To not want to use DH's inheritance?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

Hi, I know this is a first world dilemma and we are in a very fortunate position.

DH is 63, work pension kicks in in just under 2 years time. He is 5 years older than me. For a while he's been suggesting that, when he retires, I should drop to PT or even give up work altogether. I've resisted this idea. My work pension doesn't kick in until I'm at state pension age, so 67 for me. I was thinking that maybe I'd go PT for the last 5 years of my working life.

However, two things have now happened. DH's mum died a couple of months ago, and my team at work are undergoing a consultation which will result in 50% of us being made redundant.

DH will inherit all his Mum's savings plus half the value of her house. It's just all been valued for Probate and he will inherit around £300k, maybe slightly more if house sells at more than expected

DH is talking again about me giving up work as, once the house sells, we will have a nest egg, but I'm really worried that (a) there are other things we could use the money for and (b) our standard of living will be much worse. DH thinks we will have much better quality of life as we won't have the stress/pressure of working.

I had thought that we could use some of the inheritance money to give to the DC for house deposits - they are in their late 20s and DS1 Iin particular is very unlikely to ever earn enough for a deposit. If we do that, what's left won't be enough to replace my salary for more than a few years.

So, AIBU to think that it would be better to keep on working - even if I'm made redundant I look for another FT job at a similar salary? Or should I be grateful that we will have some savings behind us, tighten our belts and - if I'm made redundant - accept that my career is over much sooner than anticipated?

OP, do you need £3K a month once your DH is drawing down a pension, assuming your DCs are grown and your mortgage is paid off?

The first thing you need to do is look at what you actually need, and work backwards from there. Don’t overlook that you’ll be getting around £12K a year from interest on the inheritance alone.

Once you have helped DC that amount won’t last long.

I would also feel uncomfortable having no income of my own so would continue to work. If you are not made redundant, I would stay as I am until DH retires. If I was made redundant, I would look for either part time or full time work, depending on what is available in your field.
Once you are over 60/DH is retired, I would look for part-time work until 65 and live on money from DH for the last two years. This would give compromise on being independent/enjoying retirement whilst still fit.
I agree on giving your DC some money for house deposit but balanced with enough to enjoy retirement.

The best thing I did on inheriting from my parents (similar sum) was to seek grown up independent financial advice for a company with a very good reputation. They worked out what our goals were then helped plan pensions, advised husband regarding p/t work planning and pensions, investments for retirement and similar. Dh no longer worries about retiring when he does. that also left us with money for new kitchen bathroom and roof etc. Not easy not fun to do but now my money works for me and not the other way around. If you simply try to live on the capitol without having sound financial advice it’s unlikely to last long or do what you hope it might.

£300k is a lot of money. I wonder why you see it as DH's money and are reluctant to use it - you have shared children and presumably your working part time was in order to facilitate his career while you cared for them?

With children in their 20s then I agree with you that I would want to pass some of this money to them to help set them up. But that could be a £50k deposit each, or £75k to each of them and leave you and your DH with £150k. That could cover your earnings for 5 years, meaning you and DH could retire at the same time. Or mean you could plan to look for a part time job now that you could plan to continue for a few more years after your DH retires.

Do you and he have plans for what you want to do in your retirement? Perhaps that's something you could spend some time talking about. Are you worried he doesn't have ideas and thinks he'll be lonely so wants you around to keep him company?

Amazing, we hit peak mumsnet on the first reply.

£300k is bigger than most people's pension pots... but we're not even talking about a pension pot here, it's just an inheritance...

Yes you're right - although I thought you could go back over 5 years? My redundancy will be somewhat less than 300k however, and it depends on how much pension input amount there was over that period, and therefore how much of the 60k per year is "spare".

It would be life changing for me!

I always see conversations like this through the prism of my lovely Aunt. Always worked. Finally retired, slightly early to spend time with her beloved older husband, but she could have retired earlier. She was dead within a year. You’re never guaranteed a future, so especially if redundancy is available and you can possibly make it work, do.

Go and see a financial advisor together

@Schoolchoicesucks £300k is a lot of money. I wonder why you see it as DH's money and are reluctant to use it - you have shared children and presumably your working part time was in order to facilitate his career while you cared for them?

Assuming this is correct, it's not as if OP working part time to care for children is a relevant factor to DH receiving an inheritance- that happened regardless.

I'd definitely want to carry on earning something.

My DH is quite a bit older than I am as well and wants to retire next year.

I don't particularly want him to as I have no idea what he will do with himself and I'll have no time to myself anymore, but we own our house and aren't short of savings so there's no reasonable objection I can make from a financial perspective. I will definitely carry on working (part-time, I do 3 days a week).

Why the assumption that work isn't enjoyable and doesn't enable the OP to have a happy life.

if the OP has always worked and had their own money, then they are well advised to consider the financial and lifestyle implications, especially if the work they do is skilled and they've put a lot into their career over the years.

The OPs DHs view is so 1950s (I see it a lot on here) that him giving up work automatically means his wife's career can't possibly be as important and that she'll retire when he does.

It's another world on here sometmes, if I had that amount of money coming to me it would transform my life. I live on just over £20k p.a and have very small savings and I still have a better life than many and I try to appeciate that fact.

300k is not enough to give up work just yet for us. Personally I would invest it in the early retirement pot and use it to retire earlier, but not quite now.

Also bear in mind you have no idea what your health will be like for either of you in the next few years and you might find having that cushion is helpful.

I would not commit to giving large chunks of it to the children yet either until your retirement is fully funded.

Yes but you are earning. If the OP stops working, she has to live off savings. I wouldn't like doing that until I absolutely had to. One of my grandmothers died at 101, that's a long time to make the savings last.

However, I appreciate that if the OP continues to earn, the £300K would be an enormous amount of money!

The other consideration is how you feel about spending all day every day with DH at this stage.

That may sound harsh but I am in my sixties, and two sets of friends have split up over this. One couple where she found she couldn’t stand being stuck with her DH all the time at home (rather than being on holiday which was their only previous extended time together) and another couple who agreed their relationship wouldn’t survive retirement and they split fairly amicably.

But it is relevant.

If they divorced, after a 30 year marriage that £300k would absolutely form part of their marital assets. They are a joint financial unit. Their earnings and wealth are joint.

Suggest you both see an accredited financial advisor. You may be in a better position than you think

You've got another two years before your DH retires though, and you will be 60 then - not exactly super young to retire.
If you get made redundant, can you put that money into long term savings, and get another job for the next two years? Ideally one that you can see yourself doing part time later?

You could put say £15k each into a LISA for your kids and that's a big help for them without removing the early retirement option for you and DH.

£300k could return you >£10k a year so you'd soon make that back in interest anyway. Do you intend to stay in your current property in retirement, or would downsizing free up more cash?

You don't know what life has in store for you and if you get on with your DH, I'd take a leap and just do it. Spend time together and slow down, see life, while you're fit and well.

@Schoolchoicesucks If they divorced, after a 30 year marriage that £300k would absolutely form part of their marital assets.

Wrongly.

I have far more respect for people on lower salaries who are able to work and save than some of the loonies I see who claim they are struggling on £100k salaries.

I would second this advice. You never know what’s round the corner health wise and the older you get the more likely for health issues arising. I would certainly go part time and start enjoying more time off

This.

Not the MN ideal but it's real life and reality. I'm with Cat, don't relish a poverty old age with shall I eat ot put the heating on ? The kids are adults, I love them but they have to make their own way in life, unlike every other person on MN I wasn't earning £150k a year with a massive pension scheme.🙄