Is your family is snobby when it comes to homemade dishes

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My in laws are very snobby when it comes to homemade food.

When I say snobby they wouldn’t judge a single mum relying on something pre made for example but when it comes to the stuff they eat they massively favour homemade stuff. I just find it amusing tbh! They all get VERY excited when someone brings over homemade bread and desserts. Wanting to know what recipe/method you chose. All birthday cakes are homemade. I swear a cake from Tesco would sit completely unopened in the fridge.

There is one vegetarian family member and my sister in law is going to make an entire veggie wellington just for him. I suggested just getting something from M&S and she completely baulked at the very idea. Tbf everyone is a good cook.

It definitely stems from MIL. Who grows her own food, makes chutneys etc. They would never dream of shoving in an Indian selection from Waitrose as starters like my family doesx

I just find it fascinating tbh.

Anyone else have family like this? Even croissants are homemade!

Defensiveness?

I have been a vegetarian for nearly 40 years and have occasionally come across this kind of combativeness as though my dietary choices are somehow a judgement on theirs

My post said making your own croissants is impressive though a faff. That I had made my own crumpets once but never again and that I make bread. That poster deduced from that I’m a food snob looking down on people and that I must never buy pre-made bread products??🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I'm team homemade all the way. Snobby? No. Healthier? Cheaper? less packaging...? yes. And what's with the comment about single mums? I was a single mum for a while after my divorce. I still made good wholesome food from scratch. Birthday cakes for a family member I will always make... It's a love language.

My default is homemade for near everything! Tastes better, often costs less, you know what's in it, I have the time and I enjoy the process so why wouldn't I? I'm not obsessive about it where shop bought is good.
Are you sure you don't feel a bit inadequate for not having the same interest, or perhaps skill, yourself? and that's why you're criticising them (while saying you find it all very "amusing").

I think all the team homemade people are missing the point. I should say I do prefer homemade, homemake birthday cakes and bread etc. and my in laws are the absolute homemade people.

But it can feel very judgemental if you don’t have the time/confidence to lovingly homemake a birthday cake if you have the sort of people who raise their eyebrows at something shop bought.

Especially around Christmas my Mum would spend hours in the kitchen whilst generally seeming on a short fuse and very stressed and fed up. If you genuinely enjoy it great but it is amazing how much judgement there can be over choosing a bit of peace and an M&S pre-made thing.

But surely it was always quite a normal thing. It’s you who has succumbed to modern life of ready made items.

"it’s OP looking down on her in laws for cooking from scratch, not vice versa. "

No, they rejected the ides of a ready meal for the vegetarian.

They rejected the vegetarian ready meal when everyone else would be eating a good home cooked meal. Which is what anyone with an ounce of manners, pride, or hosting skills would do.

No they choose to cook a meal for a vegetarian guest in their house. I'm not looking down on ready made meals everything I choose to cook home-made food.

they rejected the ready meal proposal because they are good cooks and enjoy cooking. That doesn’t make them snobs.

Op is laughing and sneering at her in laws for cooking from scratch. That is snobbish, nasty behaviour.

I've been that solo vegetarian where everyone else is tucking into a homemade meal and I get a revolting microwave lasagne plonked in front of me. It made me feel pretty crap. I'd never do that to a guest.

I'm vegetarian and when eating in a group my preference would be a meal where the meat can be separated from the rest of it. If that's not possible, I definitely would NOT expect my host to cook something separate for me and would be very happy with a microwave lasagne, something that is obviously NOT necessarily revolting!

You’re missing the point again. This isn’t about a guest expecting anything, it is about a family, who Op states enjoy homemade food and are good cooks, hosting a vegetarian and planning an appropriate meal (homemade vegetarian wellington) and the OP suggesting they instead buy a ready meal. The OP goes on to laugh and sneer at her in laws because they didn’t go with her idea of a ready meal over their already planned homemade meal.

" because they didn’t go with her idea of a ready meal over their already planned homemade meal."

They were sneering at the perfectly reasonable suggestion of a ready meal.

