Page 2 | To be told to put in £20 to cover presents for team leads

Hettiejane · 2025-12-13T21:18:12+00:00

So I work in a large team, I've been emailed along with the rest of my team by one of my colleagues to put in £20 each to cover a gift for our 2 seniors, their manager and and the reception staff. We've had our office night out with no money paid towards it and no gifts from senior management. The seniors and their manager are on significant more money than the rest of us and tbh I've had some issues with one of the receptionists being quite rude to me. AIBU to think its a bit much to ask for? There's about 15 or so in the team.

MermaidMummy06 · 13/12/2025 22:06

This happens in my office. Bosses earn huge salaries while we're paid absolute minimum. This year, I refused to contribute to bosses gifts.

Especially when they are slashing the 'bonus' gift card we get at Christmas to less than they get from staff!

Nope. Not from me!!

Blogswife · 13/12/2025 22:07

Absolutely not. As senior manager I used to buy gifts for my team, not the other way around !

RessicaJabbit · 13/12/2025 22:10

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 21:54

Would you just not pay and avoid the whole thing?
Its difficult as certain staff feel its their responsibility to organize the collection

I literally wouldn't engage in the situation.

If they come and ask, I'd say "no thanks, I've got bills to pay".

RessicaJabbit · 13/12/2025 22:11

And so what if the person being paid 2-3x my salary didn't get a share if my £20.

I'm sure they wouldn't even notice

CranberryCandyCane · 13/12/2025 22:15

The place I used to work was like this. We’d all get something like an individual lip balm out of a multipack or a 39p hand gel from Home Bargains. But asked to put enough into a collection to get all the seniors their favourite large bottle of alcohol (or two) along with extras. It used to annoy quite a lot of people.

Daisy12Maisie · 13/12/2025 22:17

Really inappropriate. I would feel terrible if the more junior staff members got me a Christmas present. I buy wine for the 4 people I directly line manage. That’s normal where I work. Nothing major. It was £7 per bottle. It’s a gesture. They don’t buy me anything and I would think it was a bit odd if they did. They did all send me text messages with their regards when I suffered a bereavement recently. I thought that was kind. Gifts from them absolutely not necessary at any time.

I wouldn’t buy my boss a gift for Christmas. It’s just not the done thing. I did sponsor his unwell son but I think that is entirely different and personal choice.

If I was you I would say no as they earn more than you.

My mum was a nurse and at Christmas the drs would put on a buffet for the nurses to show their appreciation. The nurses didn’t pay as they learnt less.

Whatsthatsheila · 13/12/2025 22:20

Fucking brown nosers some people. Tell them “absolutely not”

Happyher · 13/12/2025 22:20

I wouldn’t be putting that much in and wouldn’t expect to put in a collection for more senior staff unless it was a normal thing to collect for leaving or special birthdays for everyone. I was a single parent with 2 kids and most of my spare money went on them.

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:22

MannersAreAll · 13/12/2025 21:56

3

So they're planning to spend at least £50 per person?

That's ridiculous in the current financial climate.

I wouldn't be contributing at all.

Yes if everyone contributes I'm guessing they'll do £50 vouchers or similar.
The joke is we're a Frontline NHS team and been told explicitly and through policy we are not allowed to accept gifts from members of the public we work with yet then asked to pay for gifts for the non public facing staff

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Daisy12Maisie · 13/12/2025 22:27

In addition to what I wrote, me and the 4 people I directly manage then jointly buy a bottle of wine for the people who are then below us. So each level of management buys for the one below. I help the people I manage pay for the wine for the level below them.Im the only 1 in my team at my level, then there are 4 of them at the level below, then 12 at the level below them. It is never expected to buy anything for the level above you.
Its public sector so nothing comes from the company.

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:29

Daisy12Maisie · 13/12/2025 22:27

In addition to what I wrote, me and the 4 people I directly manage then jointly buy a bottle of wine for the people who are then below us. So each level of management buys for the one below. I help the people I manage pay for the wine for the level below them.Im the only 1 in my team at my level, then there are 4 of them at the level below, then 12 at the level below them. It is never expected to buy anything for the level above you.
Its public sector so nothing comes from the company.

