Not to buy new wrapping paper for SC?

[readystdygo]

Every year I buy new wrapping paper for my two kids. I wrap each kids in different paper so they can tell whos is whos.

I then wrap my step childs in whatever paper I have left. Step child is not here on christmas day.

I was discussing this with a friend and she said its wrong that step child dont get new paper too? I cant see how it makes any difference?

I don’t understand what you mean by ‘new paper’. Surely all wrapping paper that isn’t being reused is ‘new’. Even if you bought it last year and didn’t get round to using it- is that what you mean? And subsequently I don’t get what is ‘not new’ about step child’s wrapping. Unless you are obviously wrapping your children’s presents in bright shiny crisp expensive looking paper adorned with bows and whistles and step child is getting theirs wrapped in a bin bag or newspaper or old scabby wrapping paper that’s been reused five times, I don’t really see the issue. If stepchild was with you on Christmas morning it might be different and they should be part of the whole everyone gets different paper thing.

How is she? They're also getting the new paper and step children are different

Sorry but I completely disagree with your last statement.
I may be a step mum but I am a mum to my kids before that, my two children deserve more effort from me in life as I am their mother.
SC also has their own mother.
Now my husband should put the same effort into all the kids, I agree.

If you do it because it makes it easier with your DC, but would serve no purpose for SC, then that's fine. If you were doing it because you think your DC deserve nicer paper than SC, that's a bit Cinderella-ish.

Haven’t read all the replies, but I’m with you, OP. I’ve always done different wrapping paper for each of my children to identify who’s is whose, to help sort them all quickly into their Santa sacks on Christmas Eve. I do tend to buy them a new, different roll each year as if I were trying to use the leftovers, they’d all be mixed up again. So to save wasting the bits & bobs, I use them on other people’s gifts (which I bundle together with ribbon and label) This would include SCs if they weren’t with us for Christmas. The years they are, they get their ‘own’ wrapping paper 🤷‍♀️ it’s not about any sort of favouritism, it’s purely practical - and as others have said - the kids don’t care! It’s just one less headache…

The only character paper I have left is frozen and I use that for my niece as she is two. That was left over from one of my kids years ago.

However, my sons this year does have toy story on and I wont use that next year for SC as shes not a boy.

Well I'm using the paper I bought my kids the year before so I obviously think all the paper is nice paper as I wouldn't of bought it otherwise.

Because only boys can like Toy Story 🤣🤣

Well girls can too but I know my female step daughter doesn't..... that ok with you?

I agreed about your intent being correct before I read this from you OP

I may be a step mum but I am a mum to my kids before that, my two children deserve more effort from me in life as I am their mother.

I will stand by that. I'm not saying I make no effort for my SC, I make plenty but if anyone thinks my kids dont deserve extra effort from me as their mother when my SC also has her own mother then I find that bizarre.

I agree. Don't know why she has posted about this except to suggest she doesn't care about her DSC. I just use the same stuff for everyone. Bit hit and miss if the labels come off!

How old is your step daughter OP?

When I was with my ex partner I did all the wrapping and I probably did do seperate wrapping paper for his daughter but that said its only something my children are really aware of and I'm pretty sure her Mum doesn't do this so I don't think she would of noticed. Also I'm pretty sure my 18yr wouldn't have a clue what the wrapping paper situation is at her Dads house and I 100% think her step mum who is very nice to her does all the wrapping. I can't think we would even discuss this or that she would feel like she got less.

No, they don't deserve more effort. They and your stepchild already understand the difference between them from your attitude. They are not stupid. Trust me.

We are talking about £2 roll of wrapping paper here, not a personalised Santa sleigh on top of their maternal house roof with a cherry on top.

I couldn’t be arsed to even give this brain space. Just buy an extra roll of wrapping paper it’s not dear and never think about it again !

I think the problem is that you're making a thing of it. There is no need to do that. It makes you sound a bit...mean.

I was close to my niece and she had a best friend. I used to take them both out. One day my niece pointed out to me, quite rightly, that I had bought something for her and not the friend and she didn't want the friend to feel left out. She was quite right to call me on it.

I can see where others are seeing it as in you're giving your kids 'special' paper but as it was 'special' last year, the SC is still getting nice wrapping paper, not scraggy wrinkled and reused paper. I suppose, to me, it matters what the intent is behind it.
My kids get the best paper (meaning my most favourite, though I like them all or I wouldn't have bought it,) and the least favourite goes on everyone else's presents.

What SC doesn't know, can't hurt them but thinking now, I think I'd feel pretty shit if my step mum thought I didn't deserve thoughtful wrapping paper as much as the shared kids did. I don't know how I feel about it, on one hand, it's just paper. Absolute non-issue. But to consider SCs feelings, if they knew, I think it'd feel a bit shitty. I'd like to think that I'd treat any SC like one of my own, because if I'm with their dad, that means I take on his love of his kids and would want them to still feel included in the 'special' family things. Just give SC a little consideration is what I'd say. I definitely remember the little inconsistencies growing up and it does sting a little that I was seen as less-than than my half sibling.

I’d have thought with all the things that go with being a parent and a step-parent, this is something that requires no over thinking whatsoever. Nobody cares what paper is on the gifts. It makes no difference. It makes perfect sense to have things wrapped in the same paper for the same person. We do that in our house. Anyone who’s gifts are not being opened with us on Christmas morning gets the leftover paper.

I disagree. You should put your best efforts into all of your children, bio or step. You are a family. That’s not to say you won’t do things for your own kids as their Mum when stepchild isn’t there, or different traditions for their individual birthdays eg. But you shouldn’t half-arse things like Christmas or other joint family occasions just be because they’re your step-child. As you’ve said, you and your husband get the presents and wrap jointly, so it should be the same for each child. If you’re in charge of buying the paper for all, and he wraps for all, then you put your best efforts into each child’s presents and wrapping. You’re being very unreasonable. Why would you not make it the same and nice for each child?

Of course you should get new paper. Why wouldn’t you?

I enjoyed toy story as a girl lol
honestly, what's all this fuss over wrapping paper? Just use whichever one you have and use tags.

FFS don't be so ridiculous 😂. This is truly Mumsnet at its finest levels of insanity.

The OP has two children. She buys 2 wrapping papers to differentiate between their presents. This is such a time saver and avoids needing to write on each present to say who it is for. I do the same, OP.

OP's stepchild isn't there at the same time and therefore differentiated wrapping paper is not necessary.

The DSC is not being treated differently and the OP certainly isn't doing anything that "stinks."

Seriously, stop and look at yourself if you actually think this is an issue.

I use a different wrapping paper for each person who will be there for present opening for the same reason OP does. Saves tags. If a person was coming at a later date to open their presents separately I wouldn't bother because there's no need to differentiate. I'd make an effort to make that person's gifts look nice, but wouldn't feel the need to buy special 'coded' paper for them. Which in principle is all OP is doing.
Unfortunately this has been taken as symbolic of second rate treatment of the SC by OPs friend, and OP is now being held to account for whether she should treat her SC the same as her own DC. I agree with the OP that the SC has a mother of their own, so no need for OP to be equal 'mother' to SC as she is to her own DC.

The SC will neither know nor care.