MIL driving me mad

[Christmasoutlaw]

Hosting 12 on Christmas Day including my two kids (4 & 2) and consisting mostly of DH’s family. MIL announced that she’ll be coming over to bake and decorate Christmas cookies on Christmas Eve with the kids as it’s “tradition” in their family (first I’ve ever heard of it) to which I politely said that wouldn’t work as it’s Christmas Eve and my kitchen will be busy.

I offered for the kids to go to her massive house which is only 10 minutes away if she was keen to do it to which she muttered she’d think about it and pulled a sad face. When DH got home from work later that evening, he told me his mum had called to say she’s coming over on the 23rd instead to bake these fucking cookies at our house.

DH is annoyingly thrilled as his mum makes sod all effort to see our kids and after a chat with her about her lack of involvement a month or so he’s taken this as an olive branch of effort on her part. I am pissed off because nobody in their right minds thinks baking with a 4 and a two year old together is going to be anything other than carnage which is not what I want to be supervising/clearing up two days before Christmas.

You’re going out to do some last minute shopping (or a wine with friends) while they do it surely?! Bye mil, have fun!

You absolutely have to go out!

Message MIL saying what a lovely idea but your kitchen will be in use in the lead up to Christmas with meal prep etc so you'll be dropping the kids round to her on the 23rd, don't ask, tell her. Leave the ball in her court. If she's so excited she'll be happy to bake with the kids wherever. If she pushes back saying that won't work suggest a date after the holidays that'll work for you then when she's baking with the kids have a day off to relax. Meet a friend for coffee or do something you don't usually have time to do. As you're leaving light heartedly say you expect the kitchen to be pristine when you get home so she knows not to leave a mess.

I think the OP was saying this was the first she had heard of it being a family tradition? Not that first she'd heard of biscuit decorating per se!

She thinks she's stepping up which is what he guilt tripped her into doing. He's being terribly entitled if he can't see why her taking over your kitchen on 23rd is OK. It's pretty much his domain to sort this out !

Are you going to tell us what happened? Please do !

I think the idea of a hotel sounds fine. If you feel you want to explain to MIL, text her or email.

Use the time alone to rest and think how you want to go forward in your marriage. If you don’t want to go straight to divorce, plan your strategy and tactic for relationship like it’s a high priority task at work.