To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

[lostintherhythagain]

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

That sounds like utter madness. We tend to do a collection for DS teacher at the end of the year, just for a John Lewis or one4all type voucher.

At Christmas his teacher gets chocolate and his TA gets wine (I know she drinks wine and she deserves it for keeping DS in check, she had him for more that one year)

I really want to hear from the gifters of the personalised items. There must be someone on MN who has done it, it seems to be something quite a few have experienced. I'd love to hear the thought behind it.

I’m not sure I believe it tbh

Just seeing this but as a teacher definitely a few immediate reactions came in to my head.
Firstly while I've got some lovely decorations and baubles over my many years teaching that go up on my tree every year, at no point did I ever want or get a bauble with a child's face on it.Take it from me-no teacher wants one of them!! If the mother is painful enough to think the teachers want a picture of her little darling, then I can almost guarantee you that her child is probably one of the kids the staff really want to forget over Christmas!
In terms of the spa day and take away, I'd absolutely hate them. Firstly even if the staff do actually really get on well, they will almost certainly want a complete break from each other over the Christmas. As for the take away, as someone with dietary restrictions I know I probably wouldn't be able to partake.
Finally and most importantly £15 per family is way too much. In my school the parents do pool together and buy a voucher for a local shopping centre or similar but they give 5 each.
I agree with people saying to just say you already have your own gift sorted.

DS Maths teacher was such a major part of his life from Y7 - Y11 during the Covid years, available to mark past papers, encouraging DS way above and beyond.

After him and his wife had a baby, got them a John Lewis gift certificate which he reported to his head of department and told he wasn't allowed to keep it, so returned it.

Agree with the personalised stuff no teacher wants that, we can’t always remember every child that comes through our doors after years on the job. The group gift though is nice for my sons class the collection is up to 475 dollars, a small amount from each parent adds up to a nice sum and the teachers who work hard all year in a mainly thankless job can treat themselves.

Why would anyone think nursery staff would appreciate a bauble with their kids face on it. Incredible.

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?!

🤣🤣

Wtf

So the rest of that teachers house now has look at the face of a child they don't know 😂

That bauble is definitely going in the bin.

Wow, £15? That’s nothing. Why would you not want to gift £15 at Christmas?! They’ve been teaching your child for the entire term!

The bauble is hilarious. We all think our children are amazing but a small proportion of parents think everybody thinks their kids are amazing 🤩 these parents make me cringe

There is literally no way in the world the nursery teacher is going to adorn her Christmas tree with baubles depicting children at the nursery she works at.

Don't get involved that is bonkers. Most places have an early finish last day and I guarantee no one ia hanging round for takeaways I work in a school and last day I will be out car park before some of kids!

Thankfully this gifting teachers nonsense wasn't a thing when my DC were at school, also no what's app parents groups, too long ago.

I'm a teacher. I definitely don't want a bauble with a child's face on!!!! And a take away for the staff plus a spa voucher is mad!

A nursery whattsapp group? Aaaagh, run! There will always be that one person who wants to control everything. A big no from me, I will do what has been done always and send my own little gifts and card, which in itself is extra to all the rest of the present frenzy.

I work 16 hours a week on minimum wage. £15 is not nothing.

All madness, pick your kids up on time on the last day of term, buy a box of Maltesers, happy days xx

Actually, £15 is a lot of money for many parents and no teacher wants a gift that a parent can't afford -a bar of chocolate and card with a message is ample. I've kept lots of cards, accumulated over 30 years of teaching, as well as some Christmas stars and baubles which I'd be sad to part with. If I'd received one with a child's face on it though I'd have been thoroughly taken aback.

As a secondary school teacher I've always been delighted with a simple card and a few meaningful words. Bonus if any presents like a pen, chocolate, anything, but absolutely never expected. I make all my form little gift bags each and a hand written card which I give on the last day so as avoid any feeling of expectation to reciprocate. Tbh depending on the year group, sometimes they're just left, thrown about in the corridor or gruffed at lol 😆

I'm a teacher (secondary) and I genuinely don't want any gifts, I end up with hundreds of chocolates.
I also refuse to buy any presents for my children's teacher (primary) for Christmas and I don't feel bad about it one bit. I think it's absolutely ridiculous new fad.
Saying that I will always buy something nice for their teachers at the end of the academic year.

That’s pretty normal op. End of year gifts are not a surprise. It’s ok to decline but then don’t be upset if you are not included on the card.
Every school both my dc have been at has done this.
my dd is 3yo and the collection has been done

YANBU. When my children were in primary school, I used to contribute around £15 for each class gift. I did it mainly because I didn’t want my children’s names to be left off the group cards.

Every year, it was always the same two or three mums who decided the amount, collected the money, bought the gifts, and handed them to the teachers. I only ever saw the cards and presents later, usually in photos shared in the WhatsApp group.

I remember watching them put on quite a show in the playground — teachers thanking those mums, hugs all round, sometimes even tears. I would be standing at a distance while picking up my children, feeling completely detached from it all, despite having contributed.

No one really wanted to talk to me, except when it was time to ask for money. It felt as though my role was simply to help fund an expensive gift, while the recognition, warmth, and relationships all belonged to someone else.

Nope.
I was doing it, I did it for 4 years and then when both of my kids were out of nursery and at the worlds shittiest primary school, I decided no more.
I have bought a box of celebrations, some quality street, some gingerbread biscuits and a Pannetone (handmade) for my oldest DC secondary school, because they are genuinely fantastic and I personally cannot believe the turn around we have seen. They actually deserve it.
But the scum that “teach” at the primary don’t deserve anything. Maybe a punch in the face.
(yes I’m angry, yes there is 1 good teacher there. No I can’t move the school because everywhere else is massively over subscribed)

I don’t mean this as a dig but do you kind of I ask why you don’t work more hours and get a higher paid job? I don’t mean it as a judgement, I guess I’ve always just wondered why people don’t take better paid jobs. If I didn’t have enough, I’d work around the clock to have the money I needed and do anything to get a job that isn’t minimum wage. I

New fad? I was school in the 80s and we gave teachers a gift