The judgmental bit is coming from the OP, who sneers at her in-laws for making proper food rather than relying on a convenience food at Christmas. Making a mushroom wellington for the sole vegetarian is a thoughtful and kind thing to do, but the OP thinks it's insane.

There are often times where a convenience food is just the job. A family meal for Christmas hosted by people who are excellent cooks (according to the OP) isn't that occasion.

It's fair enough that you don't expect it. But as a host, I'd expect it of myself. I'd die of shame serving someone a microwave lasagne when everyone else had a home-cooked meal.

It's a god-awful suggestion, as many solo vegetarians on this thread have said. They were rejecting her cheap mass-produced suggestion because they already have a plan to cook something they were happy with.

OP sticking her oar in about a meal she is neither helping prepare nor host isn't being helpful.

"It's a god-awful suggestion, as many solo vegetarians on this thread have said."

Selfish people if they're expecting the host to cook two main meals!

Fine if you are happy with that - I find microwave ready meals grim TBH. And it doesn't show much thought or care for a guest. I'd be quite happy with the same meal as everyone if that would be possible, but the hosts maybe feel that's a bit of a faff? I've been to BBQ's (where I would have been OK with a couple of veggie sausages) sitting with my micro meal while everyone else is eating their BBQ. I make sure I cater for all guests equally to make them all feel welcome no matter how fiddly or time consuming that might be.

I don't selfishly 'demand' anything, but I have felt disappointed. I am not expecting a separate main meal, but a little side dish which isn't too much trouble. Like I have said, I would do the same. I have even offered to take my own food before and been told 'don't worry we are happy to cater for you' and thengot the micro meal. I do have to say most of my friends and family are lovely and do put themselves out, it's mainly one repeat offender.

"I've been to BBQ's (where I would have been OK with a couple of veggie sausages) sitting with my micro meal while everyone else is eating their BBQ. "

But veggie sausages are UPF, or do you expect them to have a sausage machine and make them from scratch. I would have brought my own sausages anyway.

Your point about a side dish is irrelevant because as I said earlier, the ideal is a meal where the meat and veg are not mixed, but it was clear in this case that the main meal would be different for the omnivores and the vegetarians.

Not selfish. I've cooked a second vegetarian option on many occasions. That's what you do if you... host vegetarians? Why invite someone if you're going to scrape something out of a plastic tub for them? How dreadful. I'm cringing thinking about it.

"I've cooked a second vegetarian option on many occasions. That's what you do if you... host vegetarians?"

Well, no, you can cook something where the meat is not in with the other stuff and you can add a few more side things. You can also cook vegetarian for everyone because omnivores don't have to have meat for every meal. You can also have meat as an optional side rather than the main focus. You don't have to cook two main meals and I would be very embarrassed if someone did that for me.

I was just making a point about sitting (at a BBQ) eating something very different to the rest of the guests. But I have made veggie sausages (without a sausage machine), although I wouldn't expect that at a family BBQ! BIL actually does own a sausage machine! And, again, we offered to bring something and were turned down - a nice salad would have been great.

Yes your 'ideal' would have been OK (as I said) but we're the guests and it's up to the hosts and they may not want to do that. And a side dish is a perfect solution. Usually, in our family, a veggie (main) option is provided - other than that one party.

Yes, us too. We've got a gluten-free friend (life style choice not a health one) and I keep in gluten-free plain and SR flour especially. One friend hates strong spices especially curries, so mildish meals for them. My cousin brought his meat only GF round for dinner once - so we did three roasts. I assumed she ate a lot of meat but would have a few roasties and a little bit of veg. Nope, just a huge plate of meat.

"I have made veggie sausages (without a sausage machine), although I wouldn't expect that at a family BBQ"

I just think it's hypocritical to reject a ready meal while you actually wanted veggy sausages that are also UPF. It's one of the reasons I really suspect there's a lot of snobbery going on here and it's not really about all ready-made food being 'awful or 'god-awful' as one person put it.