Christmas alone on 'bed rest'. Any tips?

[123456789xyz]

I don't want to drip feed but also don't want to be too outing so will try to keep details general.

My mother died a few months ago and we decided (me, Dad, siblings) to boycott Christmas and go away for a holiday somewhere far away and warm. I've been looking forward to it for months, especially as my father (who is basically allergic to the cold) and siblings all went away on similarly exotic month-long trips on Boxing Day the last several years in a row and I stayed to care for Mum.

Long story short, my health collapsed a few weeks ago and I'm not fit to fly. I've told them to go without me. They leave tomorrow for a month. Technically I'm meant to be on bed rest but find it hard to stay still and the medical team I'm under (who will do home visits a few times a week) understand that.

I've got loads of books and I plan to go to the library and stock up. I've also got a few jigsaws. I hate colouring books and I'm too impatient and restless at the moment for films or sewing/embroidery etc. I've organised to meet a friend for a walk on Saturday (which I know I shouldn't but I'm going to go crazy if I don't) There's no one else around and it's going to be my only chance this side of New Year to chat with someone who isn't someone from the NHS and who can actually chat about their life rather than mine.

How would you handle this? Any advice or suggestions welcome.

If you're not fit to fly and on bed rest, really really think twice about your walk. Could you not go and sit in the garden together or a local park?

I'd find some exciting tv series personally so you don't need the same focus as you do for a film, do crosswords, and maybe also something like Duolingo - learn a language?

I watched all of downton when recovering from an operation, something long and captured my interest!

@123456789xyz I’m so sorry you’ve lost the opportunity to go on your holiday, especially after losing your DM.

I have become an expert at “bed rest that isn’t quite bed rest,” ie can’t make it out of my flat but can watch TV and make a cup of tea at a push. If you don’t have the focus for reading or embroidery, I really recommend either TV shows, that don’t require as much commitment, or YouTube - just search for a subject that interests you on YouTube and you can watch short videos on it, instead of full documentaries or something. Also, have you tried Sudoku? I recently got into it, and I know a lot of people are put off by thinking it’s math, but it’s not at all - just pattern recognition. Sudoku puzzles happen to use numbers since they’re universal, but they could have used letters or symbols or anything really.

As for the walk… I would agree with others who ask if there’s any chance you could meet and just sit in a park? Or does one of you have a garden, or maybe you even want to meet indoors depending on weather, though I understand the idea is to “get out.”

Please ask if you’d like any gentle, cozy YouTube or TV recommendations, or let me know whatever genre does interest you, and I’ll see what I can find. Christmas alone can be a bit hard when you feel so rotten (I had a couple of just dreadful christmases before I met my now DH).

If your family are generally nice people can you ask them schedule some FaceTime chats in while they’re away - I’d specifically ask for them to be one on one and at a particular time so you’ve something to look forward to every few days. Ask your friends as well, I’d definitely make time to call in on a friend in this situation or schedule a catch up over the phone.

Falling ill AND missing a longed for holiday - this is rotten for you and I’m sorry.

The main thing to keep in mind is that Xmas is just one day in 365. Soon over!

Otherwise could friends visit? Your friends should at least be texting you and making sure you’re ok. Regardless of that, arrange an online delivery with your favourite food and drink, put some music on, binge watch a series on tv, binge-read, have a bunch of scented flowers in the living room and keep warm.

I’m also ill and and know that feeling when the only people you’re talking to are from the NHS.

Sorry these suggestions are not very imaginative, but wishing you all the best.

I'm very sorry about your mom and not getting to go on holiday that you missed every year to care for your mom.

If you collapse on your planned walk against medical advice, would your friend be upset? Would your family be coming back from the holiday? Would you end up in the hospital? I think the walk is a bad idea that could affect others badly if something happens.

You could do something else with your friend besides a walk on the park. Can she come to your place?

I had six weeks recuperating from an op earlier this year, and although not alone I do appreciate the frustration of not being able to get out and about, exercise etc. In addition to puzzles, I occupied myself by playing a few online games on my phone - Township, also Wordle, Patience etc. there are loads to try and delete when bored of them. Recently, my daughter, grandson and I passed the time painting plaster Christmas decorations (craft sets Inc paint available from Dunelm, B&M etc).

I don't know your health condition but if you are medically ok to fly and have insurance, I would be going.

Bed rest can easily be done on a sunlounge. It's difficult to really pass comment without knowing full details.

This is terrible advice.

Op - hope that you recover soon, and that you get some good ideas from this thread.

Do you like logo?
I saw this mentioned on a thread yesterday and think it's a great idea .
https://www.brickborrow.com/

Or what about doing on line surveys? Some of them pay , it's never a huge amount but a few pound would be enough to keep me engaged.
Have a hunt for mn threads call something like 'earn £10 a day'

I agree with pp about you not going out , I know you may feel like you are going stir crazy but your health and recovery are more important than a walk.

