To feel irritated when people with older kids who work part time say they have no time for exercise

[headphonequeen]

I feel they are implying I have all the spare time in the world and they’re much busier than me. Probably overreacting but it feels like a bit of a put down to everyone who does make the time for it.

I work part time with a school age child but I finish work, pick up said child and am then responsible for him until 5/6pm when DH finishes so I actually have the same free time as when DS was in nursery. Summer was fine because I could easily go for an 8pm run but it's been much harder in the winter - I've ended up joining the gym for the treadmill.

I think it is possible to make time for exercise but you have to really want to which only really hit me as a desire this year.

Yes this would be a good response Op.

Maybe they feel they don't have time. I can't imagine this annoying me. People have different priorities

I’ve got a full time demanding job, 2 kids yet manage to read and exercise and some people seem amazed. When they ask ‘how I manage it’ and I say I run before work or do a YouTube weights video on the evening they say things like ‘I can’t get up early’. But I’m not sure how they think other people fit it in! I also don’t watch that much TV but read books instead. If you work part time you should have plenty of time to do that sort of stuff, if you want to do it of course. You might choose to prioritise something else, but it irritates me that they imply I have a lot more time than them!

I think it is mainly a priorities thing, so it’s less about not having the time but more about not having the time without sacrificing something else that you would rather do instead. I exercise a lot but it does mean I can spend less time doing certain other things, as my time is finite. For me that’s worth it as exercise is important to me, but for someone who doesn’t prioritise it, it may feel like they don’t have the time for it.

I mean is it any of your business?

Also if you have school kids and you are picking them up at 3 then those six hours can go in a flash!

Anyone who uses any excuse - kids or not. My DH had four kids, though he didn’t have to do the day to day care, he worked at least 60 hours a week and travelled a lot, and still swam a mile every day. He was at the gym at 6am then on the train at 7.30 to work. Another friend had three kids and a full time job and she also worked out every day.
If it was a priority they could do it!

I agree it's about priorities.

I don't have kids or work that much but do feel very busy with stuff, mainly managing feral oldies and I sometimes do not have the headspace to go do organised exercise.

Plus the more time you have, the more things expand to fit that time. It's actually in some ways easier to be organised when you have limited time.

To your Sil, other things are more important or she's projecting guilt or whatever...

Why would them having enough time or not be about you?

He worked 60hr weeks, often away from home and also swam every single day?

Boundless energy. Boundless.

That's very judgey of you. Your DH was at the gym every morning at 6am with four kids. Who had the four kids, because that person wasn't at the gym at 6am because he was there? How did they go fitting in their exercise?

Ever had an autoimmune condition, or any other health issue? Not everyone has the spoons to work all day then work out on top of it all. Sometimes they're just too busy trying to cope, barely, with the basics.

I work out regularly but it can be very hard to fit it in. It's a priority but sometimes other things that come up become a bigger priority. In some ways those demands have just ramped up the older my kids have got (then you can add aging parents). "Sorry, you have to go to the hospital, you'll just have to suck it up until I've done my workout."

Yeah, I'll have some of what he's having! I want half that energy!

Not to mention that he was able to do all that with four kids because someone else was responsible for the four kids.

He’s obviously the son of a mumsnetter and probably swam for the county when he was a hollow legged, 6ft, 14 year old, so swimming a mile a day on top of a 60 hour week is nothing. 🤣

Caffeine, as a minimum. Unless he also lived exclusively off filtered water.

I’d imagine it is possible to have all the energy when someone is raising your kids for you.

I bet he could make a cooked chicken last AGES.

🤣

Absolutely. Unfortunately caffeine doesn't seem to do anything for me.

I work out regularly but some days I decide to listen to my body and have a nap instead. Perimenopause can be rough.

Everyone knows that women who work part-time are not really working properly and therefore available for all the family and community tasks you want to offload onto them.

Lazy people have no time for exercise, there I said it. I work FT and have 5 children, the youngest is 5 and has SEN. I run 3 x a week and do strength training 3x a week.

Yes. Special needs parents are historically bone idle. They’re not busy with paperwork, full time care responsibilities and then working - if they can.

Any old excuse, even if it is a disabled child.

When do you spend time with your children?

Older children pros:
You can do things independently from them.

Older children cons:
You got older too (peri/ menopause, health, energy)
They have their own lives- often lots of taxiing in the evenings, or support with school work... often later in the evening when you'd love to go to bed rather than conjugate verbs in the past perfect.
Extended family aging and may need more support rather than being the support.

Logistically, I'm not finding life significantly freed up compared to a decade ago in the pre-school era. Plus being a decade older has increased the need for rest time as my body is less forgiving than it once was.
I exercise, but it takes a lot of motivation and clear habits to push past the friction.

I have one of those. Sometimes I spend hours in the hospital. I should ask them to install treadmills for during the waiting times. I do have a treadmill at home I use regularly, but obviously can't be in hospital and on it at the same time. Need for hospital trumps treadmill time if there's a choice to be made.

Completely agree. It's not less busy, it's different busy, with less energy.

I’ve got one too.

He’s 9, cognitively 2.5y/o and earlier this evening covered his bedroom in faeces. He is 2:1 at basically all times.

Am I getting a carer in so I can go for a run for an hour? No. No I am not.

Am I weight training having been up since 2am getting screamed at? Also no.