AIBU to let 7 year old ds pull a sickie on schools sports day?

[titchy]

ds is a rather sensitive 7 year old in Yr 2. He is a bit immature emotionally and desperate for a best friend, since his best friend left school two years ago (ds still talks about him and feels guilty that his freind might have left cos ds bit him - obviously we have re-assured till we're blue int he face). He now has a small friendship group and we have a contender for a best friend tho' ds still has huge issues with his temper, but socialy he is getting more and more confident.

However he is quite small, and rather behind in gross motor skills (cannot ride a bike yet) so will undoubtedly come last in all the races he is in, as he has for the last two years. The magnitude of this for him is enormous. Although we stress it's not winning it's the taking part etc etc he HATES/is embarrassed by always being last. He feels the odd one out. He feels everyone laughs at him cos he can't run fast. He has been absolutely inconsolable the last few evening as the dreaded day draaws closer.

So I am thinking of phoning school on the morning of the day and saying he's ill. AIBU? FWIW I wholeheartedy agree that children need to understand that they have to do stuff they don;t like sometimes (dd also hates sports day but she will be taking part). However in ds' case I think it will destroy his self confidence which we've been building and at 7 years old I don't really see theh pont of him doing someting which has such an effect on him emotionally.

So...am I?

I agree with every thing recent posters have said about sports day and the forced nature of it and public humiliation. That's one reason I prefer the newer sports days with team/house activities rather than individual events. Might be boring to watch, but better than the old-style - I hated sports day too as a child.

However, I would never encourage or allow anyone to take a 'sickie' for any reason. It sets such a bad example and a precedent for opting out of things in life.

So, tough one and I do sympathise (my own children are not sporty and my youngest hates sports day with a passion, he was overjoyed last year when bad weather meant it was cancelled!) But that is still no reason to let them have a day off, and lie about it.

Oh God didn't think about the therapist in 20 yeasr time .

Eco - trust me the old style is sooooo boring to watch...

Ruby he does two sporting activities a week plus Beavers which as far as I can tell is an hour of running around the hall.

yes this thread has turned - morning posters seem to be more eaasy going than evening posters!

yes the feeling is that I will let him know that if he feels ill on teh day I will be quite happy to phone in sick for him without any questions (as I work there are usually LOADS of questions if it looks like they're not well enough for school - quite often questions are followed by a large dose of Calpol )

I think Rubyrioja is right. Sports day is hideous (but not as hideous as being forced to take part in a swimming gala - as a non-swimmer IME. Me? ).

Seriously though. My DS1 (6 yo) is not sporty, but activities outside of school have given him great confidence and all those things which sport is good for, and not the humilation of it being enforced competitively. The great thing about sport is there is something for everyone, you just have to find it.

Anyway, have to go and drag my kids to tennis

Good luck.

I see he does do extra-curricular sports. Good.

Sorry.

I used to HATE primary school sports days. Until an operation on both legs at age 7 I used to trip over my own feet whilst walking let alone running, and afterwards I was just useless (although I had an excuse and used to pint out the scars!)

However, in Yr 6 I actually got a 3rs in a heat at skipping and the elation has never been forgotten

Got into the finals and would have been lasr agin except one girl fell over- so 2 NOT LASTS were my best memory of sports days....

My Mum would cheer me on though, which I did appreciate.

Excuse the typos. 3rd not 3rs etc etc

Is there a class room assistant that could do the races with him.
When ds1 was the same age he had a CSA help him through some of the races.

my son hated sports day with a passion ,nearly always came last if he hadnt given up in tears halfway down the field .I have to say i hated going to watch because it was cringeworthy but i did and cheered him on and now although he isnt a sportsman by any means he is more willing to have a bash at things and doesnt give up on the first attempt . I really do feel for you , but i would make him do sportsday if i were you .

titchy - have not read the whole thread, but NO YANBU!!!! Like a previous poster I would not let him know I was lying to the school but would fdefinitley engineer an unavoidable committment elsewhere. He does NOT need to be there and go thru all that, and he is so lucky to have a kind and loving mum who is sensitive to him and his needs. The school does not need him there that day, and he sdoes not need to be there.

titchy - reading your post made me almost cry with my hideous school sports memories. Keep him off school - I was more upset that I felt my parents didn't get where I was coming from and just how it affected my confidence, than actually coming last. (I did that each week in maths anyway!) There are plenty of other areas where he can excel and whilst I agree that it is important to take part and life isn't easy etc etc, he's only 7! He's got the rest of his adult life to find all that out - life's hard enough without unnecssary public humiliation

Our school has races such as egg-and-spoon, bat and bean-bag, balance-the-quoit-on-your-head-and-walk, dribbling football within the lines, as well as straightforward running races, to give the slower runners an opportunity to shine.

My personal fave is 'most stylish horse' whereby children gallop and prance, head tossing and whinnying to the finish line, and the winner is NEVER the first over the line.

Go to the dentist this year, and speak to the school about using inclusive practices at sports day.

HTH

My memories of sports day still upset me, and by high school I used to just hide with my mates and a radio rather than put myself though it. I later found out I'm dyspraxic and the relief was incredible after years of feeling like an utter failiure!

Has anyone read "not a games person"? Its a lovely short little book for adults that anyone who hated sports day will like. Made me cry