To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

[lostintherhythagain]

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

DH teaches primary and once got a framed poem from a parent. The poem was about their child, and had a photo of the child at the bottom.

He also once received a very squashed Swiss roll which we were fairly sure had been shoplifted (the child who gave it came from a really difficult background; had been in temporary foster care during the year, and it seemed fairly unlikely that he’d have had the 50p to buy it).

My rule of thumb for gift-giving to teachers is to ask whether they’d be happy to receive this same gift from every child in the class. So a bauble - no (especially with my child’s face on it). Gift voucher - yes.

I bet those went straight in the bin when they got home .

So we can only be grateful at the end of the year, not halfway through it!
In terms of motivation and feeling appreciated this would work for me. I would be mortified people are spending their hard earned cash on gifts for me I neither want or need.

Absolutely. I wouldn't even have baubles with my own families face on them. In fact, it has just reminded me of my friend who bought her entire family cushions with her kids faces on them 😭

Imagine having to go to a spa and sit around in a dressing gown or swimming costume with your manager and colleagues. At least the bauble can be put in the bin where it belongs.

When my DD was in primary, a group of Mums decided to do an end of year collection for the teacher. The look of horror on the teacher's face when she was presented with a bike (wheeled through the playground for all to see) complete with bows and balloons attached to the handlebars! I'm pleased to say, I did not contribute but DD chose a box of chocolates and made a card.

As a teacher of many years, I can think of nothing worse than an over generous gift. My colleagues felt the same. Please don't get involved. A gift isn't expected at all. Of course, being presented with a chocolate orange or a golden chocolate coin by an excited child is wonderful.

Say you’ve bought a small gift already. Who wants to strip off in front of work colleagues, or spend personal time with colleagues? Also many spas don’t want gangs of cackling women it ruins the tranquil atmosphere. It’s a terrible idea all round and good on you for not buying into it, plus £15 is a lot

spell edit

Early years worker here

were super grateful for a heartfelt card the kids have made or a box of chocs for the staff room. Baubles with children's faces in WILL NOT go on trees and will be left in the classroom decorations box or the bin.

my daughters class fo a "does anyone want to chuck £10 in for a group gift?" But it's optional. Just send a message saying "we've sorted our own present already, sadly. Thanks so much for offering through."

I've only done collection for primary teachers and the wording on the note handed out was clear: only participate if you want/can and the amount you wan/can. Many were happy to give a tenner/fiver/2£ so as to not think about what to get. Some gave 20/25 and some nothing. Didn't matter and noone judged anyone. For me it was just not having the hassle of thinking about an original gift seeing the teachers getting plenty of flowers and chocolat.

This is what they do where I teach and what happens at DS's school. If you were going to buy each staff member a chocolate orange then you'd actually be better off chucking in 10 quid in a communal collection. Plus it takes about 30 seconds to do it online. And you don't have to. I'm just going to put down from the whole class.

Obviously teachers don't expect anything but a 50 quid John Lewis voucher is hugely appreciated as is a box of maltesers.

This gifting crap is getting out of hand. I don't think anyone should be buying teachers gifts, let alone spa days.

Have daughters who teach in primary, fair to say they would all be perfectly happy if the children just sent a card

YANBU.
I don't gift presents to teacher, why I would do. If my child wants to draw them a card that is fine but she got far to many teachers. I wouldn't be able to afford it.

A teacher (or teachers spouse) starting a thread about the random batshit personalised Christmas presents they've received over the years would make a cracking read, but your personalised poem one would probably win 😄.

Just say you already gifted the teacher.

The bauble 😑I really can't imagine many (any) teachers being delighted and putting it on their tree.

I'm in a FB group and the amount of utter shit€ people buy all personalised for the teachers. One woman was going way over and I said it to her, she said the nursery teacher adores her son and will love all the stuff.

My nursery are fab and I know they really like my kids - or well I think they do!! But I doubt they want something with their faces on it.

Consumables - always consumables. This year I gave chocolate. I included the cleaners and cooks too because they are also so nice. Maybe I should have got a 5ft poster of my kids for their wall instead

That’s funny. What a gift

Op £15 is a lot. We just have voluntary amount, idk what people give.

Me too, probably of the naughtiest kid in the class, that the teacher will have a hard time forgetting anyway - without a flipping bauble! It is batshit op! They sound like a niche group 😂🤯

Just say: "Thanks, lovely idea, but I've already sorted my gift. You might want to check the cash limit, because I've heard there is a limit on what they can accept."

Luckily my son is now in Secondary so that's all behind us but we never contributed to any collections. I would let my son choose what to get them, it was usually a box of chocolates. But when he was in year 5 he noticed one teacher had a reusable Costa cup on her desk every morning so he asked to get her a Costa voucher, she was incredibly grateful apparently.
We would get the competitive parents though who would say they are just getting the teacher some chocolates and then roll up on the last day with a huge hamper of chocolates looking all smug.

Our primary does class collections for vouchers at Christmas and the end of the school year. I think this is great, easy for parents and then the teachers get to choose something they actually want. We usually go with very generic vouchers unless we know a teacher is very keen on something specific. Would never do a spa day or similar.

I am organising DS's class collection this Christmas and we have around £500 in the pot to split between the teacher and TA. But it's a very well off area and there is absolutely no pressure to contribute. Some put in £30, some put in £5, some do their own thing.

Teacher here too and I second this!
I really don’t need presents - I do however treasure the cards I receive.
The madness continues with staff after the gift giving - literally hate the ‘what did you get’ questions!
For any parents on here - just tell the queen bee Mummy on WhatsApp a firm no. In a cost of living crisis, I would much rather families put money towards their own celebrations.

Oh come on, only a life size cardboard cut-out will do!😂

Can you imagine the state of your Christmas tree if you got given several baubles a year with kids faces in them 🤣🤣

Why do parents think you want to remember their child for decades?

Do you not see the pressure you are putting on people. Two cars on the drive but nothing in the fridge springs to mind! You cannot assume people can afford this, just because you live in an affluent area. £500 - 🙈

I don’t buy teachers anything for Christmas! I’m not a total grinch and I know they work hard but so do I, so do most parents.
If I were a teacher I wouldn’t want a load of tat every year, I wouldn’t mind edible stuff that could be shared in the staff room before Christmas but nothing else, and definitely not a personalised bauble! Does this mum really think the teacher wants to sit around on her Christmas holiday looking at the faces of kids from her class?! Madness!