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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is your family is snobby when it comes to homemade dishes

487 replies

Calgator · 12/12/2025 11:31

My in laws are very snobby when it comes to homemade food.

When I say snobby they wouldn’t judge a single mum relying on something pre made for example but when it comes to the stuff they eat they massively favour homemade stuff. I just find it amusing tbh! They all get VERY excited when someone brings over homemade bread and desserts. Wanting to know what recipe/method you chose. All birthday cakes are homemade. I swear a cake from Tesco would sit completely unopened in the fridge.

There is one vegetarian family member and my sister in law is going to make an entire veggie wellington just for him. I suggested just getting something from M&S and she completely baulked at the very idea. Tbf everyone is a good cook.

It definitely stems from MIL. Who grows her own food, makes chutneys etc. They would never dream of shoving in an Indian selection from Waitrose as starters like my family doesx

I just find it fascinating tbh.

Anyone else have family like this? Even croissants are homemade!

OP posts:
Waitingfordoggo · 12/12/2025 12:51

I am on the opposite side of this situation. My ILs are happy with shop-bought food, I much prefer homemade. If I go to theirs for a roast, it’s Aunt Bessie’s yorkshires and roast spuds from a bag in the freezer. Tesco cheesecake for dessert. I eat them and of course say thank you (and yes, I always offer to bring a contribution to the meal). But I don’t enjoy the meal as much as I would if it had been made by the person cooking. When they come to ours, everything is homemade. I hope they don’t think I’m a snob 😬

gruberandassocs · 12/12/2025 12:54

As you can tell most people think that there is only one snob on this thread....
Cooking from scratch (especially if you are lucky enough to grow your own food) virus ultra processed, mass produced food is like comparing night and day. There is no great mystery in being able to cook, it shouldn't be considered an unusual and weird thing to do. My sil buys enormous cakes from Costco for every occasion and they are grim, just nasty and artificial tasing. But making a cake is a very easy process and actually edible.

Carandache18 · 12/12/2025 12:56

Homemade food is nicer, better quality, cheaper, not stuffed full of chemical preservatives, shows intelligence and care. We do it, as do our children, as did our parents, as do our friends and community. It's not posh. It's constantly evolving- for instance I have learnt vegan cookery in the last few years. My DIL is a wonderful, self taught bread maker.
What's the matter with you? Why are you sneering? You could learn to cook if you wanted to.

BarbieShrimp · 12/12/2025 12:56

GordonBrownwhenherealisedhismicwasstillon · 12/12/2025 12:35

It's only really an option for time rich households

Sure, making three restaurant-style meals at home every day requires more time, space and materials than most people have.

But simply cooking at home and giving your food some love and attention... it's been an accessible option for people who aren't "rich" for literally as long as there have been humans.

The idea that lower-income people are too helpless and unresourceful to cook anything decent at home is offensive on so many levels.

Sartre · 12/12/2025 12:57

I don’t think it’s snobby either, they just appreciate decent food. I wouldn’t look down upon someone buying a shop bought cake or a microwave meal but you can’t say those taste better than homemade because it’s bullshit. Shop bought cakes are way too sweet, extremely sickly and almost chemically? And there’s no way a microwave lasagne tastes anything like a decent homemade one.

Criteria16 · 12/12/2025 13:01

In my house we kind of do the same and honestly I never really thought about it before reading your post. But yes, we get excited when we bake a new cake or bread, we do take homemade food when we visit others, we rarely eat ready meals and the occasional shop-bought cake sits in the fridge until time to join the bin.
Are snob? We don't do it to prove any point, so I don't know....

Seaitoverthere · 12/12/2025 13:02

Rather a strange way of looking at things OP. I was raised on a lot of processed food but I wouldn’t call home cooked food snobby, surely it is normal - can you not see this?!

As someone said earlier, 100 years ago you couldn’t just go to Waitrose and grab an Indian snack selection and a Cecil caterpillar cake.

SoLongLuminosity · 12/12/2025 13:05

Once I started making almost everything from scratch I really couldn't go back 🙊

Shop stuff now just tastes like flavoured sugar or underspiced.

