To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

[lostintherhythagain]

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

I am a retired teacher and think this is so wrong.when I was teaching I got a few individual gifts from children. Nothing expensive. Chocolates or handcream and such like. Not all children bought presents and why should they?
Umi never felt differently about the ones not buying a present.
Teachers are paid to do their job like everyone else. A box of chocs is perfect assuming your child liked the teacher and that you were happy the teacher did a good job. The world has gone mad .

Bribery and corruption on accepting gifts is 💯 thing, I worked for a large corporate for 37 years and we had to declare every single gift over a certain a,o7nt (£25 ish). Whilst this doesn’t relate specifically to teaching staff the sentiment is the same. I highly doubt you can gift teachers £300 without them declaring it.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/ssro-gifts-and-hospitality-policy/gifts-and-hospitality-policy

I'm a teacher & while we haven't reached the dizzy heights of spa days & personalised baubles yet in my school there does seem to be a growing performative culture regarding gifts at Christmas & summer break, it's lovely to be acknowledged & the boys I teach always seem so happy bringing in a gift bag (not of wine!) but I just feel it's another financial burden & one-up-man-ship at the school gate & Whatsapp

Laughing at the PP who said in a few years the Christmas Tree will just be baubles with current & ex pupils 😂

But that probably came to about 10/ 15 quid so how is it massively different?
It's not cliquey if someone is trying to take a job off other parents plates by doing a voluntary collection. Setting the amount and hassling parents isn't fair.

I never got involved in this madness when my son was of school age. What other profession gets gifts just for doing the job they get paid for?

I'd rather an underpaid TA or ECT gets a nice 50 quid John Lewis voucher than my child has an "enriching experience" of choosing them a mug that will end up in landfill.

A great idea.

Just ridiculous. Buying teachers gifts at xmas, why? They do a job like everyone else....l have never bought or contributed to anything. It can certainly put pressure on parents who struggle. Alot of the schools where l live have now stopped this...

Wouldn’t bother with chocolates, it’s a bit crap with zero thought and they’ll have about 15 boxes.

£15 is steep though. I see no need why they need a spa and take away. Seems a bit OTT. Also a spa day?! Why?! They may not like each other. May not want to spend another day with each other and organising a giant group day is mammoth effort. I can’t think of any colleagues I would want to see me in my costume. A bauble with their kids face is beyond weird. Why would she want another kids face on her tree? How would she like having her nursery teachers face in her tree? So bizarre.

I opted out at nursery. At school we don’t do Xmas ones, do an end of year contribution. We all do £10 and it’s split between teacher and TA’s. £300 is usually collected and about £75 goes to each teacher (split job) and the other £150 is divided across the TA’s, there are a few. Amazon gift card last year I think.

£15 would be a lot for the parents of the children in used to teach. Some people struggle to feed and clothe their children, I don't want their money. You are very privileged if you think £15 is nothing.

This has happily reminded me of when I nannied for a family and was in both kids class WhatsApp groups, so was privy to the utter madness, the Yr 4 class representative was fucking mad and utterly obsessed with how much everyone loved her child who was frankly a knob (one term every kid who's party her kid went too go the gift with wrapping paper with her kids face one because it was cute 😂) and they collected £230 for the teacher and 2 TAs and spent £110 of it on 3 fuck off massive canvas's of the kids class picture for each of them.

Lucky old you. You really have no idea.

What the fuck is this comment? How revoltingly judgmental.

Words fail me. I have my class photos in a drawer and I might look at them once every few years. A huge canvas? NO NO NO!

That’s a £1 or so a month over the course of the year. Sorry but I don’t think that indicates I’m privileged. I am not getting the fuss here. Seems perfectly reasonable to me. I’d be happy to spend £45 on Christmas teacher gifting for my 3 🤷‍♀️

I remember reading the "this is how I spent the money" message and CACKLING. Everyone just let her crack on because it was easier normally but she peaked batshit that year.

Most parents also bought a little something extra (Chocs or Wine) to make uo for it tbh 😂

I didn’t mean it as judgemental, I genuinely just wondered and wanted to learn. What others do is their thing but I’ve always wondered why this happens. I’m eager to learn and that’s why I asked.

Because you're privileged enough to be able to, you realise that £1 is the difference between putting something back in the food shop or being able to buy it (last month that thing for me was washing up liquid).

Privileged or not, you sound like an utter bellend

You sound judgemental and insecure. Just don’t participate and don’t make such a song and dance about it. Everyone can do what they want.
I have not given to a teachers gift ever and never needed to post on mumsnet about it slagging off those who do.

Who comes up with these ridiculous ideas? I never got a spa day out and takeaway from my parents when I worked in nursery. I was always happy to share the odd box of chocolates or biscuits with the other staff, and if it was a big enough box of biscuits, with the children. Most parents would give each staff member a card from their child/ren.
Stick to your guns and don't give any cash. Your chocolates will be gratefully received. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

You’re definitely not being unreasonable. These other parents probably mean it nicely and are probably just very blinkered. The teacher won’t expect it. When I taught a home made card, if to be honest just a thank you for the last term meant the world. Also with any gifts of money or value over £25 (if it’s an accumulated lump sum I think) they will have to declare it on their tax return so could end up penalised. At least that’s how it used to be but not looked at this for a long time

Because they don't have the right qualifications (and to get them means not working which they can't afford)

Because they are not given the opportunity to work somewhere better paying

Because a different job means needing childcare which costs more then they would earn despite the extra work and money

Because they do not have a support system to help them work another job

Because there is a distinct lack of available jobs in many parts of the country

Because they do not have available transport options to get them to a new job

Because they do not have the confidence to go after a new job

We just have different perspectives. It doesn’t necessitate derogatory remarks. Surely one of the benefits of this kind of forum is that we get to experience a wide range of different views. That’s a really positive thing and the world is all the richer for diversity of thought.

I was a teacher. Didn't enjoy all the crap every year that I then had to find places for. A spa day sounds like a nightmare... A lot of people don't want to socialise with work colleagues!!

The things I Actually liked receiving were cards or ornaments the kids had obviously drawn or made themselves, things that were consumable or chocolate or nice coffee or bubble bath, or things I could use in the classroom.

All through my sons primary years every Xmas we bought the class a book with a little note saying it was from him.
He's visited back and they're still all on the bookshelves in the classrooms

And no. We do not want photos of your kids! We get a whole class one every year anyway 😂😂🤦

Agreed. Much as I loved some all of my pupils, I really wouldn't have wanted their visage peering at me from a Christmas tree.