DH’s friend asked him for money

[Ruggyleaf]

Help me settle a debate here…

DH has a friend from uni who never made it out in the real world. He’s not THAT close to DH but they keep in touch because they have fun ‘guy’ conversations online. Anyway. Long story short, this friend lost his job recently and asked DH for £30. He said he’ll pay him back 22nd of the month (think he has some temporary job now). My DH didn’t question this at all and sent the money straight away. He told me about this when he came back from work and I was annoyed because:

• He didn’t ask why he needed the money
• Dh’s money is my money. We should discuss such situations before actioning. I am on mat leave atm and every penny counts. I can do A LOT with £30 rn.

DH thinks it’s not a big amount if he doesn’t pay him back and he feels sorry for him for losing his job but this guy has a drinking history etc so I would have at least questioned why he needed the money!! Plus he is not a close friend!!

I also find it so bizarre to ask for £30. Who doesn’t have £30 in their bank account?? THOUGHTS!? AIBU for giving DH a hard time about it or not? 😂

bet another £30 he won’t pay him back 😜

Yes, that's what would worry me.

It's 30 this time and a one off. Now what happens if/when the amounts increase and it becomes a regular payment

There are few people I wouldn't just give 30 quid to if they asked.

He didn’t question it or run it by you because it’s £30. I would really be upset if dh drilled me over lending a friend £30. This guy didn’t ask him for 4 figures!

I wouldn't ask a friend why they wanted the £30.
My dp wouldn't bother mentioning he'd sent a friend £30. I wouldn't either.
It would be different if it was larger amounts.

Let it go. Your DH helped a mate out. It’s fine. Don’t interfere. If he never gets it back, he’ll learn a lesson.

If it was 3 grand you have a point. But thirty quid?

@RuggyleafI’m curious OP, the friend was going to pay your DH back on the 22nd Dec, did he?

When I saw the thread title I thought it was hundreds or even thousands! Cut your losses on the 30 quid, I think.

if my wife controlled what i did with 30 quid, i would lose my mind the next minute and never want to be with anyone again

It’s up to your husband as he should be free to spend £30 however he likes.
I reckon this friend is in serious trouble; it’s possible he may return the money then ask for a larger amount.

for £30 I think this is a bit too much from you, for £300 or more you wouldn't have been unreasonable. Assuming he pays it back on the 22nd as he's said he will...

if you'd been unemployed you'd understand how tough it is, my DH was unemployed for over a year, it was a really difficult time. Without help from my parents to keep up with the mortgage and a friend who had chickens and was very generous about giving us as many eggs as we wanted, it would have been very different, we were too proud to ask about help from the food bank which I realise with hindsight was us being silly. I learnt a lot from that period, including humility and greater compassion for others. It takes months to recover from as you have no choice but to run everything down to nothing, no savings, no stock of food in the cupboards/freezer...