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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave toddler in the car while I collect sibling from school?

152 replies

peekabooiseeyouhere · 17/12/2025 15:00

For context, small rural school, not a dangerous area in the slightest.

Caveat, haven’t done this yet. But it would make life a lot easier …

OP posts:
pontipinemum · 17/12/2025 16:22

No, and only because around aged 2 my son learnt how to get his seat buckle off!!

I left the baby in the car a few time to collect the 2 year old though, when he was really small and sleeping. The nursery car park is right by the door and not on the road. Private car park area.

Aquabluemouse · 17/12/2025 16:22

How far is the car parked from the school gates/where you would be standing? I used to teach at a school where the parents waited about 10 metres from a number of car parking spaces so a child could be left in the car and the parent watch the car whilst also waiting for their child to come out of school. So if it was this kind of setup then there is no reason why you couldn’t leave a toddler in the car (strapped into their seat).

However, if you were parking out of the line of sight of your car and would be leaving the dc unattended for any length of time then you absolutely shouldn’t do this. Anything could happen in that time and it will never be worth the risk.

ThePoshUns · 17/12/2025 16:22

My toddler always used to fall asleep in the car when I was picking up my older child. I did leave him in the car, sleeping and locked in.
I would leave it to the last minute run to the gate, grab my child and run back.
The only other people around were other parents and I was sure none of them would abduct the baby. He always slept. Probably happened a handful of times. No harm done.

KarmenPQZ · 17/12/2025 16:23

I have kids but admittedly no car. I just don’t see what circumstances it’s worth leaving a kid in a car for a couple of minutes. Surely just take them.

you say it’s bad weather but I can’t comprehend weather bad enough that would make me leave my child in the car for some rain / wind / cold if it’s literally going to to be 2 mins just carry then and have a laugh about how wet you got… you’re not going to wash away are you?

StephensLass1977 · 17/12/2025 16:25

I don't leave my dogs in the car while popping to the shops in case:

  1. Some idiot crashes into the parked car,
  2. Spontaneous car fire (as a pp said, I have also seen this happen)
  3. Abduction

All three are unlikely, yet possible.

YourLoyalPlumOP · 17/12/2025 16:30

Absolutely never ever

I mean the obvious th car could get stolen

bit all someone did that here and the kids freaked out and managed to somehow Strangle themselves.

YourLoyalPlumOP · 17/12/2025 16:30

peekabooiseeyouhere · 17/12/2025 15:04

Why? Plenty of people do it and no one’s reported them.

Normally I do take her with me but the weather is awful today.

Show quote history

Absolutely never ever

I mean the obvious th car could get stolen

bit all someone did that here and the kids freaked out and managed to somehow Strangle themselves.

also have the risk of fire. Also have the risk you get hit by a car.

I mean there’s so many variables.

TheatricalLife · 17/12/2025 16:33

I wouldn't personally.
Yesterday I was at the petrol station filling up and there was a camper van diagonally behind me with a little boy, I would say age two at the most, in the front seat in his car seat. His grandparent went inside to pay leaving him inside. He suddenly disappeared from view and I could hear him wailing. He'd managed to unbuckle and fall into the footwell, banging his nose and lip on the dash. I quickly put the pump away and waved at the petrol station lady while signalling at the van -luckily she got that I was trying to get hold of the gran and she came out and unlocked the van. He was fine apart from a bloody lip. She said he'd never done that before, but there's always a first time. Even if you think people are not the issue in a rural area, kids can press and poke things and hurt themselves in all sorts of ways. My friends child once took a massive bite out of one of those jelly air freshener things! I always took DS out to pick up DD when they were little, even though it could be a pain in the arse to get him back in after the excitement of the playground.

momager1 · 17/12/2025 16:35

all these people screaming NO.. come on.. if baby or toddler is sleeping and you are in eyesight of car, or horrible weather like @peekabooiseeyouhere says it is today, there is nothing wrong with this. Caveat.. if it was incredibly hot, no. As I would not leave car running . but cool rainy day, car in sight? crack a window enough for air flow (but not enough for anyone to reach in and unlock) and go get other child. If you need to leave car running, or cannot see car..NOPE absolutely not.

SchrodingersKoala · 17/12/2025 16:35

Why would you leave them in the car though? How hard is it really to get them out the car? I had 3 children 4 and under at 1 point, might have been easier to leave them in the car and do all manner of things but we didn't. I'm not sure why getting 1 toddler out the car is such hardship anyway? Unless you are lazy or something?

YourLoyalPlumOP · 17/12/2025 16:36

I work with the police and fire as an emergency service

car fires are really horrific. Can happen in seconds. Happens a lot. Way more than you think

there also super quick. Paul walker for example showed you how quick a fire can move through the car if you read the police report. Yes he crashed. But I’m talking how quick it ravaged the car.

tara66 · 17/12/2025 16:38

OP- EVERYONE knows this is a BIG - NO!!