EndorsingPRActice · 12/12/2025 13:05

I must be snobby too. I spend spare time cooking (and I work) happily and far prefer simple home cooked to ready meals / Waitrose Indian starter selections. I am always interested in other people’s home cooking too. Your attitude OP strikes me as really odd, I had thought from the thread title that your ILs were being rude, intolerant about eating shop bought, but this doesn’t seem to be what you mean. I’d love to meet your ILs, I think we’d have plenty to chat about.

Toothfairy89 · 12/12/2025 13:06

I don't really get why someone preferring homecooked food is amusing or fascinating.

Homecooked food is undoubtedly nicer, and healthier than shop bought, especially things like deserts/bread. Homemade birthday cakes/deserts is a completely normal thing? And if someone has gone to the effort of baking something its again normal to show interest/ask the recipe.

It just sounds like they enjoy food, and cooking/baking is a hobby for them. Again making chutney is normal, growing your own vegetables is normal, not everyone does it but its hardly symbolic of a hilarious/snobby attitude to food. All of these things are just normal ways of eating and enjoying food.

Wafflesandcrepes · 12/12/2025 13:07

Not snobby. They know their food. We’re the same. And we favour buying from small, specialist shops including butchers, fishmongers, greengrocers and cheesemongers.

Stravaig · 12/12/2025 13:08

'snobby' 'compulsive desire for homemade food' 'They all get VERY excited'

What is this ignorant, ill-mannered fuckery?
Your posts reveal far more about you than them, OP.

Your in-laws sound lovely, like they value the right things, and are willing to put effort into what matters most.

(Apparently they also keep their own counsel on their sons' choice of wives :)

Wordsmithery · 12/12/2025 13:09

It's not snobbery. They have discerning taste buds, is all.
In fact, I think most people would develop a taste for good quality homemade food if they reduced their salt and sugar intake and cut out HPFs.

BauhausOfEliott · 12/12/2025 13:10

Calgator · 12/12/2025 11:39

I just think there are some things where shop bought is just as nice - spinach and artichoke dip as an example. I have no idea why my ILs would bother!

They bother because they’re interested in food and love cooking. It’s not ‘snobby’; it’s just what they’re interested in.

For example, I make my own granola. Is it noticeably any better than a posh supermarket one? Probably not. But I really like making it and experimenting with adding different things etc.

I certainly don’t make everything from scratch. I eat plenty of ready-made stuff. But I wouldn’t ever buy, eg, a cake or mince pies from the supermarket because I like making my own and I think they’re nicer.

Bamfram · 12/12/2025 13:10

I couldn't care about my car, but I am very fussy about my food.
I too wouldn't call it snobby, just particular about what we eat.

Toothfairy89 · 12/12/2025 13:10

It's also quite scary that we are now at a point in society that we are laughing at people liking homemade food and being interested in cooking. That that attitude is seen as fascinating to some?

Laughing at someone who wouldn't eat a calorie ridden, preservative filled bought cake.

Food should be homemade, we should know the source of our ingredients. It wasn't that many years ago that the majority of food we ate was homemade. Yes modern life gets in the way, and most people don't have time, but we all know that environmentally and health wise that's the gold standard

Purplecatshopaholic · 12/12/2025 13:10

It’s generally a matter of time and inclination isn’t it? And to some extent money.

bostonchamps · 12/12/2025 13:13

We’re plumbing the depths of humanity if cooking from scratch is now snobby, fuck me. I cook everything from scratch as much as possible because I don’t want to sleep walk into diabetes/heart disease/any other illness I could avoid.

I was vegetarian for a long time and I would have wept with joy if someone had made me a wellington for Christmas dinner. You and your SIL sound like you’ve got massive ungrateful chips on your shoulder.

DualPower · 12/12/2025 13:15

Cooking from scratch is not snobby

LadyKenya · 12/12/2025 13:17

Purplecatshopaholic · 12/12/2025 13:10

It’s generally a matter of time and inclination isn’t it? And to some extent money.