Yes we're public sector too.
Id much rather give money for our cleaners who come in everyday and empty bins, clean kitchen and hoover

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wrongthinker · 13/12/2025 22:29

I'd 'reply all' saying that you're not going to be putting in for a collection for senior managers as that is... well, I'm trying to find a professional way of saying 'fucked up'... Okay, got it: Thank you for the invitation to contribute towards gifts for senior managers. I won't be contributing on this occasion as I feel that such gifts are inappropriate and unnecessary.

Neverflyingagain · 13/12/2025 22:35

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:29

Yes we're public sector too.
Id much rather give money for our cleaners who come in everyday and empty bins, clean kitchen and hoover

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I was also public sector and agreed that the lowest paid folks who keep the place running should get gifts but probably don't.
What happens if a grateful patient brings in a box of chocolates or biscuits for your break room? Surely that's okay?
You need to hold firm on your position over this. It should be voluntary, so the whole writing names on envelopes, chasing people up, could be seen as harassment.

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:39

Neverflyingagain · 13/12/2025 22:35

I was also public sector and agreed that the lowest paid folks who keep the place running should get gifts but probably don't.
What happens if a grateful patient brings in a box of chocolates or biscuits for your break room? Surely that's okay?
You need to hold firm on your position over this. It should be voluntary, so the whole writing names on envelopes, chasing people up, could be seen as harassment.

Show quote history

Yes under £10 gift is generally ok (not cash or vouchers) but needs to be declared and shared.
They actually sent an email with the policy on it a few weeks ago, just so ironic to think they are going to happily accept £50

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Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 22:41

Tell them £20 is a fair amount, your absolute maximum in the current climate, that you’ve spent it on the cleaners as they in your opinion are deserving and should be recognised. It indicates you’re prepared to donate, appreciative and cannot be pushed in the direction they stipulate.

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:43

Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 22:41

Tell them £20 is a fair amount, your absolute maximum in the current climate, that you’ve spent it on the cleaners as they in your opinion are deserving and should be recognised. It indicates you’re prepared to donate, appreciative and cannot be pushed in the direction they stipulate.

I have no doubt a secondary collection will go out for the cleaners once we've paid into this one!

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ExperiencedContractor · 13/12/2025 22:45

My default reply for this sort of thing is

”Christmas is an expensive time of year, I only buy gifts for my immediate family.”

Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 22:50

In that case tell them you have given them the money, they must have forgotten and lost it which is why your name isn’t on the envelope. I remember someone doing this and getting away with it. Or keep promising to do it but never have any means to pay when asked. Persistent and hard faced aren’t they?

SpinningaCompass · 13/12/2025 22:50

Just decline to participate.

More people need to do this.

LilyBunch25 · 13/12/2025 22:51

Not a chance!

usedtobeaylis · 13/12/2025 22:52

Absolutely not. I would try and give a bit more to the collection for the cleaners on a point of principle after that.

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:53

Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 22:50

In that case tell them you have given them the money, they must have forgotten and lost it which is why your name isn’t on the envelope. I remember someone doing this and getting away with it. Or keep promising to do it but never have any means to pay when asked. Persistent and hard faced aren’t they?

Yeah that had been my plan, though one time someone offered to put in money in a collection for the ppl who were off then asked for it when they can back!

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Delphiniumandlupins · 13/12/2025 22:53

How about "I'm not contributing to this because I don't feel it is reasonable to only reward certain team members when we have all been working to the best of our abilities. I think senior colleagues would be embarrassed to have less well-paid staff buying gifts for them. Surely a heartfelt message on a personal card would mean more?"

clarrylove · 13/12/2025 22:56

Gift down, not up.

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 23:02

Delphiniumandlupins · 13/12/2025 22:53

How about "I'm not contributing to this because I don't feel it is reasonable to only reward certain team members when we have all been working to the best of our abilities. I think senior colleagues would be embarrassed to have less well-paid staff buying gifts for them. Surely a heartfelt message on a personal card would mean more?"

I wish i had the balls to say this!

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