To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

[lostintherhythagain]

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

Don't bother with it. The most I give is a Christmas card.

@lostintherhythagain I’m a nurse and we all got given £10 next vouchers a few years ago by a family. It caused major issues and we originally were made to hand them in to the manager. (I didn’t) I think we did get them back eventually but it was a headache!

This!😆

All those little faces grinning out at you that you can't get away from...... the Christmas tree from hell!🎄

One of the class mums does the collection for teacher and ta. Usually a nice mug with irish on it (irish medium school) and then vouchers, everyone chips in what they can afford. We have done this last few years, works out well.

The personalized bauble idea is horrific. Apart from not wanting to have pupils staring from the Christmas tree, I would be worried that if an estranged parent wanted to get back at their ex partner, that my possession of an unauthorised image outside school could be used in some sort of safeguarding row. No thanks.
Stick to the pack of Quality Street please.

I am a teacher and I would not want this.

A small gift is appreciated but tbh I do not remember which kids gave me gifts and which didn't. I'd rather get nothing than an unwanted gift.

We teachers are paid to do our jobs, we don't need handouts as well. I would refuse. Say you've already made your own arrangements.

It’s not ridiculous but you’re under no obligation to take part. Just make it clear you’re not taking part as early as possible

Envelopes full of cash to employees........

We have anti bribery laws in place in the uk. I would be having a quiet word with the nursery owner and reminding them that if they were investigated for receiving monies then the fines incurred would absolutely be substantial enough to put the nursery out of business.

You may laugh but i take orders for millions £ worth of goods on a regular basis and i cannot give or receive a bottle of wine without declaring it to our CEO and it being recorded in a register. ANY gifts must me appropriate and of monetary value according to the relationship.

Who on earth wants a Christmas bauble with a picture of someone else’s child on it?! That is the most self-absorbed gift I have ever heard of. It’s like those people who send Christmas cards that are photos of themselves, like the King. Only a hundred times worse.

Teachers don't expect lavish presents and often spend a lot of their own money providing extra resources for their classrooms. Nobody should ever feel coerced into giving more than they can afford, and the thoughtful homemade cards and letters, showing appreciation for the work they do, are always the most special.

If you do decide to join the group present, make sure you trust the organiser, especially after what happened to my daughter last year. She is now a teacher herself, and the mother of a child in her class took it upon herself to organise a collection for her and her TA. However, the gifts —things they neither wanted nor needed—didn’t seem to match the amount of money collected, and it was suspected that she had kept some of the money for herself. Other parents got involved, threatening to call the police unless she provided receipts for all the gifts. Then, out of nowhere, a second £50 gift card appeared, which she claimed she had “forgotten” to include in the original gift..... suspiciously dated that very same day!

I can’t think of anything worse than going on a spa day with my colleagues. Teachers spend more than enough time with their colleagues during the school year-give them some chocolate or a voucher and leave them alone.

In my place of work we have to declare any gift over £50. The rules are actually quite stringent for most workplaces.

Send a card with a message like, “Thank you so much , little Johnny loves coming to school and has made great progress with xyz. We are glad you were his first teacher.”
That will be treasured far more than a mad bauble or monetary gift. Add some flowers or a box of matchmakers if you want to.

Was just coming to say imagine every child gave a bauble with their face on, creepiest tree ever 😂😂😂

Teacher here. Chocs, bottle of wine, pretty candle, all lovely and gratefully received. The above is performative, OTT and imposes a sense of obligation... how can I tell your little darling off after you've bought me a spa day for £100+ ? It's almost moral blackmail.
By the way, it doesn't work on me...but I am an old hand and thick skinned.

This, we've always done this or perhaps a hamper with a voucher, the spa day and takeaway is madness.

I'm guessing this is first time parents who are trying to do something nice for the teacher.

They'll soon become as cynical as the rest of us!

I wonder if these people give the same energy to give gifts to the coaches/organisers of their kids hobbies who either do it voluntarily or pay to do it.

Wow. PMSL at how arrogant you must be to think someone wants your (not you OP!) childs face on their Christmas tree 😂 that’s so fucking weird!

but no OP you aren’t being at all unreasonable. That’s gifting gone absolutely mad.

Expecting parents to pay £15 is a bit much to be honest. No one should feel obliged to contribute either. Staff most definitely wouldn't expect gifts, and certainly not a spa day or/and money!! I can't even remember if I gave anything to my son's pre-school Key Worker for Christmas!! I used to give a small gift to teaching staff, once he started school, and all the way through Infant and Junior schools. I have seen in recent years, the entire class of parents putting money into a pot for the class teacher and TA to buy presents or give as vouchers/cash. I'm not sure I agree with it - it puts pressure on parents who perhaps can't afford it, and by not contributing, it tells everyone else in the process too!

Ewww no, stay out of it! Especially since you never actually agreed to contribute. And a bauble with a kids face in it for a teacher is creepy as fuck.

We club in for vouchers at my son’s school. There’s no minimum or maximum. Some people give £2, some people give £10. All the kids get their name in the card regardless.

I find it all a bit much. My kids are at the top end of primary school now and it’s just getting out of hand now. Every year gets worse.

When my eldest was in KS1 we all chipped in a tenner in July to buy a voucher for the Teachers and TAs as an end of year gift.

Ten years later there still a collection in July (now £15-20), but also the same again for Christmas……. also everyone is expected to chip in for a giant bunch of flowers on the Teacher’s birthday now too.

Teachers are great, I love them, but do we need to be buying them extravagant presents 3 times a year?!

Teachers are not allowed to accept money. It can be classed as a bribe. So no I wouldn't take part.

The bauble. Just wow!!!

I'd say I'd already sorted something

🤣