I wouldn't go for a walk if you're supposed to be on bed rest but nothing to stop you going for a coffee with a friend

I'm so sorry, that's so shit all round.

Do you have a TV in the bedroom? Or one you can lie down and watch in the living room? You could take out short subscriptions like NOW TV (runs month to month) for films and what not? Binge watch something like Game of Thrones or something similarly lengthy? Get a Firestick if you don't have access to such things via the TV?

Food - order in a mix of healthy and unhealthy and something you'll really look forward to. I've got bagels, cream cheese, bagel seasoning and smoked salmon as a breakfast treat for this weekend for example. Low effort but delicious.

Crochet? Knitting? I bought a couple of kits from Black Wool Knits this year I've finished the knitted blanket but I've butchered the crochet one so I'll have to undo the entire bloody thing and start again.

Podcasts - are there any books you like? I found a massive podcast series for my favourite books and it's taken me a year to listen to it all.

I spent two weeks over Christmas during covid in hospital. Things that kept me sane were good but undemanding TV series, think Downton Abbey, Gilmore Girls, rewatch Call the Midwives - gentle stuff. Lots of delicious food and treats that will cheer you up a bit to eat. I had macrons from a very posh deli and delicious cakes and pastries. If you can bath or shower, very lovely bath products to make a treat out of that. Try and schedule a few things in your day e.g. a long afternoon bath or a video call, so you have some structure.

I've subscribed to all the TV screening services. Sometimes I'm half watching but it's kept me busy.

I'm currently recovering from a knee replacement and stuck mostly indoors. I've been researching the family tree and have gone completely down a rabbit hole. I'm using Ancestry (requires a subscription to get the most out of it) but it's sooo interesting every time you find a new link.

I was in bed with flu recently and I binge watched various shows.

Not Going Out (there's over 100 shoes), Traitors and Couples Therapy (20 mins long) are very bingeable. A good crime series would be good.

I also watched comedy, music clips on You Tube and researched some historical events. Played some card games. A warm bath.

In between those, plus preparing meals for myself (thanks to Tesco Whoosh) and siestas, the days went pretty quick.

When I felt up to it, I did small bits of admin on my phone.

I did 4 days like that, could have done with a 5th.

Hi OP.

I had four surgeries in the last 12months all of which required me to do nothing for a few weeks, then gentle walks. Tbh, I was going out of my mind by day 3, but I also had the side effects from the disgusting anaesthetic so I may have been slightly worse off for that!

I tried to teach myself to roll my r's using a YouTube vid. I also taught myself to knit, but I got bored after twenty rows!

I watched hours and hours of reels on Facebook, oddly my algorithm kept giving me this girl talking about cruises which was interesting as I knew nothing about them!

I also watched a ton of films, on Netflix now, Disney and prime and I also paid for apple through prime a few times to watch bad sisters and slow horses.

I also cried a substantial amount! I did make a conscious effort to stay under 1200 calories too as I didn't want to come out of the process feeling too fat. So you could plan some healthy eating, not as drastic as me but get some nice recipe books with simple recipes. Things that you can do in one pot etc.

I hope you feel better soon.

If you're ill enough to have a medical team do home visits a few times a week over Christmas and have been advised to stay on bed rest then I strongly suggest you pass on the walk.

Online course? Sign lauguage, bird watching for beginners or something ?

A range of things might work best...

Big chunky wool & needles to knit something easy like a scarf or blanket.
Books
TV series
Bird feeder
Interesting food (snacks, drinks, etc)
Latch hook rig kit (easy and quick to do)
Felt picture making kit
Tapestry kit
Crosswords or other puzzles
Redesign part of your garden, or a part of your house (i.e., plan it all, don't actually start doing it!)

What about a wheelchair if a friend could take you out ?
How are you getting fed/ cooking ?

Medically unsafe for me to fly

I was also going to suggest a wheelchair or even a mobility scooter rental if you can't walk for too long. At least you'd be out about without physically taxing yourself, plus you could wrap up warm.

Puzzles are a great idea, especially crosswords and sudoku. Good way to switch off from other thoughts as well.

I don't have any other friends except the one I'm meeting, who is a new-ish friendly acquaintance with lots of life stuff going on of her own so it will be a great distraction from my own head.

There's a lot of stuff on here about food and eating (and calories) so I think I should probably add that I have really severe anorexia. I'm going to be forcing down liquid supplements and trying not to think about it. I don't want to drip feed but I think I need to add that to avoid any other stuff like the comment that references getting fat and keeping under a certain calorie count.

On the puzzle front, I can really recommend The Scotland Yard Puzzle Book; it's kept me absorbed for hours anyway!