I just had to make my first safeguarding referral

[alittleshaken]

Obviously I can’t share details but I feel so upset for the poor child and family, and feel filled with guilt even though we’ve all agreed it was the right thing to do. It’s just not a pleasant thing to do at all

when there is a headline about a child killed or injured there’s endless ranting on mn that something should have been done.

Someone posts that they’ve reported a child for safeguarding and there’s endless picking apart by ‘expert’ posters

you can’t bluddy win

you did well op and I can understand your concerns

I was just about to write something very similar. Could have saved me years of heartache and abuse. Our family looked like any other normal family. Back in the 70s/80s there didn't seem to be any safeguarding for children. Now in my 50s I'm still unpacking all that was done to me. Thank you OP for helping this child xxx

@MintDog “Did this to”? It’s not something the OP has “done to” a person. It’s a concern, raised to others in the OP’s organisation who have greater knowledge. They decide whether to take action, not the OP. And safeguarding training (certainly in education where I have worked for many years) requires ALL STAFF to raise ANY concern, no matter how minor. A bruise. A scratch. Someone quieter than usual. An odd comment. In writing, same day. To the designated safeguarding lead.Members of staff have to report concerns by law and sign a document every year saying they have read the law! You could be disciplined or even sacked if it came out that you failed to report a safeguarding concern.
The training does not mince words as to possible outcomes if any minor concern is ignored… it’s brutal . Think Victoria Klimbie or Baby P…I’ve walked out of safeguarding training I’ve been so upset.
As for “ immeasurable damage”… better to raise a concern then find out there’s no problem, then not raise a concern when there is…this is kids we are talking about.
An untrue accusation is of course very upsetting especially where children are involved. But to use that as a reason for not reporting is a false argument.
Not reporting a concern ultimately puts many more children at risk of harm.
Again, well done OP

You’re NU to feel upset about it but you definitely shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s hard being in a job where you have to do this. Does your employer offer a counselling service? Some of the concerns I’ve raised and stories I’ve heard in my two decades as a teacher genuinely haunt me years on, and it’s only recently that I’ve really come to appreciate the emotional toll it can take.

if you’re brooding on it then (a) you should talk to someone confidentially about it and (b) realise that your emotional response is because you genuinely care which is a good thing.

Where does it say the op “saw the incident”?

No where

Christ alive.

Anyone who has thought about safeguarding in detail or seen it close up understands it’s a tough area and that it can be hard to push the button. That it isn’t always as simple as definite abuser/ rescue child. You can see a few of those people on that thread.

But you can see lots more people who clearly don’t know what they are talking about pulling on and being mean. Where do you get off? What gives you the right to bully someone from a position of ignorance? Have some humility - life has plenty left to teach all of us.

I have two adopted children. People who are harming their children in some way live in communities - they may appear nice and pleasant enough to you, but be completely different with the children. Men who murder their families for example are usually given glowing references by the people around them. It's hard to spot child abuse and accept that the perpetrator is capable of it. It can feel like a betrayal to call them out or make the referral. But it saves lives and prevents suffering.

@Lilaclove1maybe ‘saw the incident’ is the wrong phrase, as we don’t know what happened. But there was a ‘thing’ to report or else she wouldn’t have needed to raise it. And she is the one who noticed it.

The child is already on a care plan, which op was aware of.
There shouldn’t have been any ambiguity about what to do when she witnessed yet another incident, she knew it wasn’t an isolated one.

Hi op. It is an emotionally charged thing you did. It is normal to second guess yourself, because doing the right thing at times is difficult. Is there support available for yourself? If yes take it.

I think that’s entirely understandable.

I think all you can do is tell yourself that you’ve followed the correct procedure and hopefully the family will receive support.

And yes, find out if there’s some support for you. A chance to talk it through with a more experienced colleague?

Can I suggest that you get this thread deleted. You shouldn't be talking about this here.

Ok well in the case I know of the child did a sport that incurred bruises and injuries (all of which recorded by said sports coaches) - which they knew damn well about. So yes, it incurred untold damage and honeslty, was done maliciously as a way of getting one back over that parent.

I'm all for reporting but generally if your gut is telling you it's not the right thing to do you should listen to that. It should be 100% you know its the right thing to do before you make that call imo.

I also think this entire thread is disgraceful and should be deleted. It shouldn't be talked about.

Ignore the posters picking holes, OP.
You would be amazed at the number of professionals (GPs, teachers, health visitors, social workers) who fail to raise a safeguarding alert.
Think of it like a jigsaw of a child's life. You come across one piece which looks damaged, other people tell you not to overthink it. No alert is raised.
But what if that child has multiple slightly damaged pieces which, if they had been raised as alerts, would have been seen in their entirety?As part of a wider pattern.
Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility, you don't have to "know" before you raise concerns.The system is designed to triage all alerts.
childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/child-protection-referral-assessments-and-outcomes/

It’s hard to see what “untold damage” could have occurred when the sports coaches had the injuries recorded?

Why do you think that?

I take the opposite view, people should talk about these things as clearly there are issues around them and it mght help someone in the future when they are faced with a similar situation. So long as the information given doesn't identify any people involved or go into specific circumstances - as is the case here.

Totally agree.

Safeguarding is everyone’s business.
No one can be sure they will never need to make a safeguarding referral of some kind.
No one can be sure they won’t be investigated after a safeguarding concern.

Far better that we discuss the time we were referred but it was a false alarm, the time we were referred and received support, the time we were referred and all hell broke loose… because any of us could be in that situation.

As well of course as needing to raise a concern about someone’s situation.

In fact, I’ve been in all these situations now I think about it!

I'm sorry this happened to your friend and her family.

It's not really appropriate to bring false accusations into this thread though. There is absolutely nothing to suggest that OP was making any kind of malicious report. I can absolutely see how deliberately making a false accusation can cause great damage to a person/family but to share it on a thread about a legitimate concern is scarongering.

OP had a genuine concern about a child and acted on it. She feels a certain amount of guilt because she knows that, depending on the actions of the relevant authorities (that none of us - even OP - will ever know) could make life more complicated for the child before it gets better. OP says she has great empathy for the family but sometimes the right thing is not the easy thing nor the thing we think we want and she doesn't want to upset the family.

Emotions are complicated things. It's not as simple as "you feel guilty because you did a bad thing".

@MintDog This is not correct I am afraid. Safeguarding is not about certainty or doing the right thing. It’s about logging an observation that concerns you. And it is a legal requirement.

To anyone working with under 18s or adults at risk…PLEASE don’t wait for your gut. Don’t wait for 100%. Just log your concern. Your observation could be something, could be nothing - by itself. But it could form part of a bigger picture which is collated by the person responsible in your organisation.

Let’s take @MintDog ’s example.
Say I’m a v busy part time school receptionist. I notice bruises on a child’s arm. I raise a safeguarding concern that day. I don’t have 100% certainty that something bad has happened to this child. But I am concerned- and I have done the right thing.
What if the bruises had been caused by a violent parent? What if they fell over in a rugby game? What if they just bruise easily?
Thankfully it’s not my job to find out! Way beyond my pay grade! I’ve just raised a concern. The poor head of safeguarding - often the last to leave - will have to follow up and find out . That’s how it works.

As for malicious accusations- yes they happen in all walks of life, sadly. But we can’t use them as an excuse to do nothing. Report concerns, however small.

Then you have taken the first step towards getting them some help. A Safeguarding referral isn't going to bring fire and brimstone down on anyone's head, rather it will trigger support for them, as a family and targeted support for the child, through school and other children's services.