To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

[lostintherhythagain]

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

Gosh, that's loads but thank you for recognising that teachers play a bigger part in your life than your waitress does in 3 hrs.

Can you hand on heart say that this applies to 100% of other teachers or assistants?

Absolutely agree with your reasoning but the problem is that not EVERY single teacher may have your morals and therefore it is absolutely vital that the children are protected from this. Its exactly the same ethos in business.

We used to have a collection and most people put in a fiver. It was good because you can't buy much for a fiver but 30x£5 gives a decent gift. Usually flowers/drink/chocs depending on the teacher and a john lewis voucher for the rest.

I’m happy to do £10 but usually goes towards vouchers as not all teacher like spa/ booze etc

cups and baubles with kids pics on them is a no no

but you can always says you have already got a gift

Itoo am against this christmas gifting hassle. Id like to bet you are not the only mum on a budget so I would stick with the gift you have bought. Its meant to be a token gesture of appreciation. These people are doing their job after all. I was always very negative about workplace collections as I believe there is a lot of guilting and bullying involved. When I became a manager I forbad staff collections except in very special circumstances. Staff were ok to buy individual gfts of course but I disapprove of someone hawking around guilting those who dont want (or cant afford) to lavish gifts.

I think business is different. When you take on a career that involves caring for children, you're not in it for the money. It's the satisfaction of seeing children come on, achieve things through hard work and the confidence you inspire in them. I've had wonderful relationships with children whose parents were beyond painful. It's all about the child. The lengths teachers go to behind the scenes, you wouldn't believe. I've stayed up all night working on something on occasion to make sure I didn't disappoint a child.

I'm a nursery practitioner. I did get a bauble one year with my name on which is currently hanging on my tree but I wouldn't have put it there with a random kids face on! Sorry 🤣 I wouldn't contribute - I'd just do my own thing

Having said that, I'm sure there are a few bad eggs about.

Just like everything else in this crazy inter connected world this is mad, gone completely ott and not necessary. Walk away from it now. (Others may follow) Teachers do not expect this and would not want anyone to struggle.

Nothing wrong with a box of chocs or nice biscuits whch can be shared among colleagues. We got lots at our service point. But those were individual gifts from customers. We would not have wanted all the mugs and plastic tat that teachers get deluged with.

Agreed. I'd be upset if a parent felt an expectation to contribute money they couldn't afford. I'd feel sick about it tbh. No teacher would want that. Any present I have ever received from a child, I've thanked them, then put it under my desk without opening it. I always open the cards in front of them though. I'd hate a child to feel ill at ease because they had nothing to hand me.

Absolutely. But would you bet your life on it that EVERY SINGLE other teacher has the same underlying motives. None of them do it purely for the pay cheque? Not a single one?

Edited, just seen your follow up. Agreed

The safest way for this to happen if for everything to be declared. A box of malteasers, a home made card, even a cup. Thats not bribery, thats a little thank you.

£150/£300/£450 where do you draw the line on influence? No parent or child should be made to contribute or feel that they have to do something to protect their little one from discrimination by contributing. As with anything it starts with nice honest intentions but then it goes down a darker path because someone has a better income and able to use it for influence. Did any of you read the post about the parent who rented a flat to influence the chances of her child getting a better school? Teachers should be beyond reproach imo. Imagine police officers receiving 'monetary gifts' for doing their jobs.

It ain't a great paycheck! In Ireland it's three years in college, 9-6, having had to get minimum a B+ in all your A-level subjects with certain maths, English and Irish level requirements. No one works that hard in secondary school and college to earn so little in return unless they really want to be a teacher because they see the value in it.

So they are paid so little they 'might' be susceptible to bribery.........

Bribery has a horrible way of working its way into everything, even if the intentions were honest.

So many leave when they realise how thankless a job it is.

You just say “thanks for inviting us to be party of this, however we have already purchased our gifts. Thanks”
personalised bauble is INSANE.

This is what I would do.

And as a Teacher and also a member of a small village I think this is quite unusual and not expected so don't give it another thought 🎄

Someone who's doing it for the good, isn't likely to get swayed by bribery. How could you justify putting a kid on a team that isn't able for it? Or give them the big part in the school play when it's not their area of talent? If anything, it's the children down at heel and from backgrounds that would never proffer a present that might get some leg ups in these situations to help build their confidence.

I’m a TA - I’d be surprised that staff can accept that expensive gift and a card with cash in it 😬. We could never accept cash at all.

Box of biscuits or chocolates is more than enough and much appreciated.

Hoping I've misunderstood. They're getting a spa day gift card for all the staff ... as in, expecting them to all go together? Who tf wants to go to the spa with colleagues! Maybe the odd one your friends-friends with rather than just work friends, but the whole team? God no!

I doubt the teachers here know who has contributed or not. I’m pretty sure it’s just a generic thanks, no names. And I recall a teacher saying thanks to everyone.

Well, it's not 15 quid - that's for sure.

If I decided to give a gift, it wouldn't be a group one. Giving cash to the 'collector' to go out and buy something. And possibly something extra for themselves since they have done all the collecting. Nope.

I still have a bauble with a child's face in from several years ago and every year it goes on the tree!