To judge a couple’s chemistry based on their wedding kiss?

[PearlMember]

Sometimes I watch wedding videos or see pictures and can’t help but think that kiss told me everything I needed to know. The ones that look awkward, stiff, like they’ve never kissed before…it just gives off no passion/bad sex/this was arranged by vibes and pressure. I know it’s just one moment and maybe they’re just shy, but AIBU to think you can tell when the chemistry isn’t there?

This. Nobody wants to get passionate in front of their family!

Jesus Christ!

Wow, this is a hobby I could get behind!! Free drinks and food and in return major judgement on two people kissing in front of their friends and family. Where do I sign?!

Really? How about shyness in front of family???

This kind of inane madness makes me miss the m&s water buffalo troll

Creepy voyeur post of the year award. Who analyses the way people kiss at weddings?

Also who is going to passionately snog in front of their parents, the priest and Great Aunt Gladys?

Sorry, this post has made me feel grossed out.

First wedding there wasn't actually a kiss the bride moment so there wasn't one. I can't remember when we actually had a first married kiss on the day! Marriage didn't last very long.
Second one, it was a quick peck on the lips and a big hug. I would say the photography company knew it would be split second as they'd got to know us - they caught it! We are still going strong many years later.

We didnt kiss at all because we arent peforming fucking seals

You may kiss the bride isn't actually in the marriage service! DH wouldn't do it in front of.everyone in the church (I think we probably did when cutting the cake later). Sex life has always been pretty good!

yikes!

my husband doesnt dance but even he did the first dance with me

I think it was just a quick, stiff peck at our wedding.

I was utterly uncomfortable. Stuffed into a dress and a pair of heels for the sake of MIL (never worn heels in my life, or a dress). I felt terrible. Surrounded by people I didn’t know as the in-laws wanted their friends.

It wasn’t a good day for me at all, I was miserable.

oh, and his racist old grandma, who no one liked but invited so they would be kept in the Will, kept crying and whispering , “but she’s not one of us” through the whole thing (I’m a little bit Indian, I just look like I’ve got a tan ffs).

ETA - actually, we didn’t kiss at all. Just asked dh.

But it’s front of an audience and people they may not want to see them kiss? Hardly a reflection for a marriage

I literally can’t remember any of the kisses at weddings I’ve been to. Even my own. But then all the couples are still together (I think) so I’d have nothing to compare.

Ours was the most chaste awkward kiss you’ve ever seen. I look like something out of a Jane Austen novel blushing at a very prudish quick peck. We’ve been married 30 years and still happy and laughing together every day.

I would imagine that the public kisses on my wedding day looked stiff and awkward because I hate being the centre of attention. I was also incredibly stressed - I’d had to bring my wedding forward by 6 weeks as my dad was on palliative care in a hospice. I was also moving house and finishing my PGCE. I did not relax at all on the day… but am still happily married 25 years later.

Dont be so fucking rude. Its a discussion forum. People are allowed to talk about whatever they wish. Who on earth do you think you are with your condescending reply? Just ignore if it doesnt interest you.

Our fab vicar instructed us that ‘neither full frontal snogging nor a fraternal peck on the lips is appropriate’. We followed instructions.

To quote the Irish girl band B*Witched "Get a life!"

I’d say it shows the family dynamic more. Could be embarrassing for someone with a conservative family although you may be aware of that part if it’s folks you know

Totally agree OP. If they aren't tonguing at the top of the altar and trying to rip each others clothes off, it definitely tells everyone there is bad sex between them. Even the minister will tell you this.

Nope, DH and I didn’t kiss at all. It seemed very forced and performative and we were not comfortable with that. Didn’t even sit together to eat, we didn’t have assigned places, was just grab food from buffet and grab a seat at a table like everyone else. We just organically mingled and chatted which meant we were not tied at hip and didn’t feel need to sit together and just ‘crossed paths’ several times during the afternoon/night. Several kids and decades later, we are still happily together.

Don't agree at all. Weddings are really performative - the couple are the centre of attention, and some people feel really awkward in that situation. Of course they are going to look awkward.

Both DH and I are shy and introverts.We enjoyed our wedding for the party, the family and friends eating and drinking together, but walking down the aisle was my idea of a nightmare – I absolutely hated everyone looking at me. Nor did we enjoy kissing in front of loads of people or on camera. It's a very unnatural situation. So I'm sure you'd judge our marriage very harshly!

Luckily we've been married over 10yrs and have a fantastic relationship and sex life. Still shy – not going to change.

What do you mean it tells you everything you need to know. That’s one of the creepiest things ever, why on earth do you need to know about a couples sexual chemistry, <shudder>

Eh? The comment you quoted didn’t say anything remotely rude. I take it you’re the op if that upset you?

But I will say that op does need to get a life. Not just watching wedding videos of couples kissing and making ridiculous judgements about peoples relationships, butthen taking it to Mumsnet to ‘discuss’.

Sounds like insecurity to me.

i don’t think a couple’s chemistry is really my business. They just said they wanted to stay together for life in front of their family /friends , and sunk a big wodge of cash on a party to celebrate it. Who am I to question it?