Farmwifefarmlife · 17/12/2025 16:42

I can see the car and leave my two in the car in bad weather I’m not a chatty school mom though and I’m first / last so it’s pretty quick. Both have awful colds and weathers awful. No one else does though but they are there 10 /15 mins before me getting rain covers on pushchairs and battling toddlers into coats!

Original poster
peekabooiseeyouhere · 17/12/2025 16:42

SchrodingersKoala · 17/12/2025 16:35

Why would you leave them in the car though? How hard is it really to get them out the car? I had 3 children 4 and under at 1 point, might have been easier to leave them in the car and do all manner of things but we didn't. I'm not sure why getting 1 toddler out the car is such hardship anyway? Unless you are lazy or something?

It’s more the weather. But in general, it’s a lot easier to just run to the gate myself, get ds and run back than get a toddler out, carry her, run back and get them both in the car on a narrow pavement with other people trying to get by.

DH occasionally wfh so I can do the school run alone. It always feels like a holiday!

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 17/12/2025 16:55

Badsanta12 · 17/12/2025 15:23

Agree with this I live in a rural area but would have to park on the road and would worry about my car being bumped.

But this seems like one of those threads where OP is going to do it anyway?

Show quote history

Exactly this.

As for the posters saying 'when I were a lad we used to be left out in the garden in the pram for hours on end, and in the car while me mum did a full weekly shop,' bully for you. Lots of things that were 'acceptable' some decades ago are not now. I can't believe some people are condoning what the OP wants to do.. (And she knows it's wrong anyway, or she wouldn't have posted on here asking if she is being unreasonable.)

But yeah, it looks like the OP intends on doing it anyway, so nothing to see here. She was just looking for a couple of posters to say 'yeahhh, that's FINE OP!' Even if 90% of the posters say 'no don't do that,' she will go ahead and do it anyway, if just a couple of people say it's OK; because she is seeing them (agreeing with her) as right, and the ones disagreeing with her as wrong.

peekabooiseeyouhere · 17/12/2025 17:11

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Potaytoecake · 17/12/2025 17:19

Quite common here (v. rural)… but mine could escape his seat and release the electronic handbrake on our car 🙄 I witnessed this stood by the door which was thankfully open so I could stop the car rolling down a hill 😳

He couldn’t release an old school handbrake, so I didn’t foresee the issue when the car got replaced 😑

XWKD · 17/12/2025 17:20

peekabooiseeyouhere · 17/12/2025 16:18

I think it must be area and maybe even school dependent. Plenty of parents do it here. I’m not for a moment doubting you - just goes to show there’s a different sort of feel in many places.

At my local school I wouldn't think of doing this, but at my friend's school it would be fine.

johntorodesfatcheeks · 17/12/2025 17:20

Normally in this scenario when people start twittering on about distance, line of sight, the environment etc then it’s to try and rationalise or justify something which if it were acceptable would simply require a yes.
This isn’t so it does. Enough said.

MyNewCoat · 17/12/2025 17:24

It’s a no from me.

My 4yo was able to lift the handbrake in my car. Luckily we were parked and I was there.

Look at it this way:

If your child is mischievous then obviously no, it’s unsafe.

If your child is well-behaved, then how hard is it to just take them with you?

vanillalattes · 17/12/2025 17:24

tara66 · 17/12/2025 16:38

OP- EVERYONE knows this is a BIG - NO!!

Clearly not, though, because several of us have said it happens outside their local school and nursery on a daily basis.

Honestly, I think it must be area dependent. We also have 8yo children walking to/from school and going to the park alone here, but I've read lots of threads here where parents panic at the idea of an 11yo doing those things.

GalaxyJam · 17/12/2025 17:26

vanillalattes · 17/12/2025 17:24

Clearly not, though, because several of us have said it happens outside their local school and nursery on a daily basis.

Honestly, I think it must be area dependent. We also have 8yo children walking to/from school and going to the park alone here, but I've read lots of threads here where parents panic at the idea of an 11yo doing those things.

Show quote history

Where I am children tend to walk to school and back with friends from the start of year 5 (so 9ish) and ‘play out’ alone from around the same age. No toddlers left in cars.

Original poster
peekabooiseeyouhere · 17/12/2025 17:27

vanillalattes · 17/12/2025 17:24

Clearly not, though, because several of us have said it happens outside their local school and nursery on a daily basis.

Honestly, I think it must be area dependent. We also have 8yo children walking to/from school and going to the park alone here, but I've read lots of threads here where parents panic at the idea of an 11yo doing those things.

Show quote history

Yes, I think it is. And in fairness I wouldn’t (for example) have left my children in the car outside the primary school I went to. But I never lock the car, leave my phone in it, when dropping off and picking up, which I also wouldn’t do outside the primary school I went to …

OP posts:
givemushypeasachance · 17/12/2025 17:28

If your child was in the care of a childminder, would you be happy with them leaving the child locked in their car while they went to do something? Because if a childminder told Ofsted that was what they did, they'd be found in breach of the legal regulations for looking after children.

That's not a universal answer for "is it right or wrong" because a parent can hit a child and a childminder absolutely cannot, but perhaps it's a sign that it's not the best practice.