handmade sort of things. Over the years I gave her fine leather gloves or fair isle or silk hand rolled scarves. That sort of thing. One year I gave her some embroidered Swiss handkerchiefs. Many years later they came back to me or my daughter ,I forget. I mentioned this to my mil thinking that the dear godmother was possibly strapped for cash and perhaps we should send her a voucher for the needlework knitting shop that I knew she bought from. So guess what dear Mil did? I still feel furious whenever I see expensive embroidered hankies even after all these years.

Flowerslamp · 23/12/2025 17:24

Does she remember they were from you?

I had a Great Aunt who was well known for regifting. As she got older and her memory started going, we often got our own gifts back.

MatronPomfrey · 23/12/2025 22:53

Your post isn’t clear. Did she you could have them back as a present or are they wrapped as if you never bought them in the first place? It could be she’s regifting because she never used them and forgot you gave them to her.

Purpleandredandyellow · 23/12/2025 23:14

Stanislas · 23/12/2025 17:21

My DHs godmother was a lovely lady who liked fine things of life in the handmade sort of things. Over the years I gave her fine leather gloves or fair isle or silk hand rolled scarves. That sort of thing. One year I gave her some embroidered Swiss handkerchiefs. Many years later they came back to me or my daughter ,I forget. I mentioned this to my mil thinking that the dear godmother was possibly strapped for cash and perhaps we should send her a voucher for the needlework knitting shop that I knew she bought from. So guess what dear Mil did? I still feel furious whenever I see expensive embroidered hankies even after all these years.

I don’t follow? You gave your DH godmother a gift of hankies and she regifted it back a few years later - What did your MIL do? Were you annoyed with DH godmother or MIL - confused!!

Tiedyeegg · 23/12/2025 23:28

Definitely a bit odd.

I can see the logic of her giving you them back as she knows you would wear them and they wont go to waste. I can’t explain the gap.
Perhaps she’s put them away with the intention of trying them again and not realised how long it’s been? Or have you mentioned recently you need to replace yours and that’s jogged her memory?

If your relationship is otherwise good, I’d assume good intentions

fashionqueen0123 · 23/12/2025 23:30

BengalBangle · 23/12/2025 16:16

For context, I'm Autistic, so had a lifetime of being the strange one, but wanted to check this out to see if IABU...

Most boring story in the world ever, my Mum who is not my Mum (friend who is 25 years older than me, whom I became a '2nd daughter to' because she lost her adult daughter and I lost my Mother at around the same time) sent me as a Christmas present slippers I sent her 3 years ago!

They were bloody lovely, expensive slippers and I'm not upset she didn't use them (some long story about them not feeling right), but what is the logic in sending them back to me?!

Asking as, am I'm wondering whether it's my Autistic brain, or is this weird?!

It’s weird.

fine if she wanted to say look have them back and make use of them, but not after 3 years and not for a present!!

DurinsBane · 23/12/2025 23:30

Stanislas · 23/12/2025 17:21

My DHs godmother was a lovely lady who liked fine things of life in the handmade sort of things. Over the years I gave her fine leather gloves or fair isle or silk hand rolled scarves. That sort of thing. One year I gave her some embroidered Swiss handkerchiefs. Many years later they came back to me or my daughter ,I forget. I mentioned this to my mil thinking that the dear godmother was possibly strapped for cash and perhaps we should send her a voucher for the needlework knitting shop that I knew she bought from. So guess what dear Mil did? I still feel furious whenever I see expensive embroidered hankies even after all these years.

What did MIL do?

m00rfarm · 23/12/2025 23:33

Stanislas · 23/12/2025 17:21

My DHs godmother was a lovely lady who liked fine things of life in the handmade sort of things. Over the years I gave her fine leather gloves or fair isle or silk hand rolled scarves. That sort of thing. One year I gave her some embroidered Swiss handkerchiefs. Many years later they came back to me or my daughter ,I forget. I mentioned this to my mil thinking that the dear godmother was possibly strapped for cash and perhaps we should send her a voucher for the needlework knitting shop that I knew she bought from. So guess what dear Mil did? I still feel furious whenever I see expensive embroidered hankies even after all these years.

I have read this multiple times and still have no idea what MIL might have done and what it had to do with the godmother.

Rushedabit · 23/12/2025 23:35

You’re not wrong OP. That is weird behaviour. Fair enough giving them back if they didn’t suit, as you have the same foot condition and they were expensive. Some people might have qualms about this, feel it a bit ungrateful, but it depends on your relationship. My sister and I have the kind of relationship where we could return things like this with absolutely no issue.

But…as your Christmas present three years later? Very odd indeed!

acacia333 · 23/12/2025 23:46

My stepmother regifts stuff to me at Christmas that I’ve given her and my dad over the years quite regularly. One was a scarf I’d given 12 years previously and in the original (battered) box but she’d tried it on first because had lots of dog hairs on!
I also get stuff she’s clearly been given from others & bargain basement stuff collected throughout the years, all generic like bath bomb sets or candle from Aldi. Not a money issue as they’re well off with second home, designer clothes and expensive hobbies etc
I have asked my dad, politely, not to get me anything at Christmas many times but to no avail - I think he has no idea what she’s wrapping up to give me on their behalf! Don’t want to appear ungrateful but it does sting a little!

Danceparty55 · 24/12/2025 00:00

BengalBangle · 23/12/2025 16:45

I sent them to her 3 years ago. She'd asked for the same brand and style as mine, which are very expensive and recommended for people with our foot conditions.
I don't care about her not wearing them. I care about her telling me 3 years later that they did not work and they are my Christmas present.

Show quote history

It’s not you, this is weird. I can’t think of an explanation really. But if she is normally kind and lovely I’d just write this off as her having an off day.