To think budgeting culture has become joyless?

[ByNattyFinch]

Budgets are good.
Financial literacy is good.

But AIBU to think some people treat buying a hot drink like a moral failure? Life shouldn’t feel like a spreadsheet.

I think the tension comes from two places

one when people say they have no money, but really mean I have to prioritise my money as there isnt huge flexibility, and the person speaking to has different priorities.like I prefer small reguksr treats, someone else thinks saving for a holiday is better.

and the other when the person has not enough money and forgoes essentials to have a treat. Eg cant afford a prescription but do buy coffee.

I love a takeaway coffee. I buy one every day. Just a double espresso, perfect and a shot of happiness.

But there are some people who will say "oh you buy one every day? I couldn't afford that."

People who could definitely afford to spend £3 a day on something they really loved it's just they enjoy performing tightness.

Annoys me.

@berlinbaby2025, I don't see a cup of coffee on the hoof as a necessity.
If I was meeting a friend and wanted to sit and chat, I'd gladly pay it.

For something like a train journey, I'd take tap water in a bottle.
It's not really about the money, it's about the value.

@Pavementworrier , you get pleasure from it, and can afford it. Makes sense to have it. It's just £3.

I have a bean to cup machine at home and get that same double espresso for pennies… you can get an ok machine for £80. You’d have paid for it in 26 days. Less than a month. And you’d save £1000+ a year.

Maybe @Pavementworrier also enjoys being out when she has her coffee, and having someone else make it for her. It sounds like it is part of her routine.
Not everything can be replicated at home.

I have 2 coffees out every week and really enjoy the whole experience, the waitress's are lovely & and at the moment there's such a festive feeling but much more than that would begin to feel a bit so so and probably make me feel guilty of wasting cash! Big shout out to coffee shop staff too, you are STARS!

It's not a moral failure but it's a waste of money

It's only a waste of money if you don't enjoy it. If you enjoy it, it's money well spent. So it while it might be a waste of your money, it wouldn't be a waste of everyone's. For me, an hour in a coffee shop with a hot drink and a book is an excellent use of a few quid.

If I'm out and want a coffee I'll go buy one.
Funny story I once bought 4 coffees in the space of hour once.
And binned 3 of them, they didnt taste right, the 4th one was lovely.

@ByNattyFinch , I don't budget as such, but I try to keep an eye on whether or not I actually want or need to buy something.

@BauhausOfEliott , I agree. I don't enjoy the ones I drink when walking so don't bother.

I think it depends entirely on the financial situation of the individual.

On one end of the spectrum you have the extreme penny pinchers who think that every purchase that isn’t entirely necessary is a waste of money. At the other end, you’ve got people in debt, who are constantly complaining that they haven’t got any money, but will still buy a hot drink everyday.

Budgeting is like eating - we all need to do what suits us and not nag or tut at those who do it differently. It's pestering others about their choices that becomes joyless - and we don't always know what's going on in other people's lives.

"Performative Budgetting" I sort of get what you mean. I have been in the position of having to count every penny so I do understand that it can be an unpleasant necessity but yes for some people it seems to have become a moral virtue.

Budgeting doesn’t necessarily mean watching every penny. I have always done it as a way of not over spending or getting into debt and saving. I still buy coffees out/lunches/clothes/hair and nail appointments etc. Budgeting keeps me on track financially and I look for deals but I still go out for coffees etc with friends. What makes you think those that budget don’t?

I don’t see visiting a cafe as a pleasure in life at all! We’re all different 🤷‍♀️ Me and my friends would rather go for a decent walk with a flask.

Yes and no

As a pp says, it depends on how much money you actually have

Well yes. We are all different. I hate walking, and the weather has been shit lately. I prefer a cosy cafe and someone else making the drinks for me.

Do people actually care if other people buy hot drinks? It wouldn’t enter my head to even think about it. People can spend their money on whatever they like.
I happily treat myself to a coffee every now and then, but I wouldn’t waste money on a bottle of wine. Others might feel differently.

Agree with this. It's a treat so long as long as it fees like a treat.

A few comments about how people should take a flask or make coffee at home instead of going to cafes. It seems that some people do "care" (it is not really caring... more giving unsolicited advice).
Buying coffee out puts money back into the economy, and cafes going so keeps people in jobs.

@BluePeterAdventWreath , I do it so infrequently that it is a treat, but I'll usually try to make sure that the cafe is a really nice one. It's a bit more expensive but more memorable.
Just sitting in a chain coffee bar wouldn't be the same.

It shouldn’t but it does if you do have to account for every penny. Life is very expensive, jobs are very insecure, a lot of people can’t afford to risk frittering away their money on frivolities.

Buying the odd hot drink and treats like that are the very point of doing my job and having had the luck, drive, initiative and intelligence to get to the role I'm in. I work to live, every day, and enjoy nice things, not to feel virtuous huddling round an instant coffee in a cheap mug, watching savings mount up I might die before I get to enjoy.

I’m a Starbucks “Gold” member, and Costa have just sent me a birthday present.

The woman at our local drive thru tells me what I’d like when I pull up.

I am not ashamed of any of the above 😂

Agree

We have specific money set aside for treats so we know we can afford them and won't rob anything else by having those small treats

Having to account for every single penny in order to still not cover the absolute basics does feel incredibly joyless. Those of you who take more than your fair share don't usually care so long as it's someone else doing the scrimping. Are you now carping that you shouldn't even have to see the inequalities you benefit from?