So, teenage girls, aaargh. My head, honestly!!
My eldest has adhd with significant asd traits - this is very relevant as she has a very Very strong justice 'thing'.
If you significantly wrong her, or anyone she will let you know, and if its something that she sees as done ti purposefully hurt then shes will want nothing more to do with someone.
Today she was taken out of class by a teacher in rrlation to some goings on. She was told by the tr
eacher that she was a nasty girl, and evil bully and an embarassment...(thats verbatim btw...a 40yr old woman called a 16yr old.girl that).
Why? Well, eldest had a friend, S. S didnt have may friends anymore (relevant). eldest was really nice to S, they shared classes, sat next to each other for 1, I gave the kid lift a home with us after school on a friday.
1 day suddenly S just blanks eldest. Totally ignores her. No explanation.
Eldest is like, Ok whatever, gets on with classes, this had also.happened with a few other folk earlier that year.
It then turns out that S had been telling other kids eldest didnt like them/didnt want them in groups with them. Which is a load of bull, and explained why these people had suddenly not been speaking to her. This is what activated eldests cut them off decision. This is also apprently why S had such a non existent friend pool as this is her MO since primary.
S decided though, that when the seating was rearranged in a class to sit inbetween eldest and her best friend. So S sits there in silence, dorsnt engage either of them at all. Blanks them.
They are literally talking/working over her.
Eventually eldest had enough of it and BF took S seat - they did move her stuff off the place which I was not enamored with I wouldnt want someone touching her stuff either.
Eldest and BF were on snapchat in class (yes they shouldn't have been) messing about as it was a double and it was a brain break. They are neurospicy fools so post stupid face pics - and they also have a closed group that see these pics and stories (no one S is friends with - this is relevant!)
Fast forward to a day or so after, they get hauled in as apparently they were videoing S and sharing it with people on snapchat and S says she heard eldest say she wanted to smash her face into the desk, and calling her a bitch.
And, of course, you can't prove whats on snapchap, so they apparently have to believe S.
Eldest said she explained everything that happened. The teacher has said that S was open to having a discussion about eldest apogising for the video etc, and of course eldest said she was not interested in talking to S as A) there was no video so nothing ti apologise for b) it will achieve nothing other than S to accuse her of all sorts. I have said have the meeting, and when you apologise say your are sorry that she thinks she was videod, that she think a she should be allowed to lie, that she thinks false accusations are good things to make, ans sorry that she is under the impression she deserves an apology. But apparently that will get her into more trouble.
As eldest is also a prefect she is worried they could take that away from her. Also her BF didnt get taken out of class, which is why I know its a baseless vendetta from a kid that seems to thrice on being the victim at the centre of drama.
NgL, mama bear is pissed. I usually.let her navigate friendships herself as she is very mature about it. But we do seem to stumble when it comes to manipulative people as we cant think like them, and it gets us upset, so.ive found it hard to explain to her how to navigate that other than to leave well alone - which clearly does not work!! As here we are!
A have now decided its time I wade in, so awaiting a call back from the school for a good explanation of what they think gave them the right to say that to a kid, and how they concluded she was guilty, and ehy want i co tacted about this at thr start.
It is unreasonable of me to weigh in. Eldest is 16 and in 5th year, so legally she is the one with the enrollment/agreement with the school. But also...she is still a kid!