To judge a couple’s chemistry based on their wedding kiss?

[PearlMember]

Sometimes I watch wedding videos or see pictures and can’t help but think that kiss told me everything I needed to know. The ones that look awkward, stiff, like they’ve never kissed before…it just gives off no passion/bad sex/this was arranged by vibes and pressure. I know it’s just one moment and maybe they’re just shy, but AIBU to think you can tell when the chemistry isn’t there?

Me too, it has never once occurred to me to watch a couple kiss on their wedding day as I “needed to know” about their sexual chemistry and sex life and find the idea really disturbing thay anyone sits and does that.

I always think if a couple don't have sex at the top table before dessert, the their sex life is clearly vanilla.

Public confirmation of consumption of the marriage is important. If one or both the couple give a wink to their new in laws during it, you can assume there's especially good chemistry.

Haha most weddings I have been to have been in churches - no one is going to be kissing dramatically in front of a priest!

How weird.

some people just don’t like PDA or just generally performing in public.

Let me guess you like the voyeuristic nastiness that is Love Island.

In a few weeks DH and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. We are openly affectionate and DH still makes me feel as though I am the most desirable woman on earth. However, whenever I look at my wedding video and photos I cringe at the staged kisses. I have never forgotten how uncomfortable I felt. Kisses that are not spontaneous are never going to show 'chemistry' imo unless of course you are an actor or influencer or similar which I definitly am not!

A perfunctory quick kiss is all that’s required? I can’t see any opportunity to judge. It’s not an indicator of their sexual chemistry.

Btw, anything more that a quick kiss at the altar is dreadfully tasteless.

I'm not sure you can tell anything from the "first kiss" at a wedding. I would feel horribly awkward anyway and wouldn't do it. It could be just being camera-shy and not liking a lot of people looking. Personally I think the "first kiss" is a ridiculous idea anyway! We married with only our 2 DC for witnesses though and there was only 4 of us at the wedding - perfect!

What weddings are you going to where people kiss? I can only think of one in my entire life where they kissed after the service and that was a second wedding. It's terribly American isn't it (as they say in 4W&AF: 'you know, "You may now kiss the bride" isn't actually in the Book of Common Prayer'.). I would think most people don't want to do or watch PDAs.

I suspect it just reveals how comfortable a couple is kissing in front of an audience (including their parents!). My exH and I had great chemistry at our wedding, the vicar even mentioned how we looked at each other and we had a nice kiss (imo!). We had been together 8 years and he was having an affair less than a year after the wedding - so no, I don't think you can extrapolate anything from the kiss.

Bit weird to be stood in a church snogging the face off each other. A quick peck is sufficient.

There was no kiss during our service, Catholic Church - but we did have one in in the presbytery garden while posing for photos. The photographer captured it and it’s my favourite photo of the day.

No, it's a load of bollocks OP. Me and DP aren't really kissers, the only time we really do it is towards the end of really good sex. We're not married but I imagine if we had gotten married the kiss would have seemed quite forced, because it's just not really how we show affection for each other.

There was no ' wedding kiss' since this isn't (or wasn't then) part of the CofE service. If there had been, it would have been the quickest peck, not a full on snog. Funnily enough, looking back through our photos is far more revealing - there is pure happiness on both our faces in every one. We've been married almost 45 years and still adore the bones of each other.

Bernard and Lydia had a peck on the cheek at the altar in 4 Weddings iirc and she was a total nymphomaniac.

No. Its all in the eyes. I hate public displays of affection

I had never kissed anyone infront of my family before my wedding, wasn't super young but 24 and a bit awkward. I don't have a video of it so no idea how it looked but specifically remember being very conscious doing it so probably did look awkward. Just like the pictures of me walking down the aisle I look absolutely terrified like I am about to run away but it wasn't the marriage I was scared of, it was the walk up the aisle with everyone staring at me. The moment I got to the front I was fine. The photos still make me laugh.

13 years later and we have amazing chemistry and passion still...maybe just not with an audience!

You don’t need to justify to the op, instead it’s none of her business how good your sex life is, or the sex life of anyone’s wedding she attends and it’s utterly creepy she thinks she “needs to know” that.

Disagree, I didn't want to passionately snog in front of my family, kids and wedding guests. Not really the time or place.

Interesting perspective. I find the couples that are most overtly and publicly “lovey dovey” are generally the first to split up.

It happened recently. A couple of people who I know on FB who post long gushing tributes to each other every birthday, Christmas, etc. split up.

The two couples I know who’ve been married longest, half the time you’d think they were friends at best. No wild gestures, no rose petals and rainbows. They just have relationships that work well.

I think how comfortable a couple look in a wedding kiss photo tells me everything I need to know about how comfortable the couple are performing affection on instruction from the photographer.

We didn’t kiss at our wedding because the vicar didn’t include it in his services. TBH I was quite relieved as it meant none of that cringey cheering and hand clapping afterwards 🤣

There’s been plenty of kissing in the twenty five years since 😄

Same with us - priest didn’t include it in the ceremony thank god.

It is proper cringe.