To think budgeting culture has become joyless?

[ByNattyFinch]

Budgets are good.
Financial literacy is good.

But AIBU to think some people treat buying a hot drink like a moral failure? Life shouldn’t feel like a spreadsheet.

Buying a coffee every day is not the same as being an alcoholic.

It was a silly comparison. Daily coffees do not destroy lives and those around them.

@ByNattyFinch - I think there is nothing wrong with budgeting in a treat now and then - as long as you can afford it. Life can be hard enough - the occasional unnecessary coffee etc cheers things up a bit, and that is a good thing, in my opinion.

When I work a 12 hour shift I treat myself to a hot meal in the canteen as well as bringing in a packup. Having being skint beyond skint I see how this could be viewed as frivolous but I am thankful that I am now in a position to do this, especially in cold weather.

I'm very fortunate in not having to count the pennies, but with coffees, a pastry, lunch, cold drinks and snacks, I found myself spending nearly 50 quid a day without even thinking about it going to work in London.

I started a little pot in my Monzo account, bought some nice coffee and multi packs of Coke Zero/biscuits/Haribo etc for the office, now every time I have one, I put the equivalent of what I'd have spent going out for it in the pot.

Calling going for a coffee a 'moral failure' is obviously ridiculous. I can see how some people would consider it a waste of money, but it's not a waste if you enjoy it.

Some people have no choice.

We once go ourselves out of a financial pickle years ago by watching every penny and writing down every single thing we bought. We bought essentials only. It wasn't at all joyless, we were excited about taking back control. and we have never been in debt again since.

I worked with a debt management charity and it really opened my eyes to 'poverty'. Families with next to no money buying a shit load of unnecessary stuff on loans, takeaways, coffees. And if I had a pound for every time a woman said " I don't spend any money on myself" then I went through the statements and there was hair/nails/sunbeds. Some people are in poverty through no fault of their own, and others will be in poverty if they have £10k a month. And many of them say they know they shouldn't do it, but they want/deserve/need the things.

It feels like there's a new one of these posts every day. The phrasing is such a giveaway.

You do you. I’m happy with my spreadsheet and my budget and being able to buy a (small) house without a mortgage.

They are just so overpriced and feel like a rip off now. I can usually make a better drink at home.

I used to buy one most days but now would be once every few months because of the price hike.

Exactly this! Being in financial control and not in debt is anything but joyless!

I find it weird that takeaway coffees are always the thing that get demonised.

I buy a takeaway coffee most days - if I’m commuting it’s nice to have one on the commute in, and if I’m working from home I like getting out of the house, walking into town and buying a coffee.

I’m fully numerate and so know I spend over £1000 a year on coffee. That’s absolutely fine by me. There’s other things I never or hardly ever buy. I rarely drink alcohol so spend very little on that. I get my hair cut once or twice a year, and never get it coloured.

Yet threads like these never focus on the woman who pays over £100 every six weeks for a hair cut, or gets frequent other beauty treatments. It’s always about the bloody takeaway coffee.

We all make choices and I’m lucky in that I can afford a daily takeaway coffee. And no, a Thermos from my house just won’t cut it!

But takeaway coffees are generally pretty awful. I can make much better with my stove top Bialetti which I drink before I leave. It’s not necessary to waste a grand a year on coffee. Fine do it but it doesn’t buy you better coffee.

I think people mention coffees as shorthand for all manner of unnecessary treats that people often spend more than they realise on, which are fine if you can afford it but worth looking at if you 'don't know where all your money goes' or 'don't understand why you can't afford a holiday/house deposit etc'

Because you can't spend each pound more than once and quite often it's not just coffee, it's also lunches, beauty treatments, phone contracts, car leases tc etc that can add up to hundreds of pounds a month, thousands of pounds a year or a house deposit in under 5 years.

You could say that about anything though. Why go to the pub with friends when you could invite them round and have the exact same beer and wine for a fraction of the cost, saving yourself £1,000+ a year. After all, it’s the same alcohol and the same friends.

Some people put value on a coffee on the train that they haven’t had to make themselves. Some people prefer the buzz of a pub or bar to someone’s home.

Horses for courses.

It's also a pretty crap experience in many cases, queuing up for ages to squint at a menu that only gives a vague indication of what's on offer and how much it costs, only to be met by a barrage of questions designed to extract even more money from you for a lukewarm coffee that drink at a grubby table next to loud people who seem to think everyone wants to hear their conversation.

But why do people need permission to do things, if people want to buy a hot drink do so people dont need permission, this never ending blaming society or 'culture' because can't make their own choices gets boring

Sure, but I’m not a snob and on a cold morning I want a nice hot cappuccino with caramel and chocolate.

I think some people are resigned to the fact they will never afford to buy a house, so are not aiming to save tens of thousands for a deposit.

I agree, but Caffè Nero is the exception to Starbucks and the like. Most of the coffee at the independent coffee shops in my city sell amazing coffee. Also, it’s not just about the taste - it’s looking forward to it, having time alone, a change of scenery, a chance to read or catch up doing something else for half an hour.

I wonder if the price gap is what people can’t get their head around - 20p or so per cup to make it yourself vs £3.30 at Caffè Nero.

Hello, I’m one such person!

Yet threads like these never focus on the woman who pays over £100 every six weeks for a hair cut, or gets frequent other beauty treatments. It’s always about the bloody takeaway coffee.

To be fair, in any thread about beauty treatments etc loads of people do always pile in with “What silly frivolous nonsense, complete waste of time and money, I wash my face in piss and vinegar and my six-year-old cuts my hair once a year with garden shears and everyone says I have great skin, my DH much prefers me looking like a shorn sheep anyway”.

Some people are really fucking weird about other people’s choices and I can’t really fathom why they can’t just accept that different people enjoy different things and that value for money is therefore dependent on personal preference. I hope you continue to enjoy your takeaway coffees; you’re perfectly entitled to spend as much as you want on them and people who insist on offering unsolicited advice or telling you your personal preference is somehow worse than theirs are, not to put too fine a point on it, cunts.

We all make choices and I’m lucky in that I can afford a daily takeaway coffee. And no, a Thermos from my house just won’t cut it!

I don’t often buy drinks to take away; I tend to sit in. But yes; I find all hot drinks from a Thermos, insulated cup etc vaguely unpleasant. I don’t know why. Those metal cups with lids… the actual worst, for me.

The ‘just have a hot drink at home before you go out’ advice also seems to be from people who don’t understand that I am always going to be consuming a hell of a lot more than one hot drink per day. The hot drink I drink in a cafe is much more likely to be consumed mid-afternoon, when I’ll already have had about eight cups of tea that I made for myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s not snobby to think a cappuccino with syrupy artificial caramel and chocolate is not desirable at all and a complete waste of money.

If it brings the purchaser joy, does it matter?