To make my own plans for our shared birthday?

[Artmumcreative]

DH and I share our birthday. He's very introverted, I'm very extroverted. We have a toddler that needs to be worn out, otherwise she's bored and won't nap. I've suggested going to a soft play and inviting my friends and their kids, I've suggested the zoo, I've suggested a museum. He's been very clear that he wants to spend our birthday at home.
Would I be unreasonable to make my own plans with friends or family and leave DH to sit around at home on his own?

Yes do your own thing and you will both be happy

How do you normally spend your birthday? Surely he can't expect you to always stay home?

That depends, would your DH also like you & your daughter to spend this time at home with him?

If no, you decide

If yes, then perhaps DD spends the morning with DH, you & DD follow your plan in the afternoon & you & DH celebrate together at home in the evening

But surely OP's needs and wants on her birthday are equally as important as what DH wants?

DH surely should be looking at it from a what shall WE do on our birthday; rather than He's been very clear that he wants to spend our birthday at home - like every other day of the year?

OP - make your plans.