Letting 10 year old boys watch violence

[ShivRoyston]

There is a thing in the news today bout teachers being trained to spot misogyny in boys- very laudable but surely it is going to be us parents who need to change what we do?

So, should we re—adjust what is acceptable violence for our children to watch? AIBU that my 10-13yrold boy should not be encouraged to watch 15 or 18 rated film or tv violence?

yabu- this is not a priblem
yanbu- we have normalised violence and we should reduce exposure to it

Showing anyone who is young, vulnerable and has their brain still developing violence isn’t the brightest idea.

This wasn't exactly rich with evidence, which women and girls are most vulnerable, how do the ages of perpetrators breakdown and what is their relation to one another? VAWG is incredibly complex and highly politicised, and I don't think we are being given accurate and full information on what the issues are.

@BlueJuniper94 do you think there is a problem?

Ofsted did a review a few years ago about child on child sexual abuse in schools which highlights some of the many concerning behaviours that are happening in schools

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges

I'm always amazed on here at people letting 5 year old watch the Jurassic world films, 9 year olds watch Stranger Things or 10 year olds watch Squid Game. I'm quite strict on ratings.

My DC (age 13 and 10) don't have phones either. You can't unsee something.

There are plenty of children able to consume mature content without issue.

A child doesn't automatically become mature enough to process certain content on the day of their 12/15/18th birthday. All children develop and mature at different rates.

"I don't think we are being given accurate and full information on what the issues are."

Why don't you think that? So do you think violence against women and girls isn't an issue?

It's so bizarre that people don't realise how exposing your child to something gory like Stranger Things or any violent film will be having an effect on your child.
Why else is marketing a multi million pound industry?
If I see an advert for a branded yoghurt, I might not jump up and straight away go to Co-op to purchase it, but next time I'm there, I'm likely to make a decision influenced by what I have seen.
Children might not get up and scream or have a nightmare that night when they something violent, but the imagery that they see is wiring their thinking.
There is so much evidence about how gaming effects actions in real life.
I am so careful of what my dc watch, even my teen. She knows that having seen a horror film at a friend's house was not a great idea.

And yet Osted are still happy with mixed sex toilets offering the ideal unsupervised environment to allow such behaviour.

I think violence in schools is out of control, robust measures to punish bullying and exclude offenders is what's needed not some milktoast classes.

I think it is an issue. I just don't believe this proposed "solution" are actually going to tackle the issue, and they know this

I think it's in their interest to obfuscate as much as possible here. The same people hand wringing about this are those who believe Elon Musk is a "threat to democracy" when he reanimated the matter of rape gangs (after the same people lauding Adolescence tried to brush said rape gangs under the carper)

@BlueJuniper94 what do you think the answer is?

It's very hard to exclude a pupil, and they can just move to another school. There is strict guidance in respect of exclusions and it can cost schools fines if they get it wrong

@sittingonabeachIt’s the case that a school con permanently exclude for a very serious offence, and they do. The behaviour policy will give some idea of how serious that has to be. Schools don’t do it lightly. There are no fines for schools excluding pupils but parents can win an appeal. It is also the case that all dc should receive an education so of course another school should be offered. No one fines a school for exclusions but there could ultimately be a judicial review.

You’ve contradicted your own post by saying plenty of people show mature content to children and acting like that’s ok?

Mature content is for mature people. Not children.

@OhDear111 thats why I said there could be fines if schools get an exclusion wrong

I think that developing children should learn that violence is not the norm. Unfortunately unpleasant behaviour murder rape and violence is a plot line for entertainment in a huge number of tv shows and films. I don’t think violence was as common and normalised say 30 years ago - though misogynistic views probably were more common…. Be interesting to see evidence in this- someone must monitor media…

@sittingonabeach How many exclusions each year go to judicial review? Any at all? It’s not a threat schools take seriously and most don’t need to.

No, I don’t come across this at all.

The 2 women murdered a week by men?

The attitude to women doesn’t begin with them being murderers, it starts much earlier

Who's letting their 10 year old watch 15 or 18 rated films anyway?

I guess you're young and weren't around when Jamie Bulger was murdered - by children!

Here's the info.

Utterly horrendous.

Murder of James Bulger - Wikipedia

If you've grown up watching extreme things, you will think they're normal until you're told otherwise.

I rang SS for a girl on our estate. She was running around telling groups of children very graphic things about sex - saying she watches it on TV and does things with her Daddy 😭🤢. She was talking about snorting white powders at home and licking some of it off. To her... all totally normal dinner time conversation. Nobody ever showed her a different way. So thats why these sort of PSHCE lessons at school are absolutely essential.

I hear what you are saying, but I don't think this is an issue that can be solved by schools. Particularly when those who most need this intervention are going to be further radicalised by this approach.

@BauhausOfEliott boys are excused a lot of things because they are boys and the expression “boys will be boys” is a common excuse for poor behaviour that’s not corrected. In fact some parents laud their boys for being like this. I’ve seen 7 yr old dc looking like mini thugs. It’s obvious some boys are not guided and probably take after their dads and repeat what the culture of the family is.

Sadly I agree this behaviour is too often praised…or if not actively praised it is excused with a knowing eye roll “ah I just let mine watch what they like” or “boys will be boys won’t they?” accompanied by a knowing kind of look maybe implying what is your problem stopping your child being into a bit of minor violence? It’s not a big deal don’t be precious etc.

I know a 12 year old that has been allowed to watch anything he wants, 18+ films, and for example, has seen every episode of Breaking Bad.

I think that's highly inappropriate and awful fucking parenting.

He has begun to say some very, very concerning misogynistic things. I don't think it's coincidence.

It makes me feel quite ill.