Do you have a Christmas dinner on Christmas Day? AIBU to politely decline

[unsureforevermore]

We always do and to be honest the kids very much look forward to it! We’ve been invited to the in-laws this Christmas however I’ve just discovered that they are doing a hot and cold buffet!!
This is not what I signed up for hahaha I had reached out to offer to do starters or veg etc or roasties etc and been told it’s ok no need it’s a buffet.

AIBU to decline now??

I’d go and do a Christmas dinner at home the day before / after

My DH has 2 DS all 2 years apart in age when they were little my MIL started doing the traditional Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve & just doing a “small spread” with leftovers & picky bits on Christmas Day… she said when they were little the children didn’t want to sit at the dining table for a big meal and miss out on playing with toys & cousins.

Shes carried this on & it’s great, we don’t do Christmas at there’s every year, but I enjoy it when I do.

Have a traditional Christmas dinner on another day as suggested by some others. Don't decline just because someone has different food.

@CantthinkofadifferentnameRoast dinner and Christmas dinner are NOT the same thing! 😳

But does everyone who’s coming, love seafood? Or is that just your preference? I’d personally refuse an invite anywhere, if that was the only food on offer.

If it's 21 people I can see why it's a buffet. Given that I'd just say we will come on Xmas day to see folks and say hi and have a starter and then we'll be back off to ours to have the mains and dessert ie Xmas dinner.

Or if the buffet is late, have an earlier xmas dinner and then dont bother eating at the buffet. No one will notice or care given it's so many people

My god. The 6% Irish in me would have had a meltdown and the other 94% of me quickly following suit. Please tell me you’ve gone low contact lol

You’re allowed to enjoy Christmas done the way you like. I am not generally a traditionalist but seeing as I work Xmas eve I would not be making a full Xmas dinner on Xmas eve. Xmas day to me is absolutely all about feasting with my family after the busiest period at work and ‘can’t really be arsed’ dinners for weeks. I enjoy the cooking and i really look forward to it. A buffet just isn’t the same.

I agree, the 21 people is a major drip feed, and very few can do a complete sit down served up Xmas dinner for 21 people. The likely hood is there will be elements of the Xmas dinner there anyway,

I'd love a buffet!

As others suggested, do your trad Christmas Dinner on a different day.

I tend to have different celebrations with different people across the whole of the Xmas period, I think that's common for most of us. So easy enough to sly in a roast, when you are celebrating with others who also enjoy one! X

Just have your lunch at home and join them later.

21 for a roast dinner is hard to cater for.

I did 23 for 7 years and it was a military operation to get it all cooked and served up.

When my DC were young, I very quickly changed having the main dinner to Christmas Eve. Christmas day they were always tired from waking up so early, they'd snacked on chocolate from their stockings, I was knackered having waited for them to fall asleep to do stockings and then being up early! No one properly enjoyed the dinner.

I much prefer doing it Christmas Eve, means Christmas day is lovely and relaxed. DC are adults now and I did ask a couple of years back if they wanted to change it to Christmas Day instead and got a firm no!

Just have your dinner on Christmas Eve (or boxing day if you prefer) and enjoy not having to cook on the day!

For years we didn't eat Christmas Dinner so it is survivable. I'd do one on Christmas Eve for yourselves and then do the traditional boxing day bubble and squeak mash up.

I can comfortably seat 10 people for a Christmas dinner but that’s my limit I think most couldn’t seat 21. What time are they planning this buffet? I would be doing an early Christmas dinner for midday not too huge portions and then as a buffet for so many just eat a little.

the fact you’re on here complaining op. Did you really think she was going to do a full sit down Xmas dinner for 21 people? You actually thought that?

look if Xmas dinner, on the actual day is so important to you then make yourself one, then go later, if it’s not so important to your immediate family they can go and spend time with their loved ones whilst you tuck in.

enjoy.

I wouldn't not go, just because the food isn't what you'd chose to serve. Just do it a different day.

We're doing our "big" christmas dinner on boxing day, just because that's the day the family are all coming round. We're having a salmon en croute for actual Christmas Day!

I’d be gutted!

But I would do a candle lit Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve instead. Put on Christmas music , set the table to suit, have fizz beforehand, the whole works. Christmas Eve is a lovely time esp if you are not stressing about a major catering job the next morning.

Any time after dark if your kids are young.

We have our Christmas Dinner in the evening anyway, it seems more romantic and leaves the day for playing, etc while different adults take a sociable turn in the kitchen doing a relaxed prep.

I love a buffet 😂

I get your point food/tradition wise, though was very confused by the family dynamics portion! Those dynamics aside, I can get why you'd have a buffet for 21 people.

When I've spent Christmas day with family with relatives from other countries there is no traditional roast, so now I've come to anticipate that I just schedule the meal I want at home on any day between 24th - 26th (the day we're not guests). I would feel hard done by if I didn't have my traditional Christmas meal at all, but not bothered which day it falls on now.

I think the first year it can be a shock to the system if you were counting on things going down a certain way! Sounds like you don't spend every year with DH's family in any case so maybe just one to suck up, if there are other benefits to spending the day there?

I would just switch it up. They’re doing a Boxing Day lunch. So you do Christmas dinner on Boxing Day

Surely it depends what’s in the buffet? Do xmas dinner boxing day or 24th.

Just go and enjoy the day and then do your own Christmas dinner on Boxing Day. There’s no law against it. Be a rebel!

No initially it wasn’t meant to be for 21 it was meant to be for 10 but now other sibling coming etc as 3 siblings and their parents in laws

anyway I think I’m just going to either do Xmas Eve or Boxing Day much to my dismay 🤣🤣🤣

Christmas isn't Christmas without a Christmas dinner. I'd be gutted too.

I totally understand your feelings OP. Can you see it as a family day and appreciate someone else providing the meal? Then turn to on Boxing Day and have your (and my) traditional spread? Maybe keeping back a present or 2 to keep it special?