Well yes, up to a certain point. There are reasons why some people would not be able to cook homemade food, such as disability, being infirm etc. Some people would rather do other things, than take to the kitchen, and cook, as they see it as a chore. The range of food available now, is astronomical, and readily available. For myself, I prioritise good quality ingredients, that I use to cook for my meals. We can generally see the outcome from poor diets, being reflected in Society. People make choices, from the viable choices available to them.

Kerrie1973 · 12/12/2025 13:18

Calgator · 12/12/2025 11:31

My in laws are very snobby when it comes to homemade food.

When I say snobby they wouldn’t judge a single mum relying on something pre made for example but when it comes to the stuff they eat they massively favour homemade stuff. I just find it amusing tbh! They all get VERY excited when someone brings over homemade bread and desserts. Wanting to know what recipe/method you chose. All birthday cakes are homemade. I swear a cake from Tesco would sit completely unopened in the fridge.

There is one vegetarian family member and my sister in law is going to make an entire veggie wellington just for him. I suggested just getting something from M&S and she completely baulked at the very idea. Tbf everyone is a good cook.

It definitely stems from MIL. Who grows her own food, makes chutneys etc. They would never dream of shoving in an Indian selection from Waitrose as starters like my family doesx

I just find it fascinating tbh.

Anyone else have family like this? Even croissants are homemade!

I would rather not eat cake than eat a bought cake (m&s 'roll' cakes are the exception) because I just find them really sad and disappointing.

Only thing worse than disappointing cake that you have paid for is disappointing cocktails!

My cakes often aren't presented the best, but always taste great. Would much rather spend half an hour of an evening making a cake or brownies that's delicious and everyone wants to eat...and contains actual decent ingredients rather than food like materials!

Psychologymam · 12/12/2025 13:19

I don’t think it’s snobby - shop bought cakes don’t taste very nice to me and it’s fun to make them - the kids help so it’s definitely going to be a bit lopsided/iced a bit oddly so it’s not about perfection. Just about choices - I probably wouldn’t eat a shop bought cake because I’d try save my treats for something I know I’ll love!
Same as buying ready made appetisers, it just never tastes good - my kids point blank refuse bought bread which is really annoying as that takes time to make although they’ll devour frozen chicken nuggets (I’m not a single mom so I hope it’s okay to use them every now and then!) .I think you’re the one with who is being unkind - a single mom relying on UP frozen food is a bit of a stereotype?!

BarnacleBeasley · 12/12/2025 13:20

I still don't think it's snobby (probably because I am pretty much like the in-laws) but I actually do sort of see why OP thinks it is. I reckon it's because all the examples are about hosting or being a guest, and I do actually feel (when I am the host) that it's good manners to make a special effort for my guests and cook from scratch. I also obviously think it's good manners to be polite about whatever you're offered and say nice things about it, and perhaps OP's in-laws do as well. But now she's a member of their family they're not doing their social manners all the time so she knows what they think you ought to do for your guests as she's part of those conversations (e.g. cook the separate veggie meal from scratch). And any mismatch in attitudes to what count as good manners can feel potentially judgmental, or like you don't belong to the group. A bit like the way people get offended by others' different approaches to parenting because it implies they are doing it 'wrong'.

MO0N · 12/12/2025 13:20

Who in their right mind would choose edible food-like substances designed to be highly addictive over proper food?

krustykittens · 12/12/2025 13:20

Homemade food does taste better. I get that ready made stuff is more convenient and I am a hopeless baker so there are times I buy shop bought cakes and I buy bread from the supermarket. But my DD bakes and the difference between her home baking and shop bought is night and day. I love to cook and I love curry, I wouldn't touch a ready made curry from the supermarket with a barge pole, they taste nowhere near as nice and there are plenty of quick curry recipes out there. Having said all that, I wouldn't sneer at anyone buying ready made and when I go to people's houses I eat what is put in front of me and I appreciate their hospitality. But it doesn't sound like your ILs are doing that, so I don't think they are the ones being snobby.

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