AIBU to think this is quite strange?!

[BengalBangle]

For context, I'm Autistic, so had a lifetime of being the strange one, but wanted to check this out to see if IABU...

Most boring story in the world ever, my Mum who is not my Mum (friend who is 25 years older than me, whom I became a '2nd daughter to' because she lost her adult daughter and I lost my Mother at around the same time) sent me as a Christmas present slippers I sent her 3 years ago!

They were bloody lovely, expensive slippers and I'm not upset she didn't use them (some long story about them not feeling right), but what is the logic in sending them back to me?!

Asking as, am I'm wondering whether it's my Autistic brain, or is this weird?!

Yes it’s rude af and a bit crass to regift as a
present, let alone just hand them back. If they are that expensive she would surely remember who gave her them especially as she wanted the same as u in the first place. Cf x

Maybe she put them tk the side thinking she’d get on with them. Forgot about them and discovered them again in a clear out/tidy up.

As she knew they were pricey sent them back so not to waste them?

All people are weird. Everyone has quirks and motivations others can’t fathom. Just look at the number of differing opinions on here. What one person thinks is rude another doesn’t bat an eyelid too.

As such, just ignore it and move on. I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

Yeah this is an extremely weird and rude thing to do. She could have sent them back to you straight away so you could have your money back at least.

😂 ... I can't guess, can you please explain @Stanislas

Thank god it wasn't just me who couldnt guess what the mil did! 😂

Yes it's v weird to give them as a present

If it's out of character it could be a sign of cognitive decline, or being extremely broke I guess.

Hmmm bit weird but I guess she’s thinking that as you like them you would be the best person to use them but as your gift, yes it’s odd. She should have told you straight away so you could return them.

Is she autistic too? That is an odd thing to do - find slippers 3 years later, tells you they were no good, ‘gifts’ them to you immediately afterwards. Is she hard up for money? If she’s not hard up, or autistic and this is new behaviour for her, she might need to get checked for a UTI.

Yes, it is strange. In her defence, I would say that gift choosing sometimes brings out the strangeness in us. I love choosing thoughtful gifts but clearly recall a couple of times in my life when feeling stressed of getting gifts horribly wrong, with the best of intentions.

If she's normally a thoughtful person, I'd put this down as a one off error. She loved your slippers 3 years ago. Knew they were expensive. Hasn't used them. So thought she would pass a lovely, expensive, unused gift to you, as she knew you liked them. (Are you even the same size feet?) . She just overlooked the convention that you don't pass gifts back - ever!

Has she sent back the exact ones you sent her or bought you the same ones?

My friend once gifted me a necklace that I'd bought for her the year before. I said oh this is very similar to the one I got you and she said yes, I liked it so much I bought you one..it was the same one and I guessed from her expression she'd forgotten it was me that gave it to her. Maybe the same thing has happened here.

I think it makes sense that if she couldn't use them and couldn't return/exchange them you'd be the first person for her to think of giving them to (provided you take the same size) because (1) you have the same foot condition and (2) she knows you had these same ones before and so obviously you like them and they work for you - she may think she is doing you a favor giving you a second pair to alternate or a replacement pair for when your run out. It's weird to wait three years and then give them to you as a Christmas present, though.

My Mil does this. We have had stuff we've given her back and stuff others have given her. We have a tradition that we open hers on Christmas eve and its always funny. SIL got a sewing kit one year and my strapping 6 foot son got a Worlds Best Auntie t.shirt. we were disappointed a few years ago when she upped her gift giving game. Its also started the tradition that we now buy SIL a sewing kit whenever we go away. He has quite the collection.

WHAT DID THE MIL DO?????

I'd guess she told the godmother where the gift had come from in the first place, resulting in embarrassment all round?

Thank you 😊 I don't know what i expected but that's a bit of a let down 😂😂

Have I missed if you’re the same size?

What a bonus for you. Slippers that you love and will wear = a brilliant gift. It sounds like she has forgotten you gave them to her and regifted them to you (an unfortunate mistake). I’d forget it and enjoy my new slippers.

I think it’s that she stole the idea of giving a voucher

It may be that she bought the same ones to give to you, knowing that you like them.

Or it may be that she keeps a cupboard of unwanted presents and then re-gifts them (which many people do) but forgot that it was you that gave them to her.

So yes it’s a bit weird but I don’t think she thought too much about it and so I’d just forget it.

Apologies. Mil told dear godmother that she had sent a present previously given. Godmother was very distressed and so was I because I thought godmother was strapped for cash and we could easily and discreetly helped out instead of embarrassing the lady. I am showing my old age.

I don't think yabu. But if she is a nice lady otherwise , don't let it ruin your relationship. And maybe take it as a win that you now don't have to buy another pair of expensive slippers for yourself. She probably forgot u bought them 4 her. Sorry for the abbreviations ...I can't be arsed lol.

But what did MIL do?

Don’t feel bad. She sounds caring. Probably thought they’d be good and quickly realised they weren’t, so gave them back to you as she knew u liked them and had spent a lot of money on them. Be happy you have her in your life and she is thinking of you at Christmas x

I don't know why people don't just give things to a charity shop