To leave toddler in the car while I collect sibling from school?

[peekabooiseeyouhere]

For context, small rural school, not a dangerous area in the slightest.

Caveat, haven’t done this yet. But it would make life a lot easier …

Is said toddler portable?

If you are parking so close to the school that you can complete pick up in 2 minutes, then wouldn't it be better to get your school age child to walk out to the car?

YABU just take your toddler out of the car. My mum still remembers when she was younger the people across the road from her left their
child and their friend playing in the car on the driveway and the car burst into flames no
one could get them out of the car they had no
choice but to watch as the car burnt. It might only be 2 minutes but that 2 minutes is all it takes for your car to go up in flames.

At some schools, you have to walk into the school to do pickup. At other schools like my dc's, the children get released at a gate.

If I manage to get a parking space that's right by the gate, I do this, and just stand near the car and near enough the gate so the teacher can see me to release dc1. If it's across the road or round a corner then I don't.

If you have a baby/toddler who is difficult with naps, you'll understand.

Your parenting decision should be based on risk of harm not risk of judgement.

Of course that can happen, lots of things can happen, you take your child in the car with you, you and they could both die on every journey you make. But you still do it. Every time you feed your child, or yourself, you could choke. A young healthy sober sibling of a colleague choked to death on pizza - i still eat pizza and allow my dd to eat pizza.

There is a very very low risk of any harm coming to a toddler left in the car for a short time (car fire) and there's a very very low risk of harm coming to a toddler being taken from the car to the school gate (hit by a car). It makes no difference which tiny risk OP takes, it's just on Mumsnet there is an obsession with bad things happening to parked cars.

Wow - what an irresponsible attitude!

No don’t be stupid. Not to mention the staff at the school would be raising eyebrows at this.

I wouldn't leave a toddler in this situation OP.

Not really. Every single parent does it here - I guess the school should report the lot of them to social services?

I doubt they'd even know, would they?

there is an obsession with bad things happening to parked cars

Yes and actually, the risk of your toddler getting hit by another car in a busy car park (if applicable) or on a busy road is much more likely than a car hitting another parked car or your car spontaneously bursting into flames.

Toddlers are short and dart around unpredictably. They are generally safer inside a parked car than out of it, for very short periods.

I don't have toddlers but I've seen lots of parents leave littles in the car, run in and grab older kids. It's absolutely pissing down ( atmospheric River!) I don't blame them one bit and I doubt anyone else is judging either.

Exactly. It's much more dangerous to get your child out and on the road.

Yes. HTH.

The road we have to park on does get very busy at peak times of the day, too.

She came in with me (gave me no choice in the matter!) but I did see another mum who said ‘I’ve left (her ds) in the car so he doesn’t get soaked!’

I can quite see that if your school drop off was somewhere very busy or urban you’d have a different view.

I’m not disputing this, but was thinking about why it feels somehow worse to take the risk of leaving the child alone, and I think it boils down to this.. if I take my toddler out of the car with me I still have some control. If they bolt, I can grab them. If a car comes flying towards us, I may have time to react and drag us out of the way. If something happens when they’re alone in the car, I can’t do a single thing to help because I’m not there. And if something bad happens to the child there’s no one there to reassure them. Im not saying it’s rational at all, that’s just how I feel about it.

I’d do it. Having a disabled toddler for whom getting her out of the car and taking her somewhere for the sake of a few minutes was an utter ball ache, really sharpens the mind when it comes to assessing risks.

Research shows the main risk being left in cars on hot days. The number of cars stolen with children inside is vanishingly rare, most car thieves aren’t so stupid they would do this. If you remove anything the child can harm themselves with, the child is at far more risk out of the car than in it. It seems the main reason people don’t do it is because they fear what other people will say about them.

Absolutely no!

I thought this was an urban myth until I saw it happen with a fairly new car in a supermarket car park.

I would call the police if I saw a toddler alone in a car

Same

Yes of course if it's two minutes. I had twins and had to do this every day. If I couldn't get parking really nearby I would wait and be last in so I could park really near and the car would be visible. I'd see mums with single babies running with baby on their hip but with twins I'd have to get the double buggy out. One baby gets wet while the second is being strapped in. Both are likely to be upset because they want to be lifted. I would then collect a little kid and spend anything from 5 minutes to an hour dealing with one or two toddler melt downs and snacks and drinks and nappies. Leaving the car for two minutes was better for the well being of all 4 of us.

See I genuinely don’t know a single person that would do it and I’ve never seen any of the parents at my kids’ school do it either. I walk along a road of parked cars before pickup which are all parents (small rural village) and I have never seen a toddler or baby left in the car. I do see plenty of mums walking from the car with double/ triple buggies though.

It may be an example of learned behaviours- where you see someone else doing it and then automatically assume it’s fine, without assessing the risks yourself.

I think it must be area and maybe even school dependent. Plenty of parents do it here. I’m not for a moment doubting you - just goes to show there’s a different sort of feel in many places.

Yes, I’ve been doing a primary school run for 9 years solid now (3 kids) and it’s not something ever seen at our school. Lots of people with pushchairs/slings/babies and toddlers on hips etc but I’ve never seen a baby or toddler alone in a parked car.