Aibu does anyone else get annoyed getting the same gift every year?

[grinchmcgrinchface]

lighthearted!

Every year for my birthday & christmas my parents buy me perfume & slippers. Nothing else just those two items to the point I have ten pairs of slippers I have never worn and twelve boxes of perfume
never opened - always the same perfume too.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but it’s at that point where I don’t even want to open them as I know what they are. im not even a big slippers or perfume fan so I am a bit perplexed why its always the same thing. 😂

AIBU to ask them not to give me gifts in the future and to save their money? I dont want to seem ungrateful but it seems like such a waste!
Anyone else get the exact same gifts every birthday/xmas?

Is it the same perfume every year? Or different perfumes none of them asked for? I ask because it’s such a personal gift and I would never buy it for anyone unless I knew exactly what they wanted. Maybe suggest one you do like for this year (or next if you think it’s too late now).
I would have no problem with making it known early on ‘please no perfume or slippers this year as I have all I need’.

If there are any women's refuges near you OP, I'm sure they'd be very grateful for both.

Hint? Tell get directly! ‘Mum I have loads unopened of this can I have the receipt to return it? And I have several pairs of slippers I’ve never worn’! Better yet tell her before she buys. You won’t hurt their feelings. But if you did better than them wasting their money every year.

If you haven't said anything, they're probably assuming that you're delighted to receive a top up of your favorite perfume and some comfy slippers every year.

You can be diplomatic about it, just tell them you've got a backlog and you don't want it to go to waste. If you're that worried about hurting their feelings, make up a little white lie about them changing the ingredients and you not liking the new smell.

Point is, if you keep smiling and thanking them, they'll assume that they're getting it right. Don't assume that they're not being thoughtful.

Every year off MIL a box of hero's, a dove set and money. I'm on WLI so dp told her no chocolate. Guess what I have for Christmas..... I love her to bits though! She's an amazing Mam 😊

Every year my brother asks for a list from me and then delights himself by going off list and buying some weird stuff I've never shown an interest in eating/reading/wearing because "it's better." Better than the thing I asked for, because I actually wanted it?

I get a Baylis & Harding gift set every year from my Mum because she is convinced i really like it

I always get a Bayliss and Harding gift set 🥱 🥱 I really don’t need another one 😂

My DH's parents used to buy him the same aftershave gift set every year. He doesn't even like the aftershave, so just put it away.

We did a clear out earlier this year as we are selling our house and DH found them all and there were 6 boxes of them there 😂All brand new, unused and unopened. He gave them to a charity shop in our local town.

Have you told her you don't?

Don't you use it though?
Isn't just bubble bath/shower gel?
It would be used up before the end of January in my house 😂

I can’t really tell her I don’t because that would mean saying that I have not liked the last 10 years of presents. Do people seriously get a present and say thanks but please don’t buy me that again?! I try to give her other suggestions.

It is normally soap and hand cream, the soap does get used (it’s just bog standard soap) but the hand cream is horrible and hangs around for ages till I throw it out.

Sometimes different ones but mostly the same. I dont even like them. 😂 im not a perfume person at all just makes me cough, perfer body spray!

Nip it in the bud? It’s been going on for over a decade and is now a fully grown tree.

Yes I get the same gift from:

DM - book token = best present ever
DMIL - historical novel = genre I never read, I have patiently explained this every year so this goes straight to the book donation point in Tesco

Every year I give DB and DSIL book tokens and a hamper. Last year I suggested I might do something different, they begged me not to and said that they spend all December debating which books to buy and all January eating the goodies and reading the books. They said it's the best gift they get!

We play 'Xmas Present Bingo' when MIL hands out her gifts. Each of us gets a selection from the same list every year. None of it is expensive but I'm sure it adds up to quite a bit and it's all things she probably likes but don't use. DH has tried asking her to take us out for a meal instead (but she takes us out and still gets the stuff 'to unwrap'), telling her a specific item each of us would like (we get something similar that she thinks is better plus the usual selection) and telling her we don't have space for any more stuff (she points out things in our house she thinks should go to make room). So we've given up and secretly make a game of it then take anything we really can't use to the charity shop.

@badkitty it's probably better to raise it around October/November time when people are starting to plan.
Just (politely) say you don't really like the products/scents anymore and you'd rather not have them again.

@petitpasta why not actually read the historical novel....you might enjoy the book.

Why don’t you just
sell the mountain of slippers and perfume you have and buy yourself something nice?

This.
Surely if you can be honest with someone it would be your parents.
Just say I have loads of that now … can you get me this please 🤷🏻‍♀️

Then say that 🤦🏻‍♀️

Same. Think people just don’t use it out of spite!

I have. Many times! 😂 I even gave her a list this year!

Spent a fortune on DH’s family this year as we
do every year (thoughtful tailored gifts for each person coming to around (£240 total spend) and tonight received our Christmas gift of paint your partner portrait set. Basically a box ordered from Etsy with an £1 hobby craft easel and super thin canvas, contents worth around a tenner if even. It’s
went straight into the recycling. We are both approaching 40, have a baby due in the next week, zero interest in painting.

A Tesco voucher for a tenner, a take away voucher or even just some second hand crime books from the charity shop would have been better and meant more. It’s not the money but the absolute lack of
thought and fact they and their kids will ask for a specific pricy nice gift and we get rubbish like that which has got progressively worse over the past 7 years.

Next year I’m going to suggest charity donations instead of gifts, as it creates so much resentment for me and DH is embarrassed and perplexed at how every year it gets worse.

Last year was £40 voucher for a restaurant 60 miles away from our home, that closes on weekends when we both work 9-5 Monday
to Friday. So yes OP feel you completely I’d rather nothing than tat or things I can’t use.

You definitely don’t know how family dynamics differ! I can’t laugh and be honest with my mum. She’d either take it personally and get upset and think I’m ungrateful and be passive aggressive.