Would you accept this?

[charlotte82]

Husband had been sacked from work for making comments about customers to his work mates, such as she's really fit, she's got good boobs, she's in good shape, is attractive etc. I feel really betrayed by this but am I overreacting?

Id say there is more to it.

Saying those things just to colleagues would get him a warning not sacked unless there is more

Also not appropriate to have this kind of talk in the office

Wow that's a whole different boardgame to some sexist pig comments

You're married to a stupid misogynist who is too thick to keep his hands and comments to himself in his workplace.

If it's got to the level of a sackable offence, it's far worse than he's telling you.

Déjà vu! I thought I’d already read about this!

I’m really glad @surreygirlyposted. On online dating, when men say ‘women are just as bad’, I’d never really believed them. And here we have it, sexism and objectifying women is banter and you must be really unfunny if you don’t get it. No, @surreygirly, just no.

your husband is a dickhead op. I doubt it was as innocent as you’ve detailed, nor that he was a one off.

Its utterly moronic isn’t it?

Even if you are OK with “banter” (which is almost always a euphemism for bullying in my experience), surely you would have to be thick as mince to think you could get away with doing it about customers?

FFS

What sort of job does he do?
Man here, and recently changed jobs. My previous company it didn't happen at all, my current company it's all over the place.
I'm not that way inclined but was in my youth, I tend to ignore it but equally makes me isolated.

As for betraying you? You know your husband, you know what he usually like. Is it more the embarrassment that he was like this in public? Or maybe you don't know your husband, then he has betrayed you.

Sexual comments in the workplace are not ok and a stackable offense

I've found some of the comments on this thread really fascinating. There has been a huge shift in workplace policy/expectations over the past year and the duty on employers to proactively prevent sexual harassment, including harassment from third parties like clients and customers. We all need to change our ways as "banter" however banal you think it is, can make a workplace toxic. If you don't recognise the need for change you will become part of the problem.

I'm sorry your DH has lost his job, hopefully he will learn a lesson from this and behave differently in the future.

Bloody right. This is work, not on tinder.

I would dump him just for the stupidity, let alone everything else.

First Thread Link

OP I would be so angry, it’s humiliating. He has been such a sleaze that he got fired. I would be so hurt and reconsidering marriage, also likely that he gave you a watered down version of events….

He touched some women in his workplace too.

And even if he hadn't, it'salways unacceptable for men to make sexual comments.

You've got very low standards.

You know you're not, though. Come on.

It's work. Fucking finally there's some consequences.

I very much doubt he would have been sacked on the basis of one complaint about a bit of banter. He would have been giving a warning that this was offensive behaviour that needed to stop. If he couldn't pack it in at that point then he is an idiot.

I mean the comments you mentioned are sleazy and would put me off somebody big time but the comments posted are at least all intended to be complimentary.
I’m willing to bet that he made some other comments about women he found less aesthetically pleasing too and it may be those that got him sacked.
obviously I don’t know for sure but that would be my guess…and in a partner I think I would struggle to move on from it. Depends whether he genuinely sees what the issue is and regrets it or whether he sees himself as a victim.

no you are not over reacting at all. That’s quite simply horrific. And it must have reached a very bad level if it was noticed enough for him to actually get sacked. I would not only be hurt by this but I would also be embarrassed to be in a relationship with this person.

He sounds like the type of man who goes to strip clubs - deeply unpleasant, rude and misogynistic, but I suspect you already knew that.

Not surprised that he’s lost his job - but relationship-wise the comments aren’t the hill to die on OP.

Are you hoping for different answers this time?

No, I wouldn't accept being married to a horrible sexist arsehole who made his female colleagues feel uncomfortable by perving over customers in front of them and (in your other thread) also singled out a female colleague and kept touching her.

I have no issue at all with men noticing women's bodies and enjoying looking at them; I certainly wouldn't consider the fact that he finds other women attractive 'a betrayal'. But the way he actually behaves towards women and the fact that he acts like a tiresome sex-pest buffoon all the time? Yeah, that would get him dumped. Who the fuck wants to be married to a character from On The Buses? He's gross.

Banter?!

I don’t want to walk into a business and have a group of men analyse my body.

Doing it every now and then may be acceptable in some cases, depending on what is said but he’s doing it regularly and it was bad enough to be sacked over - so not I definitely don’t think that’s banter.

Banter is teasing each other over things and being playful - it should be within the team only.
Not perving on customers.