To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

[lostintherhythagain]

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

I posted the same thing last year and will probably post it next year too but I think it needs repeating. My mother was the head teacher of an infants school and asked all parents NOT to bring presents for the staff (as some children bought ridiculous OTT gifts and others didn't bring anything and then got anxious and sad as they wanted to bring a gift) but if they wanted to show their appreciation to give a book for the school library - it could be new or it could be from a 20p one from a charity shop. She then put a sticker inside the front cover saying this book was donated to the school by Norman Nobody with the date. Everyone was happy.

Not a teacher, never been one, and gifts from patients, pupils or customers isn’t a thing for me. But the Christmas bauble with a pupils picture in? WTAF, I laughed out loud at that.

If I were to be in a position where I might receive such a gift, I would definitely prefer a bottle of dry rose or a box of Roses. A spa day is a shit gift full stop IMO.

edited to add, DD (NHS not a teacher) would appreciate a box of tea bags over anything else, but as a radiographer not a nurse she never even gets a singular toffee quality street.

I will admit to not reading all comments, however the first thing to spring to my mind was how cheap is this spa day. 15 kids all contribute £15 each makes £225. This may be enough for the teacher but no other staff. So just sounds unreasonable to me and OP should just do what she likes and let the others deal with the fall out.

Who wants someone else’s child’s face hanging in their tree ffs!

I have a childminder friend who revived a massive canvas print with the picture of a child she minded as a Christmas present, from two different families on two separate occasions.

some people are actually off their rockers!!

We once had a teacher send out a list of all her favourite things as a hint to parents, including boxes of chocolates and jewelry. She even listed her preferred stores! We've been asked to pay for other special things, like wedding gifts to teachers, baby gift, in addition to the Christmas and end of school gifts. It made me crazy!

Flipping heck - not a hope!

Some of these responses are insane! I thought it was totally normal, if you can afford it, to get people like nursery key workers, teachers, cleaners, dog walkers, postmen a present at Christmas?

Our class teacher is getting chocs and wine worth 30 quid together and a 120 quid voucher. So that's about 5 quid a child. I'd personally rather that then 30 chocolate oranges! The other money is going on TA presents. Now that is a bloody hard job which is not well paid at all so I don't begrudge them a penny.

And teachers have better things to do then work out who contributed to a class present and favour those children honestly.

I don't get involved in those collections, I prefer to buy my own gift, at my own chosen price. At one point I had 4 primary age children who all had various teachers and support staff, there's no way I'd be giving that amount to each class. I'm currently on a class whatsapp where one woman is suggesting we all give £20, after another mum asked if we were donating £5 or £10.

I have never done teacher gifts at Christmas, just ridiculous. My girls have made their teachers a card this year because they wanted to but I wouldn't force them to.

Yeah a £15 Xmas gift isn’t bribery. There isn’t a law to stop a teacher accepting a small gift. The poster didn’t say the group intended to bribe the teacher. 🙄

I’m always surprised that teachers are allowed to accept gifts to such a high value. When I worked at a local authority we had a low cap on the value we were allowed to accept, and gifts had to be shareable.

It’s not compulsory to give gifts, I never did when DC were in primary. DP and I work with vulnerable people on a far lower salary than teachers so it seemed madness to spend loads of money. We did have DC make a Christmas card etc, and I did buy TAs tea, coffee and biscuits during the pandemic (only TAs came in, teachers WFH)

School gate mafia. Absolutely mad. A card is sufficient. Just stay in your own lane.

Nobody considers that clubbing together bypasses the children being able to actually give gifts to their teachers. It's cute for children to hand gifts over and have that experience of the teacher going "oh thankyou little Jimmy I love chocolate" etc.. One big hamper seems very impersonal in comparison and almost nothing to do with the children.

I taught for about 17 years, I think I received maybe 4 cards at christmas the whole period, none of us received gifts...this all sounds bonkers to me !!

If it's a state school, there are rules preventing staff from accepting gifts (a small token like a box of chocolates or bunch of flowers is permissible). If it's a private school - I'm not sure what the guidelines are. But, as many other posters have observed, why think staff would actually WANT to spend a spa day together? and the baubles? I'm lost for words.
Might be tactful to have quick word with the head before this goes totally pear-shaped.

Of course the teachers will look and sound grateful. We're very good at putting on a show.

As a vegan, I am often given chocolates that I can't eat; wine that I can't drink and toiletries that I can't use. I appreciate the thought and the children really believe that I love the presents and will enjoy them when I get home. I can be very convincing when I thank people.

I have never been to a spa and hate the idea of it. But you would never guess that if you gave me spa vouchers.

It’s bizzare! I’ve got the teacher and 3 TAs some chocolates and shortbread each and a nice card each. Anything else is crazy to me! I’m so glad I’m not in a cliquey kind of school!

nope no laws (used to work in the NHS) but most places definitely have rules, although they are usually centred on cash value....so bauble with some kid's face on it deffo not an issue.

As someone who works in early years I’d be mortified at that amount being paid by parents. Nah a box of chocolates is perfect.

I think that's pretty much the going rate and I'd love a spa day. But maybe with a friend of my choice.

To reiterate :
We asked the teacher what they would like as we were all clubbing together. Both times they chose the spa day.
Id rather a driving track day experience if im honest.
If its coming from a place of research then I dont get the issue.
Parents might spend £10 on tat, im sure they'd rather that £10 went to something they wanted.

Vegan, chocs, we have same issue too, good thing is you can regift them on. Teacher type generic gifts like mugs etc harder to do so. Baubles with kids faces on not at all.

As I said, im a teacher too, and long gone are the days of just a heartfelt message written on a Christmas card.

As a teacher totally agree I wish for nothing but if so something small and cheap. Families have enough at this time of year. It doesn't buy you any special favours for your child the expensive gifts

There is not. I presented £300 vouchers to my child state school teacher this morning and have done so twice a year for the last 5 years. Friends at other local schools do the same.

dont discourage people from doing something they think is nice by piously pretending they are breaking some rule. They’re not idiots.

Who on earth thinks their kids teacher wants anything with a pupils face on it! Absolutely bonkers.
I would not be getting involved in the donating £15. How do they know the teachers want to go on a spa day together?
A card and some chocolate is enough to show your appreciation.

If you like the teacher do. If you kind like them ok, chocolate. If you don’t don’t.

people have different idea and that is fine which I presume the person organizing it also needs